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Thread: how to talk to my therapist about my abdl side???

  1. #1

    Default how to talk to my therapist about my abdl side???

    I kinda want to bring up the topic of my little side to my therapist, mainly because its how I cope when I get stressed or I'm having exiety problem's. She wants to help me find ways of coping or ways to calm down when I have a exiety attack, I know its not really something I can use when I'm not home but I think its something she should know about.
    I just don't know how to bring the subject up and explain it without sounding strange(if thats possible), I defiantly don't want to make myself sound bad, I just have a really hard time explaining stuff and being nervous about it doesn't help.

    Thank you for any advise

  2. #2

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    I would love to help you there mate.... I finally got the balls to see someone (a sexual health counselor) dont know if they can really help me with my abdl issues (amongst all my other fetishes/issues- but the one giving me the most grief) I have an appointment in a couple weeks but I have absolutely no idea what to say to them.
    A well studied psych should know of infantalism or paraphilic infantalism, so I should think they would have an idea.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by mommyslittlewyatt View Post
    I kinda want to bring up the topic of my little side to my therapist, mainly because its how I cope when I get stressed or I'm having exiety problem's. She wants to help me find ways of coping or ways to calm down when I have a exiety attack, I know its not really something I can use when I'm not home but I think its something she should know about.
    I just don't know how to bring the subject up and explain it without sounding strange(if thats possible), I defiantly don't want to make myself sound bad, I just have a really hard time explaining stuff and being nervous about it doesn't help.

    Thank you for any advise
    A good therapist will be open minded and listen and try to understand...
    There's nothing else to it - it's a confidential setting too, so don't be shy about it. Your actions are not illegal and you're clearly not "alone".
    I also assume that these days all therapists have at least heard about ABDL stuff...
    Don't be afraid - they're usually very professional people and are the to help you.
    Just approach it in a way that YOU are comfortable with - don't try to sell it easy or as something that it isn't...
    Simply explain that you have been doing this, that it's comforting and that you find it highly stress relieving or whatever it is to you.

    There's never a guarantee that any therapist will know how to deal with it exactly ... but generally speaking the consensus is that if it isn't hurting you, isn't limiting your function within society, etc... isn't posing any threat to you, etc... then it's harmless and does not need to be "treated".
    If you want to talk about it none the less or about stuff that is bothering you in connection with it - or want inputs etc, then I guess discussing it will be good.

  4. #4

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    Just say it like you explained to us. Example: "I don't know how to say this to you because I get really nervous, and I don't want to come across weird, but I like to wear diapers and consider myself an adult baby, I feel like it helps me calm down, and I thought it was some relevant information for you to know."
    Trust me, they won't show any signs of judging you, they go into psychology to work with interesting people, and being adult baby isn't even that weird com paired to some things.
    There are actually a lot of psychologists though that don't know about it still. Only 1/3 of the ones I went to knew about it, and that was because one had a previous client that claimed it. Also my friend who is going into psychology heard it briefly mentioned in one of his classes once, so it is only now lightly even touched on. You will probably have to explain a bit more about what it is to you, but once you get past saying the word 'diaper' it all gets a bit easier from there.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by mommyslittlewyatt View Post
    I kinda want to bring up the topic of my little side to my therapist, mainly because its how I cope when I get stressed or I'm having exiety problem's. She wants to help me find ways of coping or ways to calm down when I have a exiety attack, I know its not really something I can use when I'm not home but I think its something she should know about.
    I just don't know how to bring the subject up and explain it without sounding strange(if thats possible), I defiantly don't want to make myself sound bad, I just have a really hard time explaining stuff and being nervous about it doesn't help.

    Thank you for any advise
    Hi there Wyatt. First off I'd like to put a disclaimer that if anyone already posted similar advice, I do apologize I just don't have time to scroll through responses right now due to school. Anyway, I think it is a good idea to tell your therapist. I told mine and out worked out that things became a little easier because I wouldn't necessarily have to pretend to be grown up the entire time I am in session anymore. It really helps me to have the ability to bring in a teddy as well as, when I get really stressed in session, suck my thumb. Now, as to how you might do this, I have to say that there is no single surefire way. Though, if your therapist is a professional, they should not react in a terrible way no matter how you do. That said, I think that you might find it best to just, in the beginning of session, say something like "there's something I've been wanting to discuss with you, but have been having s hard time bringing it up. It's something that I find helps me cope with stress and anxiety, but is something that I can't really do in public because most people would not understand." , and then maybe ask if your therapist has ever heard of infantilism, or knows what an ab/dl is. Then go on tp explain how it pertains to your life and what aspects of the fetish and/or lifestyle apply to you personally.

