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Thread: But what if we're all wrong?

  1. #1

    Default But what if we're all wrong?

    Someone posted this as a response to an AB video on YouTube:



    This may be a coping mechanism for people with mental disabilities or have had trauma in their lifes, but there are so many other non-frowned upon ways to treat those (I'm not saying I'm an expert on mental rehabilitation) but dogs and arts and crafts makes people feel a lot less isolated from society and are much healthier. The reason so many people are into this fetish is all do to internet fetish communities full of people saying its okay to act like an infant instead of people fixing there problems with therapy and support from people that can help them, and unfortunately a lot of people find the internet before therapy.
    I've struggled with mental issues all my life. About 5 years ago I had an anxiety related attack so bad that I called 911 and went to the hospital. The Dr. there misdiagnosed me as schizophrenic, which every doctor afterwards has assured me that I'm not, and put me on the wrong medicine, which caused me to stop eating, sleep for over 16 hours a day, and stay in the psych ward for an entire month. I had come to the conclusion that I'd never get out and had almost given up on life entirely.

    My family's told me that I've become "mean" and "unapproachable" since leaving. Before entering, I was so convinced that the worse part of my mental issues was behind me and that I could continue life without being on medicine all the time like I was as an actual child from 7 years old.

    I've been on medication for OCD since leaving the hospital and I just hate myself for it, hate that I'm too weak-minded to fight against the negativity in my mind any more and need pills to soften the blows.

    The thing is, last year in college I fell into depression again and basically holed up in my room doing nothing. I've been doing the same thing for the past month or two since I haven't had school or a job for about a month and a half. My mood's gone low again.

    I'm wondering if I'm making myself worse by indulging in my AB/DL side, just like I make things worse when I indulge my laziness and stay on the internet all day. Like what if we're all wrong? What if we're just making things worse by escaping from problems and pretending they don't exist? What if this is like a really unhealthy delusion?

  2. #2

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    This is actually something for you to reflect on. Naturally if this is having a negative affect on you...ie: taking up too much time, then it could be unhealthy. On the other hand, if you are having some happy positive times in between, then maybe it is helping. It really must be a balance. Of course you can't just disappear into it all the time.

    If it does feel right but is happening too often, maybe you need to plan to put it away sometimes. Try to plan some practical activities....something small even that is achievable in a short time, something that makes you feel positive. That could be as simple as cleaning something, or rearranging something. Just don't get too ambitious at first or you may become overwhelmed and end up feeling more depressed.
    Oh, and think of a healthy way to reward yourself (only after you've achieved something, of course)

    Good luck.

  3. #3

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    Anything you get caught up in that keeps you from doing what you should be doing can be a problem. Diapers and baby stuff can be one of those things. In the great scheme of things, I'd call it neutral. Not harmful, but not really positive either.

    Fighting against doing something usually doesn't work. You need to focus on finding a positive thing to take its place as a target for your OCD. Work, study, exercise are general categories of positive things to obsess over. Ozbub's suggestion to choose a specific goal, and lay out a plan of small, discrete steps to achieve it is a good one.

  4. #4

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    I use my diaper time more as a reward than as a go to when I am down. I wear all the time, but do not use for anything when I am upset or feeling sorry for myself. Also I am not very AB so I do not feel that I am escaping my problems. Like last night was the first time in a couple months I used my bottle. I just drank some water while falling asleep. I do use the pacifier every few days, but not very long due to not going for an adult one yet. So like last night I slept like a baby instead of sitting up worrying about my husband that was out of town.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by FeekaDimension View Post
    Someone posted this as a response to an AB video on YouTube:



    I've struggled with mental issues all my life. About 5 years ago I had an anxiety related attack so bad that I called 911 and went to the hospital. The Dr. there misdiagnosed me as schizophrenic, which every doctor afterwards has assured me that I'm not, and put me on the wrong medicine, which caused me to stop eating, sleep for over 16 hours a day, and stay in the psych ward for an entire month. I had come to the conclusion that I'd never get out and had almost given up on life entirely.

    My family's told me that I've become "mean" and "unapproachable" since leaving. Before entering, I was so convinced that the worse part of my mental issues was behind me and that I could continue life without being on medicine all the time like I was as an actual child from 7 years old.

    I've been on medication for OCD since leaving the hospital and I just hate myself for it, hate that I'm too weak-minded to fight against the negativity in my mind any more and need pills to soften the blows.

    The thing is, last year in college I fell into depression again and basically holed up in my room doing nothing. I've been doing the same thing for the past month or two since I haven't had school or a job for about a month and a half. My mood's gone low again.

    I'm wondering if I'm making myself worse by indulging in my AB/DL side, just like I make things worse when I indulge my laziness and stay on the internet all day. Like what if we're all wrong? What if we're just making things worse by escaping from problems and pretending they don't exist? What if this is like a really unhealthy delusion?

    Alright here's something for you to think about regarding this. Is it your fault that you regress for therapeutic reasons? I don't think so. Is it your fault that you happen to have OCD? I don't think so. Is it your fault for being human? as if something is wrong with being that? I think we both know the answer to that question now don't we?

