Hello! My name is Alyssa. I'm still relatively new to the whole A(T)B/DL community, though I've been wearing diapers for nearly 8 months since "discovering" my fetish. I'm 21 years old, play a lot of video games when not working (I've been obsessed with TF2 again lately). I've known I was a lesbian since puberty, but only came out when I was 16.. but that's another story. I'm currently in a relationship with my beautiful girlfriend, Rebecca. We're both diaper lovers, though I'm more of an AB myself.. Though, that's how my LONG story begins.
Let's start before I "discovered" my diaper fetish... I guess I've always been somewhat interested in diapers, but was in a sort of "eww, that's weird" denial. I've always loved my footed sleeper, and I've slept with my stuffed wolf for years... Anyway.. I'd often come across diaper content while browsing various furry art sites. I'd have an almost morbid curiosity about it all. I sought to know more about this diaper fetish, while still retaining the skewed vision of how odd it was. I found myself searching different websites, idly browsing their contents before shortly feeling weird about myself. I dismissed it and forgot about it. Shutting out these feelings out of fear of being judged. Knowing that not all secrets can be kept forever, much like my sexuality at a younger age.
I went on with life, actively avoiding diaper related things. Even as much as saying the word "diaper" made me feel weird. I worked several jobs, met new people, kept old friends, lost a few friends, and just lived my life without thinking much about the future. Among my friends were my 4 best friends that I hung out with on nearly a daily basis. Alan, he was sort of the "ring leader" of our little group. If we hung out, it was always at Alan's house. We did the usual smoking weed and playing video games. I know it's illegal, but we were all smart enough to know that it was a hell of a lot less harmful that legal things like drinking. I won't ramble on about how marijuana does more good than bad, but the research is there.. but I digress... Then there was Mike. Hardest damn worker I've ever met. There was nothing he wouldn't do for his friends and family. A true friend in every aspect of the word. His girlfriend, Jess. She was much like myself, though a lot more quiet. She plays about as much games as I do, and coincidentally, we found out we even played on the same server in World of Warcraft.. Lastly, there was my long time best friend, Becky. We've been friends since around 3rd grade. Inseparable to the very end. She was the responsible brainy aspect to my irresponsible overly fun loving aspect. We even still joke about that to this day. I often say she's like the Twilight Sparkle to my Pinkie Pie.
I've always had feelings for Becky. More than just as a friend, but I didn't think she felt the same way. She had a boyfriend in middle-school, but like all middle-school relationships, it ended within a few weeks. Years went on with us just being friends, hanging out every single chance we got. Getting excited over being in the same class.. the normal best friend things.
Here's where the story takes a big turn. We're both young adults now. She's been working at the same convenience store for a few years now, and moved up to assistant manager. She makes a livable salary, and has a place of her own. I, on the other hand, recently lost my job due to my own laziness and selfishness. Long story short, I messed up one too many times. Living with my stepdad after my mom and him got divorced, things weren't going good my way. One day, like any other day, she asked if I want her to pick me up so we can hang out at her house. I of course, agree and within 15 minutes, were on our way. Normal car ride, we stop at her store to pick up some snacks. We get to her house and start watching a movie. We decided on watching How to Train Your Dragon for the millionth time. After the movie we just started watching TV and enjoying our super healthy snack of an entire bag of Doritos. We start talking for a while and we somehow got onto the subject of kinks. I admitted my odd thing for knee socks, and when asked what her kink was, she hesitated.
She simply started with the rather cliche "You're gonna think I'm weird, let's just change the subject." Peeking my interest now, I started to badger her to tell me. She finally agreed to tell me. Red as a tomato, on the verge of tears, she admitted that she liked to wear diapers. "Ever since I can remember, I've liked them. I don't know why, and I don't care to know why. I've just accepted and embarrassed it." Wanting to know more, we continued on the subject. She told me that she's been wearing diapers since she lived with her parents. One thing led to another and she showed me her stash. I've never seen so many diapers, not even in a baby's nursery. I really didn't know what to say. I've known her for the majority of my life and have been to her current house more times than I can count. Never did I expect this.
"I guess you think I'm a freak now." I reassured her. I told her that nothing would change my opinion on her as a friend. Curious, I told her if she wanted to wear one, I promised not to laugh. She agreed, and I left her to put one on. She later came back to the living room, wearing what she was wearing before. Though, with a rather noticeable rustle from the plastic backing. Still asking loads of questions, she eventually asked if I wanted to try one. I refused at first, but after a lot of convincing and a fair amount of pleading, I agreed to try one.
Not knowing anything about them other than the basics, I agreed to let her put the diaper on me, instead of messing it up by myself. Embarrassed, she agreed to wait outside her room until I covered myself with it, and she would just tape it up. After the deed was done, I couldn't believe it. I was in heaven. I walked around a fair bit, loving the new thick padded material I was wearing. More embarrassed than ever before, I admitted to her that I liked it. No, loved it. We went on the rest of that day until I needed to go home. I took off my still dry diaper and threw it in the trash like I was told. Unannounced to me, Becky had a little surprise for me in my laptop bag that I would later discover at home.