    Like I said, you really should be able to bring it up in any which way, but if you want a starting point to help you think of a way that YOU want to bring it up, I hope that my suggestion helps

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by mommyslittlewyatt View Post
    I kinda want to bring up the topic of my little side to my therapist, mainly because its how I cope when I get stressed or I'm having exiety problem's. She wants to help me find ways of coping or ways to calm down when I have a exiety attack, I know its not really something I can use when I'm not home but I think its something she should know about.
    I just don't know how to bring the subject up and explain it without sounding strange(if thats possible), I defiantly don't want to make myself sound bad, I just have a really hard time explaining stuff and being nervous about it doesn't help.

    Thank you for any advise
    Hello

    There has been a lot of good advice already and I will probably say the same thing, but that is because it works and every ones therapist/client relationship is different. So It does not hurt to hear the same thing several different ways.

    I had two occasions to bring it up.

    The first time I was to embarrassed and ashamed to talk about it and I chickened out.

    The second time I went about it in a roundabout way, (FYI: I joined this group the day before), and mentioned it at the last possible moment. She was very reassuring and the next session I went through my whole life history with the diaper issues.

    So suggestions are this.

    Make sure you are comfortable with the therapists skills to handle it. I changed from my individual therapist to becoming an one on one client with my group therapist for this very reason.

    Do not unload everything at first, but bring up the subject and then open up as you get more comfortable with the therapist ability to help and understand the back ground. They are versed in fetishes but may not be up to date on this subject. So do not be surprised if you have to "educate" them in the process. SO go in with the link information for Bitter Grays "understanding Infantilism".

    Once you have a good report with your therapist then it will be much easier to go into the deep seeded reasons behind the subject. That is when We worked together and made it a coping mechanism.

    I hope this helps
    Good luck.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by mommyslittlewyatt View Post
    I kinda want to bring up the topic of my little side to my therapist, mainly because its how I cope when I get stressed or I'm having exiety problem's. She wants to help me find ways of coping or ways to calm down when I have a exiety attack, I know its not really something I can use when I'm not home but I think its something she should know about.
    I just don't know how to bring the subject up and explain it without sounding strange(if thats possible), I defiantly don't want to make myself sound bad, I just have a really hard time explaining stuff and being nervous about it doesn't help.

    Thank you for any advise
    I'm exactly the same. I tried to tell her last time but I was so nervous and anxious that I chickened out. I hope it goes well for you. I'm going to try again and hopefully I'll be able to get the courage to do it because like you, it helps me deal with my anxiety attacks. I really feel like I need to tell her I think you feel the same. Good luck!

  8. #8

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    I reading some other threads on ADISC, some people have suggestion writing your thoughts on paper. Maybe in the form of a letter before your appointment. This way you are at home and can gather your thoughts, rewriting the letter untill you get it right. The handing your therapist the letter at your appointment.

  9. #9

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    I actually told my therapist about it two weeks ago. I've been wanting to do it for forever, but it's really hard to talk about with other people, because I'm pretty ashamed of it most of the time, not to mention that there are some really nasty stigmas attached to it (like that being into kids stuff means that you're a pedophile). Anyways, the way I did it is three-fold. First off, I eased into it. I brought up sexuality first, and then kink, and then didn't go into it anymore for that session. I guess I was sort of testing the waters. Oh, and at the very end I told her that I had something that I wanted to talk about next time, so that she would ask me about it and get things started I guess.

    The second thing I did was tell myself that it might help others besides me. There is virtually no real research done on alternative sexuality (i.e. fetishes) or nonsexual infantilism, and that is something that I would like to see changed. If people understand it better, there will be fewer negative stigmas, as well as less of a barrier for anyone wanting to talk to their therapist about it. As it is now, most studies done on fetishes and the like have been done on people in mental hospitals or who have had brushes with the law because of their interests. So, I seek to change that.

    The third thing I did was approach it clinically; I mean to say that I didn't just up and tell her I liked diapers, but I asked her what she knew about AB/DL, and when she didn't know that, I said infantilism. Then, once she said she knew what that was, I told her that I was into it. We didn't really get any further into it at that time, besides trying to figure out a way to not have a panic attack stemming from telling her, but it was also very helpful to have some time afterwards to actually let it sink in that I had done it, and that the world wasn't ending. Next week, I'll probably bring it up again, because I have anxiety issues and panic attacks, and I want to know if acting on these interests are a good form of coping or not.

    So, tl;dr, go at it slow, make sure you're comfortable, and trying and make it less about you specifically all make it much, much easier. Also, I haven't had a panic attack from it, so that's encouraging too.

  10. #10

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    Thank you all for the great advice!
    I definitely feel a lot better about telling her now, after reading about everyone having positive results with telling there therapist. Im definitely going to write what I want to say down, so that if I can't bring myself to talk about it I can just let her read it. I don't plan on bringing up about wearing diapers unless she asks about it. I think telling her about the web site understanding infantilism would help if she wants to get more info about it.

    I guess in the worst case scenario she would have no clue what I was talking about and I would have to explain more about it?

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