Page 1 of 5 12345 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 41

Thread: My life's struggle

  1. #1
    Reword

    Default My life's struggle

    I've had abdl feelings for as long as I can remember and I hate it. They don't seem to go away and I wish they would. I have visited therapists, had my parents talk with me and cause much stress in our family and it's even driven me to depression at times. Nothing I do helps it go away and it's killing me inside. This lifestyle isn't heathy for me. It's ruined every relationship I've had and caused me not to open up to those around me that care about me. I feel so alone. Nothing has brought me more pain and strife than my desire to wear diapers. It makes no sense! Why would a young adult that is smart, and sane everywhere else would want to wear diapers and crawl around like a baby? Why must I be like this? Why do I like to look at women in diapers more than I like to look at women in underwear? It makes no sense! Y'all seem to have just accepted it but I can't see how I can. It has never once benefitted me in my life.

    Maybe y'all can share some thoughts helping me because right now, I really can't take this anymore...

  2. #2

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Reword View Post
    I've had abdl feelings for as long as I can remember and I hate it. They don't seem to go away and I wish they would. I have visited therapists, had my parents talk with me and cause much stress in our family and it's even driven me to depression at times. Nothing I do helps it go away and it's killing me inside. This lifestyle isn't heathy for me. It's ruined every relationship I've had and caused me not to open up to those around me that care about me. I feel so alone. Nothing has brought me more pain and strife than my desire to wear diapers. It makes no sense! Why would a young adult that is smart, and sane everywhere else would want to wear diapers and crawl around like a baby? Why must I be like this? Why do I like to look at women in diapers more than I like to look at women in underwear? It makes no sense! Y'all seem to have just accepted it but I can't see how I can. It has never once benefitted me in my life.

    Maybe y'all can share some thoughts helping me because right now, I really can't take this anymore...
    Hello Reword and welcome to the group.

    First, you are not alone!

    I have had those thoughts for so many years before I came here and learned to have self acceptance and gained an understanding of what the cause of this is.

    Second, you should be commended for taking the most difficult step and talking to the people around you about the situation. I hope that they did positive things to help you and not just ridicule for "being stupid". (I have heard that one in several places.)

    Unfortunately it does not make any since until you start to gain an understanding of the situation and with that comes control and self acceptance.

    There is a lot of aspects to Paraphilia Infantilism and one gains an understanding of what it is that drives your personal desire it will just become a small part of your personal makeup that makes you the unique person you are.

    Remember that this is not pedophilia and has nothing to do with that.
    You are not doing anything "wrong" and it is not "hurting" anyone. Once you gain an understanding of the issues you will be able to "forgive" yourself and deal with the situation.

    I never had any benefit out of this until I accepted it and with the help of my therapist turned it around and now use it as a coping mechanism and/or a relaxation technique.

    So in short.
    Welcome to the group.
    We are a support group and we are here to help you gain the understanding that you will need to gain balance and control of the life style that can occur.

    You have made a great start.

    When you are ready could you tell us a little bit about yourself such as your hobbies and interests.

    Again welcome to the group.

    Egor

  3. #3

    Default

    We're all dealt a different hand in life, and it seems some receive better than others. Yet, we must play the cards we have.

    It can be difficult, yes. Liking diapers may seem weird, it might make you feel like a freak. But, you are what you are. Your interest is harmless.

    Hopefully one day you can realize that and begin your path to self-acceptance and enjoying rather than hating this part of yourself. This site might be able to help you with that. Here you can see that there are many other people like yourself, people from all walks of life who also enjoy diapers and other babyish things and activities. But ultimately it's up to you to say, ''I like diapers, and that's OK.''

  4. #4
    barrythebumblebee

    Default

    I know how you feel man just embrace it!

  5. #5

    Default

    I think part of your rejection to this is because you are 18 years old. I've been there as have most of us. When I was your age, I had a clear image of myself. I enjoyed sports, I lifted weights, I was career oriented and yet I had this strong desire to wear diapers and feel like a baby. When I engaged in those desires, and afterward, I hated myself for giving in to them. At the same time I was dating, and it was something that made me ashamed, and something that I kept completely hidden.

    Over the years I slowly realized that I didn't have to fit into the male all American macho mold. I began to appreciate myself, my talents and accomplishments, and that was what was important. I found ways to enjoy wearing diapers and still not have it interfere with my relationship with my wife, or with working and simply, enjoying the rest of my life. To all things there is a season, a time and purpose for all things. It's all about balance.

