Why do we go on trying to do good in a world where nothing good ever seems to happen. the only good that seems to happen is the gentael lotus blossom opening on a warm spring day as the waves rock it back and fourth, it only has a short time on this earth, like all creatures. the reason i say this is because today, like many days, i tried to talk about my desires to my family , and once again, she basically outed me as a freak. i needed to talk to somebody so they might be able to help me, this time, it was about a space to be me, since i never moved out. i tried to tell her that i needed a crib, and she told me that i was crazy and not to take it that far, so i cried in my computer museum for a while. why must we lose our innocence at such a young age, why must i have perverse desires, why must the lotus flower wilt. i just want to be a baby fox sometimes without my sexuality getting in the way, i don't want to get an erection, i just do. all i want to do is put on my fursuit and sissyfur clothes and drink a bottle of milk while i lie in a crib and relax, I'm not suicidal, just sad.