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Thread: A healthy lifestyle

  1. #1

    Default A healthy lifestyle

    I was wondering if I could get y'all perspective on this.
    I have a lot of reasons why abdl isn't really a healthy lifestyle and I struggle to come up with any reasons why it would be healthy. Maybe y'all have insight?

  2. #2


    I think you're going to have to define your terms before you can get a good answer. Are you talking physical health? Mental health? Both? What is your definition of a lifestyle in this sense? I don't call it that, although I can see why some might see their own that way or even mine; it's sort of wobbly.

    I don't see what's particularly physically unhealthy about diapers for myself. Babies and some incontinent people manage with them and I get to pick and choose when I wear. Mentally, I spent a lot of years in self-loathing and denial, and I can say that for me there's no comparison as to which is more mentally healthy. I indulge when I choose and how I choose and not only does it not harm anyone, it can be shared in a positive and loving way with others that I'm involved with. I've met amazing people as a result of this weird kink that I would have never come in contact with otherwise. Does it make relationships more difficult? Absolutely. Lots of things do. It's a mixed bag but I choose to concentrate on the positive.

  3. #3


    You need to elaborate more on the insight before you can get a complete answer buddy ^^

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by Reword View Post
    I was wondering if I could get y'all perspective on this.
    I have a lot of reasons why abdl isn't really a healthy lifestyle and I struggle to come up with any reasons why it would be healthy. Maybe y'all have insight?

    The question has to come form different perspectives.

    1) Political/social.

    Having just come from reading your introduction thread there is obviously many different view and we could go round and round about right and wrong. So this aspect is with out an answer.

    2) Religious/social.

    Again the same is true as the reason above.
    I could even get into the argument of what is the different between sackcloth, loin cloth, diaper, etc.

    It is a piece of cloth for an intended purpose.

    Once you use the diaper then it goes into another real and we could argue the point all day.

    3) Personal preference.

    Again this has a lot of ways to look at it. So let me give it a try (But there again it is personal so my reasons are no one else's reason.)

    a) Socially.
    What I do in my house on my time is my business.
    I do not go outside in diapers and it is just not for me.
    I have and I have decided that it is not for me.

    b) Politically
    No of anyone else's business except the people in my house.

    c) religiously

    I have my beliefs and that is between me and god. (Period)

    d) Health wise.

    Again this needs to be looked at in two ways.

    1) Physical health.

    I really does not have a lot to do with the physical health except in one area and that it urological.

    In one view it has no effect.
    In another view it is beneficial because of on going prostate issues and it helps keep that under control. Again this is between me , my doctor, and my therapist.

    2) Mental health.

    This is the big one and the main issue. all of the rest is semantics in my opinion.

    a) Causing depression and anxiety.
    Before I joined this group I had multiple emotional issues that caused me to have depression spells that where so bad I considered to end my life to just make the pain stop.
    I have gone through 26yrs of mental health counseling to find out all of the reasons for such problem.
    The bottom line comes back to physical issues in as much as I am on the "Autism Spectrum" at the least end of ADHD.
    With the help of my therapist, psychiatrist, and general practitioner we have come up with a solution for dealing with most of the basic issues that cause these problems.

    b) Other issues.

    Once the basic issues were dealt with I was still having issues that perpetrated as a form of Post traumatic stress disorder. I thought I was able to "cure" the Paraphilia Infantilism, by getting married and becoming sexually active in a "normal" way.

    After 8 years and raising two toddlers it came back and started me into yet another depression spell.

    Thanks to the internet and the information that is VERY SLOWLY being made available I started to get an understanding of the situation.

    When I finally got the nerve to talk to a therapist I could trust and the help of ADISC. I found out the full ramifications of the condition and gained self-acceptance.

    So in conclusion: The healthiness of the "life style" is there. One has to have self acceptance of the condition in order to have understanding and control.

    So the " basic" of the life style is "healthy" because it is not causing harm to yourself or anyone else.
    As for how one goes about it is a very different story.

    As long as there is "balance and control" then there is no issue.

    If you go out in the street and ask a stranger in the park to change your diaper, then your into an entirely different story.

    I hope this helps.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by Reword View Post
    I was wondering if I could get y'all perspective on this.
    I have a lot of reasons why abdl isn't really a healthy lifestyle and I struggle to come up with any reasons why it would be healthy. Maybe y'all have insight?
    I'm not saying anything new here... however, moderation and balance are going to be most healthy for you... physically, emotionally/psychologically, and perhaps spiritually...

    Though balance is probably a bit better understood in weighing the two sides equally... I should also like to point out, that moderation may also encompass allowance as much as toning down... in other words, moderate how much restriction you put on yourself too...

