...they pull me back in. Yup. Back in diapers after almost a year. I'd been living on my own for quite sometime. Even when money was tight, I'd still manage to keep a substantial supply of diapers and, being that I lived alone, hiding them was never an issue. Well, I decided to come back home and go back to school. Last October, I moved in with my aunt to save on living expenses. I had put it in my head that as long as I'd be living with her, or anyone else for that matter, I'd have to forget about wearing diapers altogether. In a way, I was sort of trying to "kick the habit". Maybe its the guilt instilled from being brought up in such a conservative family, or feeling like the diapers were filling a void from not being in a relationship, but I felt like I had to let them go. Like Ed Wood says in "Glen or Glenda", I thought I could stop wearing these things. I tried. Honest, I tried. But, earlier in the week, I found myself ordering some off xp medical. I don't really have the budget right now, so I thought some sample packs of Tena Slip Maxi and Dry 24/7's wouldn't hurt. Then, immediately, I emailed them and told them to reverse the charges; that I'd made a mistake. I was feeling guilty about spending that much money on something I really don't need, but really want. Then, today my aunt went out of town for the weekend, and I broke down on the way home from work (even left the office early) and I stopped by a pharmacy; they seem to have somewhat better quality than the chain stores. I was just looking for a generic, but when I saw they had Molicare, I just had to have them. They're not even my favorite brand; I've always preferred the aforementioned Tena Slip Maxi, ABU Super Dry Kids and Cushies. So, now I find myself in diapers after almost a year. What a strange coincidence that its SIDF! I hadn't even paid attention to that b/c I hadn't visited this site in all this time. That's how much I wanted to let diapers go. I really thought I could leave behind what I tried telling myself was an addiction, but in truth is a lifelong fetish. I remember loving the feel of diapers far back into my childhood. My mom was nice enough to periodically buy me Huggies, the old-school plain white plastic backing, when I was in elementary. When I couldn't fit into them anymore, she'd buy me adult diapers; that was up until I got into junior high, when she put her foot down and said enough was enough; that I had to grow up. I'd still sneak some of my younger siblings diapers, or buy myself some adult brand when I could; that went through even into college, until the internet made me aware of sites like XP medical or ABU. Admittedly, it's more sexual than anything else, but nevertheless I've always loved wearing them. All this time, the thoughts of how great they feel would creep in and out of my head. I don't know that these feelings will ever go away. But, for now, I'm just enjoying them again after so long. How long have you gone without wearing diapers and why? How did it feel when you finally put them back on? Or, do you not wear them anymore but visit this site for support?