As the title says, I was sexually abused as a child by a caretaker; the abuse took place in the bath tub and involved fondling. I've never come out in the open with this, and I hope that my recounting my experience, I can help another in his/her own search for acceptance and self-love.
The abuse never left any sort of lasting psychological imprint, but was probably the catalyst towards my own AB/DL/BDSM fetishes growing up.
Looking back, if I could find my abuser, I would probably end up doing something I would very much regret...
If nothing else, it led to my fascination with diapers/age play, and contributed to my own attempts at repression and trying to "fix" myself.
I came to see myself as broken and a "freak," I was always wondering why it was that I could never get aroused by traditional pornography, I even pondered that I might be a homosexual (that turned out to be true, and I have been with the most loving man on the planet for about 1.5 years).
Although the abuse didn't scar me in any "visible," obvious manner, it did leave me with a fetish that I many times wished I could be rid of; I have cried to my boyfriend over it, and he agrees that I have been harmed by the abuse.
I have since gained a greater love for myself and a greater acceptance toward diversity and liberalism. Though it did harm me, I believe it also made me a stronger, freer, more open individual; if only in that it allowed me to come to a place of self-acceptance and self-love, and allowed me to reach a point where I saw my own demons and knew that I wasn't the only one fighting.
I hope this helps somebody come to terms with their own demons. And let me tell you. IT GETS BETTER. Time truly does heal all wounds.
P.S. If anybody reading this could provide some input/reassurance, feedback, etc, it would be greatly appreciated.