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Thread: Finally told my friend...

  1. #1

    Default Finally told my friend...

    I've been tempted to tell my best friend about my ABDL side for over 5 years now. Well, last night, he slept in my dorm, andwe started talking about our personal feelings and fears. As new college students, we have many. It evolved into a deeply philosophical conversation about happiness, and got very abstract. Then I figured, what the hell, and told him.

    He basically said that it's fine, and really, it's not that wierd. As long as I'm not hurting anyone, why should it be a problem. Basically, it's socially wierd, but if you get past social norms, it's pretty much whatever. He said he sees me no differently, and honestly doesn't mind.

    Then it evolved again into a conversation about taboos we like, non sexual, and of course, eventually it evolved into fetishes. I actually showed him my secret chest, and he was insanely impressed by my collection and feats of depraved engineering. :p

    Anyway, aside from that, thought I should share this big step for me. Other than my boyfriend (whom I met on adisc), and my therapist (who is literally paid for confidentiality), he is the only person irl who knows.

  2. #2
    Pulluplover

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    Was it a little bit liberating?

  3. #3

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    Yeah, it feels nice to not have to hide who I am around him, mainly.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by TeddyHugs View Post
    Yeah, it feels nice to not have to hide who I am around him, mainly.
    At least you feel good about yourself. Most people end up chickening out which is common because it's a touchy subject to completely blurt it out without knowing what your exactly going to say. You must be having the time of your life knowing your guilt-secret is no longer in the back of your head from your best friend. It's also great you found more interesting things to talk about, it adapted to other conversations as well it seems. You are going to have some goofy times I guess ^^ and he's right, AB/DL'ism doesn't bother or hurt anyone because it's just a feeling inside all of us on ADISC have and we have trouble expressing it the right way instead of doing it the wrong way. Some people just feel offended because people think it's a sign of not growing up, not being a man or woman, lots of people just think the idea is stupid. Your lucky, because some people throw this urge away and pretty much they are throwing half their life out and trying to fill up that extra spot and people wonder what's missing in their life.

    "I don't even know it just...feels like something is wrong with me"

    "You got rid of your AB/DL life, that's what happened. You threw a part of yourself away"

    You did the opposite and kept your life pretty much which is very cool! I'm very proud of you for expressing yourself and look at you, you still get to keep your friend, and he's comfortable hanging around with you knowing what you truly love to do. You are very special!

    I told my friends about my babyfur side and I had to tell the same story over and over because it was literally the same story. I have 5 friends who I told about my babyfur side since I was starting college. "If I was going to keep your friendship, then you need to know the true me because this isn't high school anymore." High school people can be immature and go off completely, some college students are the exact same but there are mature ones. I almost lost one friend because I had to elaborate babyfur and they thought I was a complete immature baby. I said "yeah, I am immature, but that doesn't stop me from being who I truly am"

    Keep your head up!

  5. #5

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    Woo! Congrats, it's always nice to read stuff like this. It also kind of hits hits close for me since I've been contemplating telling my best friend for a while now.

    My partner and I will be sharing a house some months from now with him, his wife, and their little boy. They are very open minded people but with a kid I'm not sure how they would take this kind of thing. It's honestly been stressing me out a bit. Like Snivy said, being an AB/DL is part of me and it kills me to lock it away, especially after enjoying my own space for so long. I'd hate to lose them over this but I just feel like I need to say it.

    Blah, anyway, super cool of your friend. And again, congrats. :3

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Snivy View Post
    At least you feel good about yourself. Most people end up chickening out which is common because it's a touchy subject to completely blurt it out without knowing what your exactly going to say. You must be having the time of your life knowing your guilt-secret is no longer in the back of your head from your best friend. It's also great you found more interesting things to talk about, it adapted to other conversations as well it seems. You are going to have some goofy times I guess ^^ and he's right, AB/DL'ism doesn't bother or hurt anyone because it's just a feeling inside all of us on ADISC have and we have trouble expressing it the right way instead of doing it the wrong way. Some people just feel offended because people think it's a sign of not growing up, not being a man or woman, lots of people just think the idea is stupid. Your lucky, because some people throw this urge away and pretty much they are throwing half their life out and trying to fill up that extra spot and people wonder what's missing in their life.

