So what is normal?
I decided I wanted to started wearing diapers day and night around 11 months ago. I had one day where I backed off, and I am not sure why. It only took 24 hours before I concluded that I really wanted to commit to going full time. So it has been a little over 10 months straight, and today, I realized that I was wetting without thinking about it. I realized just before lunch that I needed a change and didnít have any conscious memory of wetting. I guess I was relaxed to a point where it is beginning to be normal to wet without thinking about it. Wow, day time wetting; finally. Of course the rest of the day, even though I remained relaxed and confident, I went back to being very aware of wetting.
I still have a long ways to go, but I thought I would pass on a few things that enabled me to get to this point. Although I am sure there are other that have gone through this, I wanted to confirm that when you have patience, it all comes together.
I read an article on acceptance and voluntary incontinence. The main points were commitment, acceptance, and confidence. I thought I had all three when I started, but realized that all three came over a period of time.
The commitment part was a big one for me to get over. When you commit to going 24/7, you really need to accept the fact that you are not going to hold back because you are somewhere inconvenient or awkward. That took me several months to over come, and that is where acceptance came into play.
I am not sure if this will make sense to anyone, but when I finally accepted the fact that I really wanted to do it, and I was willing to put it on the line, it went much easier. I have had a few instances when I wet even when I thought it may end up in a situation where I had to leave a meeting or leave a group of people.
One of my biggest fears was being caught in wet pants, or worse yet, show the tattle tale signs of wearing diapers. To me it is all about discretion. Even though I secretly would like someone to find out I am diapered, I can not let it creep in to my professional world.
One of the first things I read in the article that I neglected to take serious was wearing protection that I could count on no matter what. Even it was borderline and a slight crinkle or bulge, you must have confidence in your diapers, and enough confidence to be able to be any where any time and not worry about a leak.
I played with many combinations before I found one that I was comfortable with and wasnít so obvious that someone notice. It took a while to realized that as long as you act with confidence, no one really stares at your butt or crotch unless there is something that draws attention to it.
I tried several combinations from thin to very thick. I would usually go to the mall on a test run to see if anyone would notice. The only time I ever feel like someone might of noticed was when I wore ACD cloth diapers and plastic pants. I knew better, but I wanted to see how far it I could go in a place where no one knew me before I was noticed. It took much more than I expected. I wore a Birdseye nighttime cloth diaper with plastic pants (ton of bulk) before I noticed one of the sales women in Nordstoms took a second look (nothing said).
After playing with several daytime configurations, I ended up using Bambino Bianco, and Leakmaster plastic pants. When I got my first Bambino order, I had serious doubts that any one could wear on in public without it being extremely obvious. I found that if I use a LeakMaster plastic pant over the Bambino that is once size smaller than normal, I am totally fine. Now, I am confident.
So, the point I wanted to make is that it really can be done without making it obvious to others you work with. I know that it is easy to exaggerate and even fantasize about our diaper habits, but this is working out well for me, even though it seems like it took a life time to achieve this small victory. I am very fortunate that I am able to leave work without being questioned, and that is tíhe magicí piece of the puzzle for me. If I knew that I had an issue and needed to leave and couldnít, I donít think I could pull this off.
I still have not been able to wake up wet in the morning and be surprised about it. Night time wetting is still a very conscious voluntary process. However, I will take it one day at a time, and celebrate todayís involuntary victory.
I have heard about the bedwetting tapes, but doubt that they actually work. Has anyone actually used one and seen results?
Thanks in advance you any input.