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Thread: Coming Out to Your Lover? How'd He/She Handle it?

  1. #1

    Default Coming Out to Your Lover? How'd He/She Handle it?

    So I've been thinking a lot lately about marriage and relationships and all that. I've been wondering what the odds are that I'll find a partner who totally accepts my fetish, and, at the very least, doesn't think any less of me for it and is totally comfortable discussing it. So, for those of you who've come out to your past/current romantic partners, how did he/she take it? Did they judge you/react in disgust/burst into tears? Were they repulsed by/willing to/learn to like indulging your fetish? How did it impact your relationship?

  2. #2

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    The two females I have revealed my interest in nappies have both accepted it. In both cases they said they loved me enough to join in my kink.
    My current g/f and soul mate even bought out AB feelings that I never knew I had

  3. #3

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    I knew very early in my current (also first) relationship that it was going to last. I also knew that hiding this wasn't an option.

    First it was a matter of timing. My principle is to wait long enough that you're not still new and getting to know each other, but not so long that the other person can't walk away if they choose without too much baggage. For me, this was about six months. We began dating in December at college. I told her the following June when we were on summer break. If she just didn't want to deal with it, we could just simply not be dating anymore. Which would suck but be low enough impact.

    I'm bad at saying things like this. So I indicated I had to let her know something, but up some resistance, and got her to force it out of me. She did.

    Since then it's been really back and forth. She very quickly said that we could try some pretty advanced stuff if I wanted. Then she was never in the mood to do even basic play (like diapering me). Over time she'd occasionally get into play when I was diapered but I didn't push it much to not scare her. About a year ago I brought up the fact that over 10 years since telling her we hadn't made progress on so much of it and she said that she loved me and made a lot of promises at first that she didn't mean because she didn't want things to be awkward for me, but was really uncomfortable with any interaction at all. We didn't talk a lot about it since but lately she's been hinting and saying directly she can't wait to diaper me (and a few other things). I'm at the point I have literally no idea what to think.

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    My girlfriend posted not too long ago on this very topic. Her thread was well received then so I'll just leave a link to it if you want to check it out: http://www.adisc.org/forum/showthread.php?t=74036

  5. #5

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    I told my wife late in our relationship. She had retired on full medical disability. I no longer had my alone time to indulge in diaper wearing. I had ordered some cloth diapers and plastic pants through Amazon and she saw the order. I suddenly had a lot of explaining to do which she took very well. She has been very supportive and has bought me a lot of baby type things. I should add that I'm my wife's dialysis partner and I do the wound dressing on her diabetic feet, so it's definitely a give and take relationship.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I should add that I'm my wife's dialysis partner and I do the wound dressing on her diabetic feet, so it's definitely a give and take relationship.
    While I certainly don't want to overstep my bounds by correcting you on the nature of your relationship, I'm going to guess it isn't a transactional matter- ie, each of you does what the other needs because the other does what you need. In other words, each of you would want to fulfill the other's needs in absence of having your own need that needs filling.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by AEsahaettr View Post
    While I certainly don't want to overstep my bounds by correcting you on the nature of your relationship, I'm going to guess it isn't a transactional matter- ie, each of you does what the other needs because the other does what you need. In other words, each of you would want to fulfill the other's needs in absence of having your own need that needs filling.
    Yes, you've been around and active on this site to know both me and my wife. I can't imagine living without her, and she's the same toward me. We have a lot of history together and it's all good. I'll do anything under the sun to have one more good day with her and she feels the same way about me. We're lucky that we found each other. I've often thought that I can't imagine my life with any other person, especially since we are the parents of three wonderful kids, now adults. To me, it seems that our complicated lives were set in the universe at its very birth. But of course, the life we live is the only one we know or understand. Still, it packs so much meaning, and our lives together are a part of the everything. Thanks bud. You're part of that universe too.

  8. #8

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    When we were dating, my former wife and I would engage in some verbal and physical diaper play, but she was always a reluctant participant and we never directly confronted the issue itself (paraphilia) in our discussions. After the wedding she would occasionally go along with some kind of diaper play, and even had a little fun with it on rare occasions, but she never really accepted it and after a while she had difficulty hiding her disgust for it. 40 years later it was one of the major factors in our divorce.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Drifter View Post
    When we were dating, my former wife and I would engage in some verbal and physical diaper play, but she was always a reluctant participant and we never directly confronted the issue itself (paraphilia) in our discussions. After the wedding she would occasionally go along with some kind of diaper play, and even had a little fun with it on rare occasions, but she never really accepted it and after a while she had difficulty hiding her disgust for it. 40 years later it was one of the major factors in our divorce.
    40 Years? That breaks my heart.

    My wife hates it. I don't really know what she'd rather I do, but it's been a BIG problem for us.

  10. #10

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    My partner loves me heaps, but it hasn't been all that easy for her to accept since I told her two years ago. She was always understanding and is starting to get it I think. Participation is limited to cuddles but I'm pretty happy with that.
    We already had a very solid relationship when I told her so I was pretty confident this wouldn't be any kind of deal breaker.....we've been through much heavier stuff.
    Anyway, for me and in my situation, telling was an awesome idea....I certainly recommend making this decision on an individual basis though... It's not for everyone.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Oh yeah... This has changed up our love life a bit.... still ok just different I guess.

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