    I will most likely never see my mother again in this lifetime because I myself am allegedly unapproachable. It is not your fault for being this way. The only way this is going to be resolved for you I think is that you know that your doing nothing wrong and to forgive yourself. You are a human being and no one here expects anyone of us to be perfect. If you need more advice by all means PM me or post here and ask any questions you may have.
    Last edited by giantguy99; 20-Aug-2014 at 02:13.

  6. #6

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    I think the proof is generally in the pudding. People who accept this in themselves are generally happier and have a better time managing the hurdles they encounter. That doesn't mean that all ways of accepting are equally helpful or effective or that it's going to be the best thing for everyone. My ABDL instincts, for lack of a better phrase seem to work out pretty well most of the time but if they were leading to problems, I'd have to take some active steps to adjust my approach to continue functioning well in society.

  7. #7

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    Anything that helps you get through the rough spots in life is OK by me, as long as it is not self-harming or Illegal, to a point. Let's face it, everyone has their "vices" to help them cope, and diapers are a far better method then almost all the ones adults use to get thru the crap that is included in life, we all have it! I wear for need, but I also really enjoy them now, where-as before when I became IC,, I hated them, but knew they were a necessary piece of apparel to get through the night with, then the day. I look back at the homelife I had, and KNOW if I had been using diapers then, it would have been much better for me as far as coping with the hell I lived in for 15 years. Don't feel guilty in the least if you wear for regression and coping, this is a far better way to manage stress then ANY pill out there as far as I am concerned, but I am also not a doctor, and thankful for that! Get up and go outside, there is an entire beautiful world out there waiting for your arrival, even if you have a diaper on (that makes it better anyhow!)

  8. #8

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    You're asking a good question, which every ABDL should ask themselves. The answer is different for all of us, I think.

    You've asked if indulging your ABDL side is just making things worse. It's possible to substitute in video games, TV, food, sex...any of these things can be inappropriate coping mechanisms for difficult times. But that doesn't mean we should avoid these things. The real question is: is what you're doing making things better, or worse?

    As an example, video games can be a great way to unwind after a stressful day. They can also be a way of avoiding reality and not following through on expectations. One use is healthy, the other isn't. It entirely depends on how much you're doing it, and why. Same thing with ABDL. Regressing and diaper wearing can be very emotionally comforting and healing, but it can also be a way of avoiding problems that really should be dealt with.

    When you ask "What if we're all wrong?", it's a question we need to all ask ourselves individually, because it'll be different for all of us. Sort of like asking "What if we're playing video games too much?" It'll be a different answer for all of us. It all depends on how much, and why, we're doing what we do.

    It's not a bad question to ask; we all need to think about our ABDL practices and make sure they're healthy. But it's a question that'll have a different answer for all of us, and only you and those close to you can really answer it.

    If you need help answering that question for yourself, I'm willing to help, and I bet other are too. In the end, the answer will be different for you than for others.

    Also, if you're seeing someone about your depression and OCD, maybe they'd have some insights as to your ABDL and whether it's helping you or not. Whether this is a good idea or not depends on the individual therapist, but if they're open to the idea of kinks/alternative lifestyles, they may be able to help you out a bit. It's your call though.

  9. #9

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    I see AB/DL the same as how some people like to drink or do drugs to cope or read to cope or play video games to cope or watching TV. Anything can be bad if it takes over and impacts your life. When my mom was depressed, all she wanted to do was read, not do anything with my dad or go somewhere. But what did she do about it? She got on some meds for it. She loves to read but her depression made her be into it more. When my brother was depressed, all he wanted to do was play video games and he got on meds for it. If being AB is impacting your life, then therapy is a must and you must fix whatever is making you do it more and you aren't able to put it aside like most AB/DLs do.

    I can understand the pill part. Having to take them makes me feel I am weak and a failure and lazy. As a child I felt broken and that I had something wrong with me and I needed to be fixed. I hear it's a tough decision for parents to make rather their kid should be on medication or not. Plus pills are expensive and my insurance won't cover them and I don't have Plan D and got denied it when I signed up for it. I shall try again now that my husband is disabled so our income has changed. So I am not on any right now and haven't taken any for my brain since 2009. The reason I stopped was because I was planning on getting pregnant and then I was breastfeeding and I felt fine without them so I never went on them again.

  10. #10

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    I can't believe you would give that comment anymore than a passing thought. He admits to being a layperson who has no expertise in therapy or rehabilitation. There's a reason most pyschologists don't treat AB or infantilism and see them as acceptable coping mechanisms, because it doesn't harm the patient and works. Then there's also the fact that for some of us, I don't know how many, infantilism/AB has nothing to do with coping or dealing with major mental health issues. It baffles people that someone can simply like something so strange that they NEED to believe there's some sort of psychosis or pathology underneath. But it isn't because of the AB, its because the non-AB person is so uncomfortable with it, their immediate attempt to remedy that is to rationalize by saying that the AB has some mental disorder. Which means you can cure the disorder or address it with psychotropic drugs, and cure the infantilism, ridding the "problem" of AB. It has nothing to do with patient health, it has to do with personal comfort of the vanilla people.

    BTW OP could you link the video, or at least PM me? I need to enlighten that individual with some actual psychology training and experience in the clinic.

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