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Thread: Guilt

  1. #1

    Default Guilt

    So a little back story.... I suffer from transient bowel ic (crohns) and also very transient urge urinary ic (medication)
    A few weeks ago I went into an incontinence supplies store and after chatting for a little while they made me an appointment to see a continence nurse. The appointment went well and I have been approved for government funding for my nappies.
    Now to the guilt, I feel guilty in that I am able to abuse the medical system for what i can only say is for my fetish. I know I have at times a legitimate reason, but I feel like I shouldnt be enjoying it... I mean when the ic is at its worst its no fun at all, but outside those times is a different story...
    Don't know if anyone can help me... I guess guilt is a very personal thing, and I'll need to deal with these thoughts fluffing around inside my head on my own.

  2. #2

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    I understand that this is a mixed bag...

    I'm usually not a big fan of "black/white situational thinking" - but I guess in your case it serves a simple purpose:
    - You're IC? - Yes.
    - You need some form of Protection?

    Now whether you like /enjoy the product doesn't really matter, as your choices are limited I guess (you need some form of protection at times).
    So it is a medical condition and this is what the medical system and the insurances are there to cover for (partially to some extend).
    So you can be miserable having to wear diapers. Or you can enjoy having to wear diapers. The fact remains that you're having to wear diapers (or pads or whatever).

    It would be a vastly different case if you would NOT NEED the products for a medical reason and none the less get them through the system... that is what would be fraud and I personally wouldn't like that at all.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by EPO1 View Post
    I understand that this is a mixed bag...

    I'm usually not a big fan of "black/white situational thinking" - but I guess in your case it serves a simple purpose:
    - You're IC? - Yes.
    - You need some form of Protection?

    Now whether you like /enjoy the product doesn't really matter, as your choices are limited I guess (you need some form of protection at times).
    So it is a medical condition and this is what the medical system and the insurances are there to cover for (partially to some extend).
    So you can be miserable having to wear diapers. Or you can enjoy having to wear diapers. The fact remains that you're having to wear diapers (or pads or whatever).

    It would be a vastly different case if you would NOT NEED the products for a medical reason and none the less get them through the system... that is what would be fraud and I personally wouldn't like that at all.
    I agree with this. I mean, what's the alternative? Messes or wet pants while you're at the store? I see no reason to feel guilty based on what you've described here.

    Here's something to consider, though, if you're feeling particularly guilty. It seems to me the big hang-up is the off times, times when you don't have an accident but are still using the furnished diapers (and enjoying them). Perhaps some sort of a hybrid system might help you, one in which you purchased some diapers on your own and used the other diapers the rest of the time? I would presume you don't know when you will or won't have issues, but supposing you do (certain environmental conditions predispose you toward accidents or whatever), you could wear your diapers on off days, and then wear the diapers they've helped you with on days you know you'll need them. Alternatively, if you feel like you're getting 50 percent need and 50 percent enjoyment from their diapers, perhaps you buy half the diapers yourself and half come from them?

    Like EPO1 said, I think you have every reason to accept the aid. In my mind, enjoying the diapers in your case is not fraudulent or even of questionable ethical value. I'd say it's more of a making the best of a bad situation type thing.

    Good luck!

  4. #4

    Default

    I'm with EP01 here.

    Even if you only need them some of the time then there is justification for them being provided for you. It appears that you cannot predict when you will, or will not, need them. By definition then, you need them all the time.

    For me, it seems like the guilt is more connected to being a DL in the first place. That I certainly can identify with. Most of us have been through that guilt at some point or another. All I have to say is let go of it and enjoy. What you certainly could do, as has also been suggested, is by some for yourself. Maybe this is an opportunity for you to play around and try different brands.

    Lose the guilt,

    DLE

  5. #5

    Default

    In my family, we grew up with one motto: "If it's not a gain, it's a loss.". In this case I would call it a gain. Try to use the diapers in the same way a fully incontinent person would do, you don't always have to go 1 &/or 2 in them, but masquerade them to believe that. It's not ethical in any way, but hey, it's a gain, not a loss.

