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Thread: Making this a lifestyle - Not worth it for me?

  1. #1

    Default Making this a lifestyle - Not worth it for me?

    Okay so I've tried looking for similar threads, couldn't quite find one that hit the mark, so I'll just make one.

    ---

    So recently I've been experiencing a lot of urges, which is really rare for me. I have plenty of diapers, and plenty of alone time, so I can pretty much wear whenever I want at home - given, I don't live alone so that is limited to the confines of my room, which is admittedly pretty small.

    It's not just the urge to wear, though there is plenty of that. Lately, I really want to just be able to act more kiddish, dress in more of that style (Cartoon prints, brighter colors, more traditionally kiddish clothes like overalls, etc), without going too overboard of course, and most of all, without shoving it in anyone's face, I would really like to wear 24/7. I'd love to be able to go other places and feel carefree instead of confined when I wear, and not so bottled up in my room, and honestly a little bit of paranoia. This isn't about subjecting people to my fetish (I have a bit of one, but not as much as I am just genuinely a Little, wanting to feel little) and it's not about the desire to be getting reactions, because I could care less how strangers react, and I'd think I wouldn't want to be too obvious about it anyway. Really, I just want to be able to shake this caged feeling.

    But... I really can't even imagine being able to do so in my current situation. I don't want to even begin to let my parents in on this, so I can't do it at home. And since I work with colleagues of my parents, I can't do it at work either. Finally, since this is not such a big town I live in, I can't even go out places without expecting to encounter someone I regularly deal with. Basically I feel like in order to do something like express my little side in public, I would need to move far away, basically losing all contact with my family and friends. Which is not something I consider worth sacrificing.

    So yeah, my mind's buzzing with ways to let it out without losing so much. I keep getting the urge to travel, to consider maybe not living in my home town when I leave my parents again, to attend cons or finally reach out to friends. Basically I feel willing to do pretty much anything short of coming out about it to my family, but I'm struggling to see situations that would be worth it.

    So here's my question, for non-IC 24/7'ers and people who live ABDL as a lifestyle, since I know there are a few:

    How did you go from hiding it to being so open? How do you make the transition from only wearing in privacy to 24/7? How do you avoid losing your family, or your friends?

  2. #2

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by HeyYoungBlood View Post
    Okay so I've tried looking for similar threads, couldn't quite find one that hit the mark, so I'll just make one.

    ---

    So recently I've been experiencing a lot of urges, which is really rare for me. I have plenty of diapers, and plenty of alone time, so I can pretty much wear whenever I want at home - given, I don't live alone so that is limited to the confines of my room, which is admittedly pretty small.

    It's not just the urge to wear, though there is plenty of that. Lately, I really want to just be able to act more kiddish, dress in more of that style (Cartoon prints, brighter colors, more traditionally kiddish clothes like overalls, etc), without going too overboard of course, and most of all, without shoving it in anyone's face, I would really like to wear 24/7. I'd love to be able to go other places and feel carefree instead of confined when I wear, and not so bottled up in my room, and honestly a little bit of paranoia. This isn't about subjecting people to my fetish (I have a bit of one, but not as much as I am just genuinely a Little, wanting to feel little) and it's not about the desire to be getting reactions, because I could care less how strangers react, and I'd think I wouldn't want to be too obvious about it anyway. Really, I just want to be able to shake this caged feeling.

    But... I really can't even imagine being able to do so in my current situation. I don't want to even begin to let my parents in on this, so I can't do it at home. And since I work with colleagues of my parents, I can't do it at work either. Finally, since this is not such a big town I live in, I can't even go out places without expecting to encounter someone I regularly deal with. Basically I feel like in order to do something like express my little side in public, I would need to move far away, basically losing all contact with my family and friends. Which is not something I consider worth sacrificing.

    So yeah, my mind's buzzing with ways to let it out without losing so much. I keep getting the urge to travel, to consider maybe not living in my home town when I leave my parents again, to attend cons or finally reach out to friends. Basically I feel willing to do pretty much anything short of coming out about it to my family, but I'm struggling to see situations that would be worth it.

