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Thread: How to tell if your boy or girl crush is AB or DL?

  1. #1
    wayz2plzu

    Default How to tell if your boy or girl crush is AB or DL?

    This may have already been discussed, but I couldn't find it under the search function.... So here it goes:

    How does one tell if a boy (or in my case a girl) is either an AB (Adult Baby) or a DL (Diaper Lover)?

    I've got this crazy infatuation with a young woman who works at a pharmacy I frequently visit, but for one thing I have no idea if she's got a boyfriend/husband, and two even if she doesn't have either a husband or boyfriend, how do I tell if she's either AB or DL without sounding creepy? Is there a way to tell?

    I mean I like her, and I want to get to know her, but I don't want her to find out I'm a DL, and then have her running away like the dickens. Any thoughts or tips? Any hints I could be looking for? Thanks for any advice I can get here.

  2. #2

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    Well short of the usual tell tale signs such as the conspicuous extras... Diapers, paci well you know.... how on earth would you know. You certainly couldn't go by baby talk....most girls do that or an obsessive interest in babies.... most girls do that too..... hmmm, you know what, I wouldn't worry about it. Find out if she's a nice girl, and if it's meant to be, all will work out in the end.....and if surprise of surprises she is ABDL woohoo you score.
    Go on and strike up a conversation ( a regular one I think) good luck.

  3. #3

    Default

    I think you're jumping several hurdles at once, rather than taking on one at a time. First, find out if she's single, and second, if she would be interested in you. Ask her out to dinner and you'll get your answer. One would always date for a while before they started a conversation about kinks or doing things that are not generally accepted or understood by society. You have a long road to go before you are at that point. Real life is not at all like a membership on Fetlife, haha.

  4. #4

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    As for being single or not, when I was single and interested in a girl I would look at the left hand ring finger. If I saw a wedding ring or a big diamond, game over. As dogboy said, you are thinking too far in advance. Start with small talk to get a clue about her relationship status like, What did you do last weekend? What are you doing this weekend? Seen any good movies lately? and you will have your question about her relationship status answered in relatively short order. And again, make sure the relationship - this one or any one - gets far enough along before you start discussing kinky things. Good luck and keep us posted!

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by wayz2plzu View Post
    This may have already been discussed, but I couldn't find it under the search function.... So here it goes:

    How does one tell if a boy (or in my case a girl) is either an AB (Adult Baby) or a DL (Diaper Lover)?

    I've got this crazy infatuation with a young woman who works at a pharmacy I frequently visit, but for one thing I have no idea if she's got a boyfriend/husband, and two even if she doesn't have either a husband or boyfriend, how do I tell if she's either AB or DL without sounding creepy? Is there a way to tell?

    I mean I like her, and I want to get to know her, but I don't want her to find out I'm a DL, and then have her running away like the dickens. Any thoughts or tips? Any hints I could be looking for? Thanks for any advice I can get here.
    Why is your primary objective to find out if she's AB/DL?
    that sounds kind of weird to me to be honest.
    And no there's no non-creepy way in this case.

    Here's what I'd do:
    Try to invite her out... grab a coffee... or bring her some sweets or whatever... nothing too over the top... classics.
    Basically try to get her on a "Light date" - if she likes you, and if she's available she might say yes.
    Now with that accomplished, and lets hypothetically assume she went along... you start to date... you get to know each other...
    lets again assume this went well so far... now you start to build trust, a relationship... and at one point (sometimes sooner, sometimes later) sexuality will be a "topic"..
    By that time you should have figured out if she's open minded or not.... if yes, talk about kinks.


    What I say is that it is utterly unimportant whether she's AB/DL ... especially when you are not dating her.

  6. #6
    wayz2plzu

    Default really want to go out with her without being creepy



    Quote Originally Posted by EPO1 View Post
    Why is your primary objective to find out if she's AB/DL?
    that sounds kind of weird to me to be honest.
    And no there's no non-creepy way in this case.

    Here's what I'd do:
    Try to invite her out... grab a coffee... or bring her some sweets or whatever... nothing too over the top... classics.
    Basically try to get her on a "Light date" - if she likes you, and if she's available she might say yes.
    Now with that accomplished, and lets hypothetically assume she went along... you start to date... you get to know each other...
    lets again assume this went well so far... now you start to build trust, a relationship... and at one point (sometimes sooner, sometimes later) sexuality will be a "topic"..
    By that time you should have figured out if she's open minded or not.... if yes, talk about kinks.


    What I say is that it is utterly unimportant whether she's AB/DL ... especially when you are not dating her.
    For your first part of your question, I think it's only natural to find people who are just as weird as this of us who are. I mean, sexual deviants seek out like-minded sexual deviants all of the time, so why should this be any different? The only difference is that is that I don't showcase it regularly. I'm more or less curious if there are signs I should look for. Subtle clues as it were.

