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Thread: Anyone on here work with kids?

  1. #1

    Default Anyone on here work with kids?

    We all know how Littles often get falsely associated with pedophillia. So if you work with kids, you kind of need to keep this weird "adult kid" interest hidden. This is the boat I find myself in. I can't be real specific, but will say that I volunteer to help with "special" kids. My primary reason for getting into this field was to give back to the system, as I was once a "therapy kid" myself. The fact that this position allows me a socially acceptable reason to play with, by, and like kids, is simply a bonus.

    So, does anyone else on here work with actual, honest to goodness kids?

  2. #2


    I did work with kids and still volunteer. I was a teacher for 3 years and left last year due to a number of issues including the fear of false accusations... but that's just a problem with being a male teacher in general. My main reason for leaving though was the lack of support for graduate teachers and the workload causing my depression.

    I've also worked in summer camps in the USA for 4 years.

    For volunteering I've coached children's hockey since I was 17 and umpired it since I was 13. I also volunteer with a youth organisation doing group work with homeless children.

    Now, all these are things even normal men have to be weary of and I don't think it's any better or worse for us. It's extremely disheartening how sexist society is towards males. Best advice is to follow the rules to the letter or even go beyond it. It's horrible to say I've had kids who were hurt and screaming and I found a female to pick them up to carry them to the infirmary because my reputation is more important than them getting their split, bleeding toenail seen to immediately. (Life threatening would be different) As I say to new male teachers, a hug is worth a thousand pictures, a pictures worth a thousand words... so if a kid is hurt... use a million words to help them. Never hug even if you think they need it.

    General rules I follow.
    Rule of 3 - either minimum of 2 kids and 1 adult or 2 adults and 1 kid. (Minimum of 2 adults for non-verbal)
    High fives - Only physical contact I have with a kid.
    Private talks with individual students held in an open area in sight of everyone.
    Report everything! If you accidentally touched a kid on the bum while helping them push a chair in, tell your supervisor. That way it can't be perceived you're trying to hide something.
    Teach protective behaviours! (Skills needed to protect children against abuse done in a non-threatening way) Only if you're trained to though... But still. Something good to look up so you can reinforce the skills with kids.
    Don't make a big deal of not hugging kids. ie, Don't say, "I can't hug you." Just disengage if they hug you and kneel down to talk to them. Also don't make it seem like they can't hug anyway. Let them hug the women staff members. Children need hugs and it's just disappointing that society is that screwed by fear that men can't give children the affection they need or demonstrate that men can nurture too.

    I have taught a special needs class before. You have to take even more precautions if they are non-verbal. And never, ever, agree to change them. Always let a woman do it. If they say "That's unfair" just explain and, unless they're retarded (pun intended) they'll understand and take on that responsibility.

    Finally, good on you for working with kids. It's scary as shit in terms of what I've said but so important for children to see men working with kids.

  3. #3


    I have had several kids give me hugs. One time, a low verbal, moderately autistic kid just came up to me and spontaneously gave me a hug. That meant more to me than any "thank you" I've ever gotten, because I knew how hard it must be for them to express that emotion. But all that having been said, I don't initiate any hugs, for the reasons you listed.

    And you are right about the need for more males to work with kids. One of my favorite elementary school teachers was a guy. And the only therapist I can remember by name from when I was a therapy kid was male.

  4. #4


    I have taught kids in camps and schools for the past almost 15 years. Most of the experiences have been with special needs kids. I honestly think my littl side is what helps to make me a decent teacher because I can literally put things in perspective. Recently I have taken a job working with age 18+ adults. I can play per say like I've done with my classes in the past but we have fun and some of them have noticed that I have child like attributes but they never suspect AB. They just think it's a symptom of working with kids for so long. I am getting more comfortable ith letting others see me as little. I have realized normal people don't jump to adult baby! Thinking. Also, I'm not wearing or diaper or having a paci in font of them. I remain professional, while not being afraid of expressing font memories of having a blanket as a kid, talking about current Japanese animation, or using expression like okie-dokie, then giggling. Not things that are bad but things I kept locked away because I was afraid someone would chastise me or find out.