    Having something like this, a diaper fetish, means that it's not going away. You can make yourself miserable or find ways to make peace with it. Just consider it as something that you are compelled to do, something that will bring you inner peace. Then you simply go on with the rest of your life. I'm a professional musician so I balance this one thing against everything else that I do. That includes helping others, loving my family and being a good provider. There are so many worse things in life. Be thankful that this is your one thing that makes you a little different from others. We're all different in a variety of ways. This isn't as bad as others, because no one really has to know.

  6. #6

    Default

    Hey, I'm so sorry this is causing you so much distress. I absolutely agree that what this compels us to do is light years from anything rational......and yet there it is.....and it doesn't go away.

    The thing is that when you let go of the miserable constraints life puts on us, you can tend to that little voice deep inside you...if you did not need to tend to that, it would not be calling.

    You can be everything that you want to be as a responsible and successful, well rounded adult....and still look after something which you must come to embrace as a gift.

    It may well not fit easily into your life right now, but at some point it is possible to reconcile this with the rest of your life.

    It seems that this is not your problem alone, from what you've said. ... You have shared this with others, and I guess that complicates things a bit.

    You can find meaningful relationships without revealing everything in the beginning. Time and deepening of relationships can allow for that.

    Don't hate who you are....reflect on all the good things that you are, and learn to realise that this too (respected) can be a strength in your character.

    We don't know why, no one seems to know why, but there we are well on our hands and knees lol.... To be in touch with something so innocent within you is perfectly OK..... Like anything, it only becomes destructive or evil if you let it.

    Respect yourself, respect others and learn to love the whole person that you are, and I'm sure that someone will also learn to love all of you.


  7. #7

    Default

    I used to be the same way. I learned that making a big deal about it only made it harder to deal with than it should be. The important thing to know is that fetishes, even ones as weird as infantilism, are completely normal to have as long as you don't let them run your life. Your accomplishments and goals make you who you are and what your peers know you as, not your sexual desires.

  8. #8

    Default

    I can completely relate to your post. I have one or two different little flaws, one of them being self criticism. Accepting myself and learning not to beat myself up has been a long slow process for me. I see others here seem to find self acceptance more easily than me. I'm glad to have this place where similarly wired people connect. I'm always trying a new approach at dealing with my own abdl parts. Things have gotten much better with time, increased knowledge, understanding, and self awareness.

  9. #9

    Default

    Reword,

    I can completely identify with your post. Mentally, I have been a DL for at least 35 years and, boy, did I hate myself for it. In my case, growing up, the Internet did not exist and I grew up in a highly conservative household in a highly conservative area of the country. I had no one to turn to. So, I got the top, sat on it and hoped that it would go away. I even succeeded, sometimes for years on end but, it always came back. That persistent thought that you cannot erase and cannot escape. The net result: Depression, anxiety and a bucket full of self-loathing.

    For me, it is only relatively recently that I have acted on these thoughts. I am older though not necessarily wiser but I do know that these thoughts do not go away but what we do harms no one. What I have managed to do since discovering this site and the wonderful people on it is to bring balance to this. I had previously been through treatment for depression and thought that I had got on top of it until, that is, these urges resurfaced. That is when I resorted to the Internet and found ADISC though I did not join - too scary! I went a little crazy for a while completely, utterly overindulging which resulted in a purge and more self-loathing. Then I actually plucked up courage to join this site and talked things through with people who had been there before. Now, I have a stash of items but I also have a relatively successful career. So, I wear some evenings. I have even worn outside. But the main thing here is balance. This does not rule my life, it is something I do because I enjoy it and it harms no one. When I am not wearing, they are put away in a cupboard and there they stay till I need them again.

    Others have noted that counselling/psychotherapy may help. You have to find your own path as to what will help you but first of all, you need to forgive yourself and learn to like yourself. Professional help really does work though. If you cannot do that or do not want to, Google Mood Gym - Online CBT.

    We are a support group and we are here for you.

    DLE

  10. #10

    Default

    it all gets much easier when you just accept you are different, and that being different is ok, it does make relationships harder, but I find the relationships that can get past the small issue of diapers or infantilism work out well, maybe better than regular folks, you do have to have balance though, can't just be a baby all the time, or just take and never give in a relationship

Similar Threads

  1. Balance: The struggle between strife and pleasure
    By ilostthesheriff in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 13-Feb-2014, 06:50
  2. The Struggle
    By BabyMitchy in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-Feb-2014, 04:20
  3. struggle with wanting to be taken care of
    By skittlesfirehawk in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 14-Jan-2014, 02:34
  4. Struggle help
    By Plevvy in forum Babyfur / Diaperfur
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-Jan-2014, 17:53
  5. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 01-Mar-2012, 07:26

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.