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Thread: Loving something fake

  1. #1

    Default Loving something fake

    I ask this to people with imaginary friends. Is it weird wrong or even crazy to love your imaginary friend. I can't help but love my imaginary friend. She has been with me since the middle of high school, and I can't think of life without her anymore. I don't know if I'm so love hungry that she popped up, or if I'm going crazy. Please tell me I'm not crazy.

  2. #2


    Imaginary friends can be a dicey topic.... psychologically speaking.

    There's a borderline between this being something "healthy" to some degree and being either a schism with reality to a harsh level and an obsession of sorts.
    The idea of an imaginary friend is quite "basic" - but the actual "layout" can vary greatly.

    there's a lot of authors who say that they immerse into the writing - the story so much, as to them their characters are "real" of sorts, imaginary "friends and foes" and they have inner dialogs with them, evolve the story...

    Then it is something a LOT of children do - usually as either some way to cope with difficult situations / lack of peers to talk / communicate with or out of pure over-active fantasy in which they indulge to a very immersive level. Children often have no real border between the fantastical world they imagine and the reality.

    In Adults the topic is widely discussed in the psychological world and opinions vary greatly.

    Now I guess some consensus can be found with this:

    - Person is entirely aware of the fictitious nature of the "imaginary friend"
    - The dialogs are alway initiated by the "creator" and not by the "character". (meaning, it's not like you hear voices).
    - It does not interfere with basic social life (ie. the person does not become a recluse - withdraws more and more in a fictional world creating an "alternate reality".
    - the "character" is not / never in "control"
    - The characters are actively "used" to solve problems, create new perspectives, basically as a form of visualized aspects, problems, and solutions.

    - Characters are perceived as "real persons" and the Person acts as if these fictional characters are real.
    - The "characters" start to talk actively - basically not "actively" initated by the person, but "out of control"
    - The character can take over control, act as deciding figure in the persons life.
    - The character(s) become more important than "real" family & friends
    - Social withdrawl because one believes that the imaginary friend is all they need.
    - hearing them (like really "hearing" them - not differentiating between an actually audible person)
    - Talking loudly with them - or worse talking the entire dialog out loud...
    - complete obsession with the character. character preventing getting a relationship for example. "getting in the way".

    Those are just a few hints to decide to what degree the imaginary friend is too much or not.

    If you are concerned I can only recommend talking this over with a therapist...

    Personally I never had imaginary friends - well certainly not since my teenage years... as a young child I had a very vivid fantasy... but I guess that's just it.
    But I don't think it is by necessity a problem - unless you're showing signs as outlined above.

    The "love" part though is a bit odd in my book - but I guess it is for you a coping mechanism to cope with the actual lack of real-life love?

    There are a good number of document cases of adults in captivity for example (prison, etc.) who have developed imaginary friends and have very strong feelings / bonds to them, bordering on "unhealthy" - but the "friend" was created out of a simple, but dire need...

  3. #3


    I can tell you s couple of details. My IQ is high and my curiosity its boundless. I study everything around me. From the walls of my room to everything I see outside it's walls. My imaginary friend only shows up when I feel off for some reason. I know she's not a real person. For the most part she only around at night to say goodnight. Other than that I don't feel like she's a problem. If some reason it got out of control I would make her go away if I had to.

  4. #4


    Well I think as long as you are fully aware of all that, and you find her useful - no problem.
    if it would at one point bother you, don't be afraid to seek help.

  5. #5


    I don't like to think in terms of "wrong". It's a hard quality to measure. There are immoral acts, such as killing another human being, or stealing. And even those are subjective. But "wrong" is in a different category, isn't it?

    I think the question to ask is, are you happy? You say you love this imaginary friend - which does strike me as odd, but not necessarily worrisome. I love my stuffed teddy bear, for example. I often talk to my stuffed teddy bear. He's a comfort object. But I know that he isn't alive, and it's good to see that you realize your imaginary friend isn't alive, as well.

    Like EPO1 said, it may be worthwhile to consider the void your friend is filling in your life. Companionship, maternal love, romantic love, etc. I don't think you having one is unhealthy, so long as you don't use her as a substitute for seeking a real relationship with a flesh and blood person.

    We all have ways of coping with our feelings, and I don't think you're crazy at all. Maybe a little lonely, but not crazy.

  6. #6


    My bestest friend is my teddy bear. I think it is cool that you have an imaginary friend. Do you have any stuffies that are your friends too?

  7. #7


    I tend to animate my plushie friends, so I guess I can understand having an imaginary friend. I'm a writer and my characters have really gotten into my head. Sometimes when I've written a sad scene, I've actually cried because I've touched on a nerve, something that hurt me as a child.

    The question I have is this. Were you molested or severely abused as a child? Having an imaginary friend, especially if that friend appears as real can be the result of sexual abuse as a child. If not, and this is a mild relationship, I wouldn't worry about it.

  8. #8


    I was abused, but not sexually.

    Like I said in a previous post a couple of days ago. I had a stuffed green ranger for a friend during my childhood. He was my only friend for close to a decade. He was lost in my preteens and was replaced with a stuffed charizard that doubled as a pillow.

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by DarkBabyMagicain View Post
    I ask this to people with imaginary friends. Is it weird wrong or even crazy to love your imaginary friend. I can't help but love my imaginary friend. She has been with me since the middle of high school, and I can't think of life without her anymore. I don't know if I'm so love hungry that she popped up, or if I'm going crazy. Please tell me I'm not crazy.
    as a person with a few too many imaginary little buddies her self, i can say this with some experience.....
    if your friend speaks to you in kindness, and returns the feelings of love that you show them.... and of course doesn't get you into trouble. then one can't go wrong in loving another, especially if that friend resides somewhere within your own mind.... (soft smile).

    lodge wrecker....

  10. #10


    It's alright to have fantasies, but that's where they need to be left. It's not a good thing to hold onto, especially since, I assume, you're already well attached to your friend. It's really better to go out into the world and make real friends, sure you might not agree on everything with them right away, but if the friendship is meant to be both of you just get along, and eventually grow to need each other.

    Real friendships are very rewarding, and well worth the effort. I used to think friendship was something I could do without, I was wrong, very wrong. Since I've started making friends, I just improved overall. I'm now the opposite of who I was in the best ways possible. Now I'm not calling you "crazy" or judging you and whatnot, I'm saying you should reevaluate the situation.

    Think about what's important to you, but think about your future. Know that an imaginary friend in the end is what you created and what you want is ultimately what you get.

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