Our friendship was now stronger than ever, and a new bond was formed. I discovered something new about myself that day. Something that I tried to hide from myself in the past. My feelings for Becky only increased ten-fold though, and I couldn't help but feel more alone than ever. Going into my laptop bag to get my laptop and charger out to further research my new-found fetish.. I find something unexpected. A diaper and a note that read "I thought you might miss the feeling tonight" and a heart drawn on it. I try to find the diaper online to find the brand and find out it's a Bambino Classico. I hopped on Facebook to thank Becky for the surprise, but she was offline at the time.
I put on my gift, and to my surprise, didn't do that bad of a job. I then sit at my desk in my footed sleeper that I've always worn, but this time, with some extra padding beneath it. I spent hours researching the topic, and told my best "internet friend" from the Netherlands about my new thing. He reassured me that I was not weird, and told me that his opinion on me hadn't changed. We talked about it for a bit while I continued my expedition into the AB/DL world.
The next day, I woke up, wondering if it was just a dream. I wiggled my butt and was greeted by the expected crinkling of my diaper. I have never slept well, but that night, I had the best sleep of my life. I text Becky when I woke up to tell her that I 'slept like a baby' and I could just feel her rolling her eyes at my pun. She asked if it was okay to come over after she got off of work, and I agreed, knowing my stepdad would just be in the garage like he always ways. Luckily, by the time she got over, he was already gone for his Thursday Pool(Billiards) match. Becky walked in and was greeted by me wearing only a t-shirt and the diaper she stashed in my bag. She smiled and gave me a big hug. We then headed over to her house so she could enjoy a diaper as well. On the way to her house, I finally reached my bursting point. I was waiting to use the bathroom at her place so I could just change into a new diaper. I didn't want to wet my diaper, because I thought it was too gross. Not wanting to hold it any longer, I reluctantly used my diaper for the first time. I went.. a lot. Red in the face, and not saying a word, Becky knew exactly what was happening. I admitted it, and she told me that she does it all the time. "After-all, they're diapers. They're not absorbent for no reason."
I.. loved it. The warmth. The helpless feeling. Everything. Fortunately, I did not leak. Being a rather small 5 foot 4 helped, I suppose. Not only that, I was wearing a pretty good diaper. We got into her house after my little "accident" and she asked if I wanted to change. I obviously said yes. She stopped me before I went into her room alone to get ready. She paused for a moment, then asked if she could change me. Having feelings for her, I agreed. She got the wipes, powder, and a changing mat out of her secret stash and laid it on the bed. Things went as expected, I was somewhat embarrassed. During the change, she told me something that left me completely speechless.
She admitted her feelings towards me. She admitted everything. How she was afraid to come out because she feared what her father would say. Still speechless, I was just in awe of everything. The girl I loved since I knew of my identity just came out to me. We both remained quiet as she finished putting on my new diaper. Like an explosion of emotion, I told her that I've always loved her. All my bottled up feelings towards her came rushing out at once like an involuntary spasm of pure bliss. After I was done, she smiled and kissed me. I was paralyzed in her grasp. For the first time in my life, I felt I have finally found love. I held her tight as we kissed. Two lovers, separated by the guise of normality, found each other through the unlikely means of diapers. We spent the rest of the day in her living room, snuggled up under a blanket, watching TV.
Fast-forward to now, and I have sadly moved over an hour away to my father's house. Things weren't going well between my stepdad and I. It was best that I moved here, though I didn't want to. My dad and I didn't have the best relationship, but we've since patched things up. I won't go into detail, I don't want pity. Becky and I still talk every single day, and she comes up as much as our work schedules allow. Just last Friday she spent the night. The all day Saturday we went to her house for some much needed.. err "alone time."
Due to another divorce in my life, losing essentially all of my friends, living with my bigoted, hateful father, rarely talking to my mother, and just the general stress of life, I have started wetting the bed a few months ago. It started out rather bad, it was a nightly thing. Since, it hasn't been happening every night. I'll have 2-3 dry nights a week. I wear diapers to bed every single night. My dad and stepmom know about the diapers. That's a rather long story I'll save for another day. It stems from my mom finding out, and telling my dad.
All and all, diapers are more than just a fetish for me. They've shaped my life into what it is today. They've brought my best friend closer to me and have gotten us together. Without diapers, I would be severely lonely and depressed. I have no friends in this new area as of the time of writing this. I am a 21 year old, bed wetting, adult baby, furry, Brony (or Pegasister if you must), and a lesbian. Who knows what the future holds for anybody. Fate is not set in stone. Fate is like a clay that is molded by your actions and experiences. Never let doubt stop you from doing something. Doubt is the kiln that hardens the clay of fate. Ask that special someone out. Try that new thing, no matter how weird it is to the "normal." Live your life the way you want, though stay within the confines of morality.
Anyway, that is my story on how I came to be a AB/DL, and how diapers have truly changed my life.