  6. #6

    Default

    Thanks guys, good suggestions.
    I think I'll try spending my own money on them when not going through a ic phase. I'll see how that goes
    As for what DLE said about guilt for being a DL... I think you may have a point there also... im thinking of maybe seeing a psych to talk about it with (amongst all my other issues haha)
    Thanks again guys

  7. #7

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    nick85,

    Just one thing to consider with regards to the guilt, what we do harms no one. As kinks go, this is about as harmless as it gets. Trust me, there are people out there with kinks that do harm people, wearing a diaper is most certainly not one of them.

    So you like wearing diapers, so what? especially in your case, you do actually need them some of the time. You have an excuse, a genuine excuse. I have none.

    I know it is easier said than done and I am probably not 100% there myself but: Lose the Guilt!

    DLE

  8. #8

    Default

    It depends on how often we are talking about, like is it once a year, once a month, more regular etc. If it isn't regular and there is a constant chance that you might wet/ soil yourself, wouldn't it make sense to wear expecting that it is a possibility. Keeping that in mind, how many times do you wear a brief before you throw it away (if it is dry.) If they are high quality and I need to conserve them, I have used them for one or two nights. Back when I was a regular bedwetter, I didn't want to waste any Goodnites and sometimes I would wear them nightly for a week if I didn't have any accidents.

    Keep in mind that there are people out there who use government funding for things that they don't need at all... Using SNAP to buy candy, cookies and soda, exploiting aid for single mothers to buy big-screen T.V.s etc. There are also people who exploit healthcare supplied IC programs to turn around and sell what is left.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Ragequit View Post
    It depends on how often we are talking about, like is it once a year, once a month, more regular etc. If it isn't regular and there is a constant chance that you might wet/ soil yourself, wouldn't it make sense to wear expecting that it is a possibility. Keeping that in mind, how many times do you wear a brief before you throw it away (if it is dry.) If they are high quality and I need to conserve them, I have used them for one or two nights. Back when I was a regular bedwetter, I didn't want to waste any Goodnites and sometimes I would wear them nightly for a week if I didn't have any accidents.

    Keep in mind that there are people out there who use government funding for things that they don't need at all... Using SNAP to buy candy, cookies and soda, exploiting aid for single mothers to buy big-screen T.V.s etc. There are also people who exploit healthcare supplied IC programs to turn around and sell what is left.
    I always read SNAP as Systems Nuclear Auxiliary Power (the U.S. Navy's radioisotope thermoelectric generator dev program) instead of the far more common Supplemental Nutrition Access Program. :P

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by SissyDLE View Post
    nick85,

    Just one thing to consider with regards to the guilt, what we do harms no one. As kinks go, this is about as harmless as it gets. Trust me, there are people out there with kinks that do harm people, wearing a diaper is most certainly not one of them.

    So you like wearing diapers, so what? especially in your case, you do actually need them some of the time. You have an excuse, a genuine excuse. I have none.

    I know it is easier said than done and I am probably not 100% there myself but: Lose the Guilt!

    DLE
    "Lose the guilt." - I'm trying...

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Ragequit View Post
    It depends on how often we are talking about, like is it once a year, once a month, more regular etc. If it isn't regular and there is a constant chance that you might wet/ soil yourself, wouldn't it make sense to wear expecting that it is a possibility. Keeping that in mind, how many times do you wear a brief before you throw it away (if it is dry.) If they are high quality and I need to conserve them, I have used them for one or two nights. Back when I was a regular bedwetter, I didn't want to waste any Goodnites and sometimes I would wear them nightly for a week if I didn't have any accidents.

    Keep in mind that there are people out there who use government funding for things that they don't need at all... Using SNAP to buy candy, cookies and soda, exploiting aid for single mothers to buy big-screen T.V.s etc. There are also people who exploit healthcare supplied IC programs to turn around and sell what is left.
    Bowel ic is allways a concern just the likelihood and severity changes month to month.
    You make a good point about other people abusing welfare.... doesnt make it right, but I suppose I do require it when I do, and when I think about it, premium products cost a lot. .. which if I wasnt able to afford I would prob be staying at home and not studying or working at all and be on a disability pension. .. which would cost the gov a lot more ( which happened to me a few years back)

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