    So here's my question, for non-IC 24/7'ers and people who live ABDL as a lifestyle, since I know there are a few:

    How did you go from hiding it to being so open? How do you make the transition from only wearing in privacy to 24/7? How do you avoid losing your family, or your friends?
    I know this probably won't help much, but since I found out about two weeks ago that I can fit into girls goodnites, I've been wearing them nearly every day regardless of who is around. Today is the first day I haven't since finding out simply because I had stuff to do. If you fit you can take the first step by wearing discreetly 24/7; maybe carry a paci hidden away? You'll figure it out man, we're in the same boat :P

    Sorry if it's a scattered thought, I'm watching Captain America 2 simultaneously

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by HeyYoungBlood View Post
    Okay so I've tried looking for similar threads, couldn't quite find one that hit the mark, so I'll just make one.

    It's not just the urge to wear, though there is plenty of that. Lately, I really want to just be able to act more kiddish, dress in more of that style (Cartoon prints, brighter colors, more traditionally kiddish clothes like overalls, etc), without going too overboard of course, and most of all, without shoving it in anyone's face, I would really like to wear 24/7. I'd love to be able to go other places and feel carefree instead of confined when I wear, and not so bottled up in my room, and honestly a little bit of paranoia. This isn't about subjecting people to my fetish (I have a bit of one, but not as much as I am just genuinely a Little, wanting to feel little) and it's not about the desire to be getting reactions, because I could care less how strangers react, and I'd think I wouldn't want to be too obvious about it anyway. Really, I just want to be able to shake this caged feeling.


    But... I really can't even imagine being able to do so in my current situation. I don't want to even begin to let my parents in on this, so I can't do it at home. And since I work with colleagues of my parents, I can't do it at work either. Finally, since this is not such a big town I live in, I can't even go out places without expecting to encounter someone I regularly deal with. Basically I feel like in order to do something like express my little side in public, I would need to move far away, basically losing all contact with my family and friends. Which is not something I consider worth sacrificing.


    How did you go from hiding it to being so open? How do you make the transition from only wearing in privacy to 24/7? How do you avoid losing your family, or your friends?
    Of course it isn't about wanting to put your fetish in other people's face, it is about being able to feel free to be yourself. I love to wear a lion king t-shirt in public but that doesn't mean I'm sexual rise from it. It really is a shame how difficult it is in society to expose your true self to those around you. I'm really sorry that you are in this situation, it is a really difficult one.

    So, if you do decide that you need to get out of your family's house, couldn't you consider moving 'far enough' away? I don't think you need to be as far as you are acting like it would be. Moving away doesn't mean you will disconnect entirely from your family, it just means that you will associate with them less often. Anyway, that is a problem that hopefully you don't have to approach.

    I would suggest doing small things. As long as it is within the realm of things people would not be surprised seeing from you than it will be easy, but that isn't likely I am sure. My suggestion is try getting some t-shirts that fit the character that you want. I went to zazzle.com and found that they made simba and nala cub t-shirts and bought two. After wearing them I think people were surprised at first, but then they got used to it. The best part was the amount of complements and attention I got from girls when I wore it It was fun. Too bad I am really awful at taking advantage of those situations :P You can also do things like use baby lotion for your hands, sometimes the sent makes me feel happier when I go out. Also, wearing a diaper or a pullup under your clothes isn't really that difficult to get away with. People don't ever notice it. Just don't use it if you are not certain that you will have time to change soon.

