Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself by sharing with you the details of my Infantilism - or if you prefer AB/DL-ism, so I don't have to go over it elsewhere. I should't talk about why I am this way anymore. But I felt it was important to explain it to the community initially so it I wouldn't feel that I was being a mystery person. By the way, I love doing all kinds of fun stuff - not just baby things. I would love to make new friends here so please reply after reading my intro!
I'm a survivor. I have PTSD from the trauma of sensory deprivation during my infancy, and abuse and neglect in my childhood. I also have Bi-Polar I Disorder that has often led to psychotic episodes and these were also traumatic, which made my PTSD worse. I started wetting myself when I was 11 years old because I was so emotionally disturbed that I couldn't help it. My incontinence continued and got worse over the years, and I now have a doctor's prescription for adult diapers so I can get get public assistance to help with the cost.
It was very hard for me to admit that I needed diapers because I loved how they made me feel and it seemed too convenient to need something I wanted so badly. But I finally did admit it after many incidents where I made messes on other people's property and made them angry. Now I wear diapers all the time, and coming to terms with it is a work in progress.
Emotionally, I feel like a toddler inside because I never had the chance to grow up. I was never given the physical sensory inputs children need to enable the brain and nervous system to develop properly. I rejected puberty and don't like looking like an adult so I remove all the extra hair - it disturbs me. I take a prescription medication to reduce my sexual feelings because I'm greatly bothered by them. But mentally, intellectually I mean, I developed just fine. I'm legally disabled, but I live in my own apartment independently, and take care of myself, making sure all the bills get paid on time, (I'm on Social Security Disability), see doctors, psychiatrists, and a therapist on schedule, and do everything I need to do to keep myself out of the nursing home.
I'm not here to tell my life story. That would be bad for me. I've been through therapy and what's best for me is to live life well. Being a child in an adult's body is acceptable to me. I know that others here may have another view about being AB/DL and I would say that the causes and motives are different for each individual. I've accepted myself as I am. I can accept you too, now that that task is done.
Please say hi! I'd love to meet you.