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Thread: Bi/Gay Sexuality

  1. #1

    Question Bi/Gay Sexuality

    For along time I have been questioning my sexuality I don't don't know if I'm straight, bi, gay, or Asexual. When ever a girl talks to me I would feel a lot of care and I would fall in love at first sight but with a guy it makes me want to touch him but not really love him. So basicly It's easier for me to fall in love with a girl than a guy but I'd rather touch a guy other than a girl and girls don't really turn me on but guys do. It's very confusing to me. I already have a boyfriend but I feel that I don't love him as much as I should love him in a normal realationship. I also thought that I was asexual since my feelings don't really combine together. Lastly I took this sexuality test one day and the results said that I'm bi but more gay. Any thoughts or Ideas? Or Have you ever gone through this experience?

  2. #2

    Default

    I've gone through pretty much the same thing, and I'm actually not entirely sure of what I am yet. The thing is, I've stopped worrying about it all the time and I try to just take things as they come.

    I've always felt pretty gay. I've basically known that I was since I was 10 and fell in love with a guy in my new class. At the time I definitely didn't want to be gay, so I was somewhat successful in telling myself the opposite for a couple of years.

    Eventually I admitted to myself that I wasn't into girls and thought myself to be 100% gay. Not too long after that I started noticing the occasional girl in a way that I hadn't before. Once again I was confused. Then there was my sexual interest in diapers just to top it of and make it even harder to make any sense of my sexuality.

    After a while I just gave up on thinking about it and trying to make sense of it all. I realized I didn't have to know my exact decimals on the Kinsey scale. Whenever I met somebody and it felt right that would be it.

    I eventually did meet a guy who I spent a 2 1/2 year relationship with. The first months were confusing and I landed back on the same old thoughts. Was I gay? Should I be with a girl instead? Would my preferences allow me to be with a girl instead? Is this how you're supposed to feel in a relationship or am i just faking being in one? After those first months I just came to terms with things being as they were, and the relationship became just what I was hoping for it to become.

    I now call myself gay as it is the easiest way to say the most about my sexuality, but that occasional girls still does something for me. I don't think I need to further specify my orientation to anybody or to myself. So really, all the advice I can give is; Try not to think too hard about what exact box you fit into. Just keep on experimenting and experiencing and you'll probably be ok with not knowing everything.

  3. #3
    Mesmerale

    Default

    snydead, I agree with PadDaBrat,

    Gay, Straight, Bisexual, Asexual. They're all just words. How you feel wouldn't change despite what word you use, so why bother classifying your feelings like that?

    Just go with what you feel. Look to date the person that attracts you and you'll be fine.

  4. #4

    Default Keep questioning.

    I don't think that questioning ones sexuality is really something that ever stops. I'm 26 and I still haven't explored the full breadth and depth of my own sexuality. Sometimes, I find myself emotionally attracted to women, but sexually attracted to guys. Other days, the mix is somewhere in between. That being said, I certainly don't think that anyone on any internet forum, or some "test" on a webpage can tell you what MAKES YOU HAPPY. I like to think that it's all going to be up in the air until I meet that special someone, whether boy or girl. Other times, that seems like the easy way out. The important thing, truly, is that you and your partner are a happy as can be. Don't feel compelled to lock yourself into a little tiny box with a sign on it. The human psyche is far to big to ever be constricted like that.

    Back in the late '40s a man named Alfred Kinsey did a lot of research into human sexuality. One of the things he found was that people are not exclusively heterosexual, nor exclusively homosexual. He found that most folks are somewhere in the middle, and that people move up and down the scale as they age.



    Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories... The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. -Alfred Kinsey
    Kinsey Reports - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

  5. #5

    Default

    I also felt the same way as you Snydead. In college I had plenty of sex with my male room mate and friend. But I never felt like kissing, cuddling and all of that. I feel more like that with females, but I'm not sexually attracted to females in the same way as I am to younger males. Fortunately now at my age I don't much care, as I'm married and made my choice. But I don't think what you are going through is that unusual. And then as PadDaBrat said, confuse it with diapers as well and we quickly become complicated. Human sexuality is hard to understand. I would do that which makes you happy. If it changes from time to time, enjoy the differences. Life is too short, and we grow old way to quickly.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by PadDaBrat View Post
    The thing is, I've stopped worrying about it all the time and I try to just take things as they come.
    That is a suprisingly hard thing to learn in todays society. People pressure you to lable yourself with lables pre set by someone else. I've always hated lables, which is why I try not to get any, but I just recently found out that other people have labled me sence I wouldn't.

    Really, what you know is enough. Girls are better for relationships, Guys are better for sex. Just leave it at that and go with what you feal like that day. Just don't try to lable yourself. If you do and you change, the lable might not and then you'd have to go through another one of these confused fazes while trying to figure out the right lable. Instead, just go with you gut fealings and if anyone asks about your sexuality, just shrug it off and say you don't care.

  7. #7
    zakrawr

    Default

    i'm defiantly bi.

    had mostly gf's tho, but my taste varies on the guy/girl, sometimes i prefer guys, sometimes i prefer girls.
    haven't had many bfs.

    have had deeper serious relationships with guys, girls so far don't want to go so deep and prefer it to be too casual than serious.

    find it much easier to chat to guys, and this may sound wrong, but tend to trust guys better from many past bad experiences(being used,back stabbers,multiple cheaters,liers,and even grasses) with girls.

    only certain types guys i fancy too: skinny/slim, hardly no muscle, no or little body hair, medium-long length hair.
    so i only go for the emo/scene/indie/skater/rocker/metal/goth and pretty boy types of guys.
    muscly, hairy or macho is a huge TURN OFF for me.

    whereas i'm not that fussy about how girls look, as long they ain't ugly or overly fat.
    actualy like fat-ish girls, asian girls,etc.

  8. #8

    Default

    Well, unless you reproduce on your own without any outside intervention; you're not asexual

  9. #9
    EmeraldsAndLime

    Default

    I can't really elaborate better than what others have said thus far...

    Gay/Bi/Asexual/Straight/etc... are all labels used as quick references someone's preference. None of these labels could ever accurately describe your feelings and attractions towards other people. Fact of the matter is, you're snydead-sexual, and there's no better way to denote your sexuality. Go with the flow, do the things you like to do, and be with the people you want to be with and are comfortable with. Don't ever force yourself into a group or label yourself with something that doesn't accurately depict who you are.

  10. #10

    Default

    Almost everyone goes through a period of confusion about what their sexuality is. It can start right at puberty, or it can last your whole life. Personally, I didn't know for sure until a very short time ago, and I am 22 years old. I agree with what most people here are saying, that you needn't define yourself to a label. But sometimes you want that label, and that's not wrong. Sometimes you want to identify yourself. It can't be rushed, reflecting and meditating on issues of what makes you happy, and happiest, can help though.

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