    So, from hiding to being so open? Ugh, that is a long story, and I'm not happy with some of the results. It got rid of my depression, but i'm still sad because my parents relationship with me is permanently damaged. I personally can't trust them with my thoughts and feelings. Everyone important to me that I have told has been very accepting of my little side, but my parents can't handle it. I remember before I told anyone, thinking that If i was going to live this life style, i would have to run off and start a whole new life, It hasn't turned out that way, not entirely. Everyone has still stayed with me, but we understand each other differently.
    The first person I told was my best friend. I knew he didn't have any reason to hear it, but I had to talk to somebody about it. I had planned on talking to my parents about it, because I wanted to have less stress about trying to mask all of my attempts to get some adult baby time. When I told my friend, he thought it was kinda funny, and perfectly fine that I was an adult baby. After that it made talking about it quite a bit easier, up until I told my parents, at which point they didn't understand it very well and my mom couldn't believe that I actually wanted to live this way. After living with them and having lots of drama, I moved out, and had to tell another friend about it, because I wanted to make sure he wouldn't be bothered about it with me moving in. He didn't care at all. It seems to me that people of the younger generation have an easier time accepting it. Anyway, I eventually came around to telling another friend, then my sister, then my other sister, and some people in between. Most of this has been in attempt to provide context into the things in my life that I need to talk to people about like dating (how stressful it is to find somebody who accepts my little side).
    Now I'm at a point where I wear diapers almost 24/7, and most of the people who are important to me know about it, others don't have a clue. My room is super childish, and I feel much more free. I feel like a person's room is their place where they should be comfortable, so my room has lots of lions and tigers and some paci's and my diapers in a corner. It is nice, but it took a lot of work to get to this point, and some feelings were hurt along the way. It is my actions that hurt those feelings, but not my fault that they were hurt, I have to remember that it was misguided offence.
    If you can find a way to take care of those urges without revealing too much to your parents, you might be safer that way, but if you have to open up and people go ape shit crazy on you, remember that it isn't your fault that you have these urges and they should not be mad at you for wanting to live the way you naturally are. Also remember that it is society who is to blame for their dismay, so try to forgive them.

    One thing that might be useful. What is your parents opinion on homosexuality, and concerns that accompany that subject? It is my personal suspicion that people who react better to things like homosexuality, will probably just as easily accept AB/DL's.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    Of course it isn't about wanting to put your fetish in other people's face, it is about being able to feel free to be yourself. I love to wear a lion king t-shirt in public but that doesn't mean I'm sexual rise from it. It really is a shame how difficult it is in society to expose your true self to those around you. I'm really sorry that you are in this situation, it is a really difficult one.

    So, if you do decide that you need to get out of your family's house, couldn't you consider moving 'far enough' away? I don't think you need to be as far as you are acting like it would be. Moving away doesn't mean you will disconnect entirely from your family, it just means that you will associate with them less often. Anyway, that is a problem that hopefully you don't have to approach.

    I would suggest doing small things. As long as it is within the realm of things people would not be surprised seeing from you than it will be easy, but that isn't likely I am sure. My suggestion is try getting some t-shirts that fit the character that you want. I went to zazzle.com and found that they made simba and nala cub t-shirts and bought two. After wearing them I think people were surprised at first, but then they got used to it. The best part was the amount of complements and attention I got from girls when I wore it It was fun. Too bad I am really awful at taking advantage of those situations :P You can also do things like use baby lotion for your hands, sometimes the sent makes me feel happier when I go out. Also, wearing a diaper or a pullup under your clothes isn't really that difficult to get away with. People don't ever notice it. Just don't use it if you are not certain that you will have time to change soon.