    Discretion is key!

    If you haven't come to a conclusion on your own... I think that what you'll find common amongst the majority of us is... trying to completely suppress these urges or desires is what was absolutely most unhealthy! That, and for those who didn't use discretion seemingly what-so-ever...

    There's plenty of middle-ground to live in...

    Perhaps, if you shared some of your reasoning why it isn't really a healthy ______ ... and for most of us, it isn't a lifestyle per-si... but one of many facets of each of our lives... we could better understand where you specifically are at in your thinking this as unhealthy...

    Thank you for joining us!

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by Reword View Post
    I was wondering if I could get y'all perspective on this.
    I have a lot of reasons why abdl isn't really a healthy lifestyle and I struggle to come up with any reasons why it would be healthy. Maybe y'all have insight?
    I'm no ABDL - (a slight bit of a DL) - but this:

    A healthy lifestyle in general I would consider anything that gives you happiness, helps you in some ways (for example coping with stress etc.) without inflicting more grave problems in the process (like killing your co-workers because they're the source of the stress - sorry for the graphic and gross example - but I guess it servers its point).
    A healthy lifestyle is one of balance - where you can go about the stuff that you need to do to survive to strive and to grow as a person, to evolve without making one single aspect the dominant part.
    A healthy lifestyle is one which will enable you to go through life easier in terms of overcoming struggle....
    A healthy lifestyle should be not egoistic but also not centered about what others want / expect from you only - it's a mixture - again balance.

    To apply this to ABDLism as a lifestyle choice:
    I'd say it is healthy IF:
    - plays a role but not a major part in your life
    - you accept it and freely act on it but are not forced / compelled to do it like daily or worse 24/7
    - it helps you for example with stress, etc.. by helping you to unwind, to let go of the worlds problems for a moment
    - it integrates with you life but doesn't control your life
    - it does you no real harm (physical, psychological)

    and I'd declare it unhealthy if:
    - becomes the dominating factor in your life
    - you're first ABDL then "reword" (replace with your name)
    - you only feel "good" / "ok" / "real" when you're into ABDL mode and the rest of the time is the hardest stuff.
    - you put yourself through physical damage (starting to use catheters for example to achieve temporary (or permanent) ic, you start taking laxatives, you start living on baby food / formula, you have constant skin irritations)...
    - you harm yourself psychologically & emotionally
    - Nothing else is of importance
    - your only other goal is to find a partner who's into ABDL / indulging
    - you start to loose the ability to do your duties as a member of society (working, taking care of loved ones, etc...) because of it or your inclination
    - it starts to deprive you of a social life.
    - it creates guilt trips.

    For myself a good example is actual "healthy living" (sports, food, etc.).
    I'm a serious sports freak and one of those my body my temple guys... if you know what I mean.
    I eat clean, I work out at least 4-5 times a week (most often more like 6 times + 1 day rest )...
    To me this is VERY IMPORTANT.
    But it comes with its own risks like injuries, like not finding enough time for the rest of the important part, like getting overly frustrated if by injury or whatever other reasons I can not meet my training goals...
    Getting guilt trips if I had a few times icecream.. etc. stuff like that.
    Sometimes it is difficult to find a balance.

    But I guess it is very human - finding the perfect balance with ANY lifestyle choice is difficult if not outright impossible.

    Overall I'd say if it's 95% positive and only 5% negative you're doing it the right way... if it is 50/50 or even worse... well time to reconsider your options.

  7. #7


    I knew someone online who so far into it, he actually acted like a little boy and thought like one and sucked me into his fantasy. Then he got pissed at me when I refused to be his mommy again. I was only doing it to be nice, I never told him I would always do it and I just didn't feel like doing it anymore because it's boring. I was using it to help him but I think it was all a game and he manipulated me. Yes if you are doing this and not taking no for an answer when someone tells you they don't role play and will not be a mommy, that is unhealthy. Also if you keep pestering people to help you find a mommy, that is also unhealthy. And everything else EPO1 said about when it becomes unhealthy.

  8. #8


    Of course this can be a healthy part of a healthy lifestyle.....if you respect it, yourself, and others. Simple.

    If it is causing you distress, reflect on why that is.... It's most likely not the desires, more the way you're handling them.

    Like others have said, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with being ABDL....but there can be serious issues around how you respond to your feelings.

    If you know how to live a clean healthy lifestyle, know what it means to respect your dignity and the dignity of others, and you approach being ABDL in this way, then you'll find it not only a healthy but rewarding part of who you are.

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