    "I don't even know it just...feels like something is wrong with me"

    "You got rid of your AB/DL life, that's what happened. You threw a part of yourself away"

    You did the opposite and kept your life pretty much which is very cool! I'm very proud of you for expressing yourself and look at you, you still get to keep your friend, and he's comfortable hanging around with you knowing what you truly love to do. You are very special!

    I told my friends about my babyfur side and I had to tell the same story over and over because it was literally the same story. I have 5 friends who I told about my babyfur side since I was starting college. "If I was going to keep your friendship, then you need to know the true me because this isn't high school anymore." High school people can be immature and go off completely, some college students are the exact same but there are mature ones. I almost lost one friend because I had to elaborate babyfur and they thought I was a complete immature baby. I said "yeah, I am immature, but that doesn't stop me from being who I truly am"

    Keep your head up!
    Thanks, now to tell my roommate, as I live in a dorm now. I've known my friend for over 5 years now, but my roommate, over 3 weeks. They're very open minded and probably won't care, but still, it's an intimate subject for me.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by TeddyHugs View Post
    Thanks, now to tell my roommate, as I live in a dorm now. I've known my friend for over 5 years now, but my roommate, over 3 weeks. They're very open minded and probably won't care, but still, it's an intimate subject for me.
    Are you sure they won't be creeped out by it? They also may wonder if there will be associated smells, all legitimate concerns for the uninformed.

  8. #8

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    Well, perhaps. But we are both extremely progressive (literally living in the Social Justice Wing, which is co-ed and basically distilled liberalism), and we have a very open, respecting relationship. For example, from day one, they made it very clear that they smoked weed and took prescription drugs, and I made it very clear that I was totally fine with that so long as I didn't get in trouble.

    As for smell, I'm very sanitary, and I will tell them as much. I don't mess, and I launder my diapers after I pee.

  9. #9

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    Congratulations on having worthy friends and getting past all the head drama that happens thinking up awful outcomes. I find it amuzing how we can come up with terrible things in our heads and when we say it finally, its pretty much "oh, ok" and then its very much "meh". It may not always be the case but thats how you know you have good friends.

  10. #10

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    I just told my roommate, and it went basically the same. They are totally cool with it in every way, and are even totally fine with me having little time.

    Wow, I can't believe how hard that was for me. Like, I feel not only so much better now that I can do my thing, but also, I feel like I've grown. I can't believe I'm capable of trusting that much. I'm still in awe I've told two people this extremely deep secret. I literally don't know how to feel except to relieved, and in pure awe at what I just did, and how well it went.

    I'll update with more thoughts when I'm able to get past this genuine awe.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I know something that feels just like how I feel. Have you ever climbed a mountain? Well, you start at the bottom, and you look up, full of excitement and ready to climb. You start, but quickly, it hits you how hard it really is. You scrape your skin, you bruise, you get cactus in you (I'm from Arizona), you get thirsty, tired and hungry. The sun is beating down on you, reflecting back off of the rocks, and sapping your strength. At that point, it doesn't matter how much you wanted to reach the top, all of your instincts are telling you to give up. Maybe you do, or maybe you fall, and you're back at the bottom, worse for ware. But you look back up, and you feel the same excitement at the prospect of being so high and free at the top. So you climb, and climb, and climb every last grueling bit. Then, at the top, you're not sure if you really want to see the world below from the new perspective. Perhaps the world won't change, but for you, it will never be the same, seeing it at such a vast and minimizing panorama. You waiver, just a few steps from the top. Then finally, you realize you came to far to just give up. You take the final step onto the top of the mountain. You are met with the cool breeze on your hot, sweaty body. You're exhausted, but you did it. I feel like that.

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