    So, from hiding to being so open? Ugh, that is a long story, and I'm not happy with some of the results. It got rid of my depression, but i'm still sad because my parents relationship with me is permanently damaged. I personally can't trust them with my thoughts and feelings. Everyone important to me that I have told has been very accepting of my little side, but my parents can't handle it. I remember before I told anyone, thinking that If i was going to live this life style, i would have to run off and start a whole new life, It hasn't turned out that way, not entirely. Everyone has still stayed with me, but we understand each other differently.
    The first person I told was my best friend. I knew he didn't have any reason to hear it, but I had to talk to somebody about it. I had planned on talking to my parents about it, because I wanted to have less stress about trying to mask all of my attempts to get some adult baby time. When I told my friend, he thought it was kinda funny, and perfectly fine that I was an adult baby. After that it made talking about it quite a bit easier, up until I told my parents, at which point they didn't understand it very well and my mom couldn't believe that I actually wanted to live this way. After living with them and having lots of drama, I moved out, and had to tell another friend about it, because I wanted to make sure he wouldn't be bothered about it with me moving in. He didn't care at all. It seems to me that people of the younger generation have an easier time accepting it. Anyway, I eventually came around to telling another friend, then my sister, then my other sister, and some people in between. Most of this has been in attempt to provide context into the things in my life that I need to talk to people about like dating (how stressful it is to find somebody who accepts my little side).
    Now I'm at a point where I wear diapers almost 24/7, and most of the people who are important to me know about it, others don't have a clue. My room is super childish, and I feel much more free. I feel like a person's room is their place where they should be comfortable, so my room has lots of lions and tigers and some paci's and my diapers in a corner. It is nice, but it took a lot of work to get to this point, and some feelings were hurt along the way. It is my actions that hurt those feelings, but not my fault that they were hurt, I have to remember that it was misguided offence.
    If you can find a way to take care of those urges without revealing too much to your parents, you might be safer that way, but if you have to open up and people go ape shit crazy on you, remember that it isn't your fault that you have these urges and they should not be mad at you for wanting to live the way you naturally are. Also remember that it is society who is to blame for their dismay, so try to forgive them.

    One thing that might be useful. What is your parents opinion on homosexuality, and concerns that accompany that subject? It is my personal suspicion that people who react better to things like homosexuality, will probably just as easily accept AB/DL's.
    Thanks for your long reply, Tyger! I appreciate you taking the time.

    I suppose starting with baby steps (hee) like clothing choices would be the best starting spot. I just rarely buy clothes in general, so that's new territory for me.

    As far as wearing and nobody noticing, I really can't believe that extra bulk and crinkle could go entirely unnoticed. Maybe pullups or goodnites would slip by, but I don't really have an interest in wearing those since they are so small, and less comfortable.

    My main worry at this point is not being able to live the way I want while I'm still relatively young. I feel like it would be such a waste if it took me until almost my 30's.

    As far as my parents accepting homosexuality, I think it differs. My dad probably has a more negative opinion than my mom. But I really don't want to involve them anyway, that would just feel wierd.

  5. #5

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    Hi YoungBlood,

    I'm not a person that has made this into an open lifestyle, and I thought I would give you my perspective on it. The main reason that I don't make this a more public thing is that I am a lawyer, which is a particularly conservative profession in some aspects. So out of an abundance of caution, I would prefer that most people do not know about the fact that I wear diapers sometimes.

    However, there are other aspects floating around the ABDL lifestyle that are much easier for people to accept and are relatively unremarkable, even though we might freak out about them in our own minds. For example, I have several plushies and I brought one with me the last time I traveled to visit my parents. I'm sure my mother noticed it, as I left it sitting right on the bed during the day, but she considered it relatively unremarkable and has never commented on it. Lots of people sleep with plush toys, it's not really very strange. I'm also a big fan of My Little Pony and have several t-shirts with their designs on it. I wear those all the time, around friends, family, strangers etc. I've never had anyone judge me for that and a few people even commented on it and thought it was cute. I've also got some ties with animal designs and Looney Tunes, which I've worn to work from time to time and received several complements from coworkers.

    I have also worn diapers out a few times under my pants. This I choose not to do with family or friends that I see regularly, as I do worry about the off chance of somebody noticing and having to explain it. But for something like taking a jog in the neighborhood or going downstairs to do some laundry in my apartment building, I've done it several times. Either nobody has ever noticed, or they did not care to comment and both are fine by me. Many of the high quality non-ABDL diapers are very quiet anyway, and the cloth-backed ones don't crinkle, so it's very unlikely that people will notice either a bulge or sounds from you wearing a diaper under your regular clothes.

