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Thread: Leaving to college

  1. #1

    Default Leaving to college

    Well I'm finally off to that school in New York in two weeks. Sorry I haven't been on here much, been super busy and staying under the radar.

    I'm somewhat scared, and somewhat excited. I don't wanna leave my friends and my lifestyle here (California, the beach, cars, food, useless high end goods, ect) but at the same time I know I must, and that I really wanna go to this new school where they thought I was cool and it was in the country and theres only 150 students in the whole thing and it is peaceful. I guess I'm just stuck between two worlds, wishing I could have both but knowing I must do what is necessary and choose. The tickets are bought, transportation reservations and everything else is ready, except me.

    What were your experiences going awy to college? How did you cope with meeting new friends and having to leave old ones and your home?

  2. #2

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    There probably will always be feelings of anxiety, or at least feeling anxious when you have this kind of life change. I may not be the best one to respond because I went off to college in 1966, and somethings have changed. Human nature probably has not however. I also went to a school that was only an hour drive away from home, but somethings still apply.

    When I graduated from high school, I was ready to leave high school behind me. I had gotten tired of its limitations. I wanted to be a performing musician, and the music conservatory I attended provided so many incredible opportunities.

    What happens is that you change dramatically. Your friends from high school will also change, and everyone tends to go in their own separate directions. It's a natural progression. It's always hard to leave your past, having to face a changing lifestyle, but it's also exciting. I quickly made new friends at school, one I started sleeping with in a few weeks of school. So much gets suddenly thrown at you, and the great adventure begins. If you embrace the change, you should do well. You should watch the old movie, "American Graffiti", a good coming of age movie. Like I said, we all go through this.

  3. #3

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    I couldn't wait to leave home. I was going to a place where there was snow! The kids I went to school with had known me all my life and whatever reputation I had made me an outcast and a loner. I had the chance to start anew! But it was scary as I knew nobody. Within a month I had some really good friends but I got really sick and there was a lack of medical attention there. I wound up driving home (5 hours) to see my own doctor and get the treatment I needed. I realized then what a good thing I had at home, yet I kept going back to college and eventually got my degree. I loved my university and I loved my home. Nothing wrong with that. I got encouragement and love at home and yet I couldn't wait to back to my freedom at school and do whatever I wanted when I wanted. I think you'll be OK. Everyone is there for the same goal and with a smaller college you're bound to make good, close friends. Good luck and keep us posted if you can!

  4. #4

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    There's numerous pushes and pulls but also anchors. The pushes would be an extreme reluctance to continue going to El Camino, that place sucked and I was getting nowhere. But also there was family life, and my dad, which is also a reason to go, to take a break. The pulls are that it seems like a fun adventure, seeing as how it's not a regular college. It's a Christian college in the middle of nowhere in upstate NY and when I toured it back in April it seemed like heaven to me; everybody thought I was cool and liked me and they were all so nice to each other, and lived so simply. It was like "we don't have much, but we don't need much out here". That struck me so different from out here in LA where it's quite the opposite. Plus my cousin is coming too and he and I are so alike, though I haven't seen him since I was 6 or 7.

    The pulls are mainly my friends and my lifestyle. I love California and the beach and having cars and clothes and my friends available and I know it sounds petty but I was shy and introverted up until like a year ago so now I'm doing all the stuff I dreamed and wished I could do.

    However, I know that I must go. Deep down it feels like everything's been building to this. That this one move will change my life, and nothing will be the same afterwards. My friends at church have confided that my leaving will actually be the catalyst for many big changes in our life group dynamic. I know Iiat go, as I shall, but I hope that I won't forget my friends and keep in touch with them and that they won't forget me. One wants to be my Pentax and of course I agreed to write her. I hope I can bypass their wifi with the TOR browser to come here and stuff, cuz it's got a tough censor. Thank you to all who shared their experiences of this massive life step. I look forward to sharing my progress.

    David

  5. #5

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    so today i finally made it to NY to the school, a day early. ive been feeling this premonition that even though i had planned to return to my normal life after this year away, i have a suspicion that my normal life has ended, and that from here on out nothing is predictable and its all new. its scary but exciting

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterscotch View Post
    so today i finally made it to NY to the school, a day early. ive been feeling this premonition that even though i had planned to return to my normal life after this year away, i have a suspicion that my normal life has ended, and that from here on out nothing is predictable and its all new. its scary but exciting
    My advice is to put your "normal life" out of your mind for now, and work on "college life"! Meet lots of people, make friends, join clubs, and don't forget to work hard too! The first two weeks or so are the most important -- that's when everyone goes out to make friends. People are really open (because they're shy and don't know anyone) and you can talk to anyone.

    The people you meet could turn into lifelong friends, and before you know it, it'll be the end of term and you'll have two lives! Your "old" one to return to for Christmas, and the "new" one to come back to at college. Eventually, when you leave college, you might start out on a new adventure (nothing to worry about -- you'll still be in the driving seat!), and then you can bring in your friends from your "previous lives"!

    It's more than natural to be anxious, but... rise above the anxiety (if you can) and make the most out of the opportunity. Force yourself to socialise as much as possible until you have some good friends "under your belt" (err... you know what I mean!). Realise that everyone else in their first year will be feeling just as shy and apprehensive as you! No matter what happens, try to enjoy the new experiences, rather than worrying too much about the past or future. For this new life in a new place, you have a clean slate! Write neatly!

    So don't look back! Onwards and upwards! And the best of luck to ya!

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny View Post
    My advice is to put your "normal life" out of your mind for now, and work on "college life"! Meet lots of people, make friends, join clubs, and don't forget to work hard too! The first two weeks or so are the most important -- that's when everyone goes out to make friends. People are really open (because they're shy and don't know anyone) and you can talk to anyone.

    The people you meet could turn into lifelong friends, and before you know it, it'll be the end of term and you'll have two lives! Your "old" one to return to for Christmas, and the "new" one to come back to at college. Eventually, when you leave college, you might start out on a new adventure (nothing to worry about -- you'll still be in the driving seat!), and then you can bring in your friends from your "previous lives"!

    It's more than natural to be anxious, but... rise above the anxiety (if you can) and make the most out of the opportunity. Force yourself to socialise as much as possible until you have some good friends "under your belt" (err... you know what I mean!). Realise that everyone else in their first year will be feeling just as shy and apprehensive as you! No matter what happens, try to enjoy the new experiences, rather than worrying too much about the past or future. For this new life in a new place, you have a clean slate! Write neatly!

    So don't look back! Onwards and upwards! And the best of luck to ya!
    i understand that, i just keep rocking back and forth between feeling like "whoa this is an exciting adventure!" to "oh my gosh what was i thinking?" some part of me wants to be there, that wants that freedom and new world exploration. yet at the same time, another part of me wants to preserve the lifestyle that i had of a select group of friends and staying in one place, and that same part now feels like i'm abandoning them simply to run from home to this college and live comfortably for a year (length of program). as some of you may know my life at home was not very peaceful or relaxing when at home, so thats why i feel like that.

    at the same time i understand about having two worlds; i like that idea and it can be fun but i just hope i dont forget my old ones, for i loved them much. perhaps i'm worried about something that will not come to fruition at all. hopefully thats the case. this must be how Haruhi felt on her first day at Ouran academy, or Nagisa at her first day at Miator. hopefully theyll wanna talk to me. my mentor/friend/now pen pal will be writing me letters and she will help guide my social course, so perhaps i wont have to have old and new friends, just a big mix of both

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