    As for bringing in sweets, or "gifts" for her, her boss seems to frown upon that sort of thing, so I am a little limited on how to express myself to her without either getting her or myself in any sort of trouble, so it's sort of a catch-22. What might you suggest without getting her in some sort of trouble?

    And for the record, sexuality is furthest from my mind, whether you want to believe that is your business.
    Last edited by wayz2plzu; 08-Jul-2014 at 12:59. Reason: grammar/spelling

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by wayz2plzu View Post
    For your first part of your question, I think it's only natural to find people who are just as weird as this of us who are. I mean, sexual deviants seek out like-minded sexual deviants all of the time, so why should this be any different? The only difference is that is that I don't showcase it regularly. I'm more or less curious if there are signs I should look for. Subtle clues as it were.

    As for bringing in sweets, or "gifts" for her, her boss seems to frown upon that sort of thing, so I am a little limited on how to express myself to her without either getting her or myself in any sort of trouble, so it's sort of a catch-22. What might you suggest without getting her in some sort of trouble?

    Amd for the record, sexuality is furthest from my mind, whether you want to believe that is your business.

    you misread what I was saying to some part:
    You want to find out if another person is a DL / AB ... aside from them clearly wearing diapers visibly, or having a dummy or other AB Type paraphernalia attached visible or a T-Shirt saying "I love diapers"... there are no clues.
    The only thing you can do to make sure is to get to know the PERSON... and once some trust is there, plainly ask.
    Also what I say is, that if you have some "romantic" interest in that girl... your best shot at RUINING any chances is to go and reduce her to any kink. Even if she is kinky. even if she's DL-type kinky... not many people like to be reduced to the sexualised object of a kink.
    This is why I said that there's no non-creepy way as well...

    Also why the "primary focus" on the kink part... it's not "that" important. if someone is open minded and you get to know the person, and everything goes smooth (Relationship-wise) then you'd be surprised at how openminded people can be for someone they love. Kinks can find a good place in the relationship... but basing a (potential) relationship almost exclusively on the issue of if the other person has X-Kink... not going to work well in most cases.


    Lastly her boss: screw that guy... BE BOLD.
    After all you're interested in the GIRL not the BOSS
    Invite her to a coffee... bring her a smile every day
    Talk to her, ask her out...
    Yes, she might say NO... so what... that's life... but if you don't try...

  8. #8

  9. #9
    wayz2plzu

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by cr5311 View Post
    She's not. You're welcome.
    Never judge a book by its cover. Or so the old saying goes. I like to keep my mind open.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by cr5311 View Post
    She's not. You're welcome.
    Never judge a book by its cover. Or so the old saying goes. I like to keep my mind open.

  10. #10

    Default

    I have one question for you, wayz2plzu:

    Would this girl be less interesting - respectively would you be less interested in her - if she indeed would not be into ABDL stuff?
    Or asked differently, what is it that you find interesting, etc... ?

    The idea here is that if she's of interest to you aside from the whole ABDL thing, then the ABDL stuff isn't "important"...
    if its only the ABDL aspect you're after than your best bet would be either to be really straight up about this (which I think will doom any chances you might have, even if she's into ABDL by chance) or pursue a different venue to find someone who's kink-focused only....

    Focusing on this tiny aspect usually leads to no results, no matter in what area you're looking.
    Sure the "wider spread" a kink is, the more likely it is that you would find someone with the very same interest who's also only looking for a kink-play-partner and not a full relationship... but with a fetish such as AB/DL the numbers are really low already compared to say latex kink...
    So chances are statistically speaking even lower.

    But finding someone who is a good partner, will love you and you will love her, build on this and be openminded (in both ways)... and then incorporate whatever kink either one may have - that is a something that is very very much possible.
    sure, some people are less open minded than others, but trust me that if you've got a great relationship, it most often would not be a problem, as long as it goes both ways and boundaries are respected and its not getting "extreme" ( such as people wanting their SO to basically be a 24/7 diaper-mommy or whatever... that would, for *most* - even openminded - people be too much..).
    Same goes for myself and my SO - whilst we both are quite into BDSM stuff, neither one of us would be comfortable with a full BDSM Lifestyle that focuses predominantly on this... for us it is a PART of our life, but we don't play those roles every day... it spices things up and is a lot of "fun" - but that's it. the most important part is the other person... Being together, going through life together - being a family, care for each other etc... the rest is all just "decorum" to say so... stuff that makes life more fun but not crucial.

    If you look at it like this, then any kink you have or she might have is not that important, not that big a deal... and certainly does not matter much in terms of "finding" someone.
    But if you focus only on the kink aspect you're bound to make your own life much more complicated and potentially less fulfilling.

    just my 2-cents.

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