    So, sharing all of that is to say that I think there are ways to expand your ABDL activities in ways that might satisfy you without having to force a confrontation with your friends and family if you don't want to have one. I'd also suggest that you don't need to run far away to get some private space. I have family (not my parents though) living within a 10 minute walk of my place, but I can count on one hand the number of times they've visited my apartment, as I don't host parties.

    As far as your last comment, worrying about being able to live the way you want, I think that's a fair point. But wanting things while you're still young doesn't mean you need to rashly dive headfirst into completely changing your life. Make a few of the changes, liking clothing or getting childish things for yourself and see how it makes you feel and if anybody in your social group has a reaction to it all. If you have someone to confide in that you trust, talk to them about it privately and see what they say. If you really feel strongly about wanting more after all that, you'll still have plenty of time, but you may also find that a few things can satisfy you without having to flip your whole lifestyle around right away.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by HeyYoungBlood View Post
    Thanks for your long reply, Tyger! I appreciate you taking the time.

    I suppose starting with baby steps (hee) like clothing choices would be the best starting spot. I just rarely buy clothes in general, so that's new territory for me.

    As far as wearing and nobody noticing, I really can't believe that extra bulk and crinkle could go entirely unnoticed. Maybe pullups or goodnites would slip by, but I don't really have an interest in wearing those since they are so small, and less comfortable.

    My main worry at this point is not being able to live the way I want while I'm still relatively young. I feel like it would be such a waste if it took me until almost my 30's.

    As far as my parents accepting homosexuality, I think it differs. My dad probably has a more negative opinion than my mom. But I really don't want to involve them anyway, that would just feel wierd.
    So something you might consider is a cloth all in one diaper, or pull-up style. That way you can wear a diaper but not have the crinkle. You will have to be choosy on when you wear it, as well as you will have to wash it. I like to buy mine from dependeco cloth diapers. It's a suggestion anyway.

    I agree though, you need to find a way to live what makes you happy before you get too old, I remember feeling that same way, the idea that I had to struggle my way through till I could afford to be happy was just lousy. It may come down to you finding a way to move out, but I wouldn't suggest moving far away, just somewhere that is cheap and you can have your own room. That has worked out pretty well for me. If you find some room mates, they will likely not care about your fetish if you have to tell them, most younger people don't.

  7. #7

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    As someone who lives with ABDL room mates I can tell you that not hiding all the time is awesome but being totally open all the time with everyone is too much for 99% of us. For now focus on moving out and gaining some independence. Once you are out of your parents house being an ABDL gets so much easier. Being able to sit on the couch and watch TV in just a diaper is a huge step up from hiding in your room.

  8. #8

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    Wearing diapers in public can seem terrifying. The honest truth is that you can wear premium brands in public. I wear Bambinos, Abena, Dry 24/7 in public all the time. It's more of a mental block than anything. Wearing a form fitting onesie helps. I also wear some form fitting underwear over as well. You can get those at Wal-Mart. They are Starter brand and keep things in place, control the bulk and sag and help silence the crinkling in public. Also wearing relax fitting clothes will help as well. As far as the clothing goes, you can easily find childish clothing everywhere. It's somewhat a fad these days. Many people see it as out going. You are just cautious about this because you think it might lead people to your deeper reasons. I wear some childish clothing in public and no one really remarks badly about it at all. No one really cares about a person's choice of fashion. Though there are borders that can be crossed, you should know your limits.

  9. #9

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    I think part of this ABDL thing is only going as far as you feel comfortable with. I mean, the point is to enjoy ourselves. Once you get older, have your own place the stress of hiding it becomes a lot less significant.

  10. #10

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    Since I am disabled my mom still helps with managing finical stuff. So I find its easier to buy plain t-shirts and decorate them how I want fabric markers are great. it is much cheaper than buying kid-styles in adult sizes and nothing too odd shows up on the credit card.

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