  5. #5


    Yeah. It's hard when they initiate because you can't just say no and even disengaging has to be done tactfully so they don't feel you're rejecting them. You also don't want to give them the impression that men don't hug or men don't hug kids because you may be the only positive male they know. I get very frustrated by the whole thing. I work very well with challenging children and the spontaneous hugs are really important to them and they've been rejected so much in their lives that you have to be very careful how you disengage or discourage them hugging you. That's when wording the rules "Hands to yourself" can come in... because then it's the rules fault. Argh. So annoying.

    As I said, I work well with challenging kids and spent 2 years of my teaching at a school where you either love the kids or hate them. The kids love you but often throw rocks at you, chairs, hit you, call you a "f***ing white c***" and all that. But they really love you. Once some out of town kids broke into my car when I was inside. I heard the alarm go off and then I hear some kids from my class, "Oi. That's Mr *****'s car! We're gonna f***en smash your head in!" Another time I lost my wallet and some kids returned it with all the money in it. I gave them all the money in my wallet as a reward and did a visit to their nanna's to tell them what they'd done. (Nanna because mum and dad were always drugged up so nanna was the one who really appreciated their morals)

    Ahhh... now I'm all nostalgic.

  6. #6


    I do tech support 30 hrs a week at an elementary school, which is surprisingly necessary. I see the kids there fairly often, and sometimes the principle or one of his assistants will ask me to spend a bit of time doing something that is associated with the kids. I have been a mentor for one, subbed in a lab a few times, and subbed in a class for about 40 min another time. Sometimes the kids will approach me and chitchat a bit. It is pretty fun

  7. #7


    As a church music director, I've worked with kids all my life. When I switched jobs to being a part time director, I got a job as being an assistant to the IT administrator at the junior high where my wife worked as head of special education. Eventually that job was eliminated and I worked the last three or four years as an instructional assistant in math. I've been hugged by plenty of kids and I didn't give it much thought other than like Aidy1 said, one quickly disengages without making the child feel rejected. I agree with all of his rules. I often was asked to teach a class and I was very careful as to what I said and did. Things can quickly blow up in one's face in a classroom setting.

    I too think it's sad that we have to be so reserved but it's because of the few that have taken advantage of children. We had a female teacher at my school do exactly that, and she went to jail. So many of our kids came from fatherless homes that they needed some bonding with male figures. I always tried to be there for them, and no matter what they had to say, I always listened and took seriously what they were saying.

    One of the things that helped me listen to my kids was this site, especially when we had our younger members. Because we were anonymous and sworn to being truthful, our younger members told us older members of their problems and how they felt; how they hurt deep down to their core. I learned a lot from them and realized that the kids in my classes were no different from them. When my kids cried, it was hard for me not to join them. I think all kids are special and deserve the very best we as adults can give them. Teaching at school was a chance for me to give something back to kids who needed some positive encouragement.

  8. #8


    I recently entered into the world of professional childcare and am terrified my secrets could ruin what I want to do career wise.
    To me, little time is a very intimate thing, done privately. I do not view my time with kids as a perk towards that at all. They are completely seperate.

  9. #9


    Quite a few of my jobs that I have had have involved children in some aspect or another. I used to be an activities director at a summer camp and interacted with children ages 6 all the way to 17. For the most part I organized the different activities and would teach the children the rules and how to play the games and I would play the games with them. I also taught classes at the camp, everything from computers, photography, communications, etc. Every summer the staff would be retrained and the most important thing that was always stressed (aside from normal safety) was how to interact with the kids and what rules we should follow in order to make sure that the kids were always safe, both physically and emotionally. We had some of the rules mentioned above, like the rule of 3 (either at least 2 kids and 1 adult or 2 adults and 1 kid), if for some reason we needed to discuss something one-on-one with a kid we supposed to be in an open area where other people could see us. We even had a class called "Youth Protection Training."

    My other main job that I had which dealt directly with interacting with children was my photography jobs. But there was never really any concern about interacting with the children because the parents were required to always be with there child (even if we just photographing the child) and if I needed the child to do something specific like a pose I would instruct the parent on how to get there child to do it.

    I love working with children and at one point almost decided to become a teacher. I completely agree that there is a general stigma about adult males working and interacting with children and I would love for it to change but I feel its apart of the same type of stigma that abdl's get. To society it just doesn't seem natural or the "norm" and thus it most be strange or wrong.

  10. #10


    I'm one of the instructors at a martial arts studio, so I'm around kids all the time when I'm there. They know that I watch My Little pony and some of the kids think that's cool but I always leave my DL side at home. I some times have to babysit my nieces as well.

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