Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: How do I go about getting my boyfriend to participate?

  1. #1

    Unhappy How do I go about getting my boyfriend to participate?

    So my boyfriend is actually the one who encouraged me to start wearing diapers again. I told him they made me feel safe and he's been very accepting of them for the past year now. He always buys them for me when I need them and when I've had a bad day he always suggests I put them on before bed.

    However, lately Ive been wanting him to 'participate' more when it comes to helping me feel 'little'. I've seen so many ABDL couples on tumblr and stuff and I'll admit, Ive become I bit jealous.

    The other night, I put on a goodnite, and climbed in to bed. I was hoping my bf would pat my bum or baby-talk me or even just cuddle me, but he fell asleep right away. I ended up in tears just out of frustration. Im frustrated because he's so open and accepting, yet Im too embarrassed/nervous about telling him what my fantasies are. I want him to put them on me, I want him to suggest I wear them during the day sometimes etc. I fear he'll hate it or think it's messed up and because he's so nice he'll go along with it and participate but secretly think Im a weirdo.

    I don't know if Im explaining myself properly, probably not

  2. #2

    Default

    Communication is a necessity in any relationship. It sounds like you have a good, open one. If he is accepting and buying you diapers that's a good sign. Just suggest it one day like, "Hey honey. I'm so happy you're so accepting of my fetish/lifestyle/hobby (insert word). Have you ever thought about wearing one with me? I think it might be something fun for us to do." Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

  3. #3

    Default

    First off, congratulations on having a partner who is accepting and supportive of this side of you.

    Like zipperless said, communication is necessary, because your boyfriend isn't going to know about your fantasies unless you talk to him about them. But, be aware that even though he's OK with you wearing diapers, there's no guarantee that he'll have any interest in participating, and it's not something you can force him to do.

    However, if he does show interest, take things slowly at first so he isn't dragged too far out of his comfort zone. Perhaps cuddle together while watching an animated movie for example. And it's also nice if you could return the favor by doing something he likes to do, whether that's going for a hike or out for ice cream or whatever he enjoys, so he doesn't feel like your needs are being placed in front of his. Balance and compromise are important.

  4. #4

    Default

    Little O I know the feeling now I am incon and some times it be great to have those things returned to you Mine was into wearing and things of that nature then one day she told me she wanted to stop and due to my issue its very well it hurts I would ask him why he stopped Find out if there is certain things that turn him on and then slowly bring up the diapers He may be unsure as to what he is to do and when and how to do it I know what that is like as I have been there my self learning
    when I found out that I enjoyed the daddy type role. and the girl i was dating told me she was into this at the time it took time before I became comfortable with
    that position as with my own issue hang in there it will get better keep the communication Open and if you need to talk or bounce ideas or any thing Just ask we are here as a community

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Littleleogirl View Post
    So my boyfriend is actually the one who encouraged me to start wearing diapers again. I told him they made me feel safe and he's been very accepting of them for the past year now. He always buys them for me when I need them and when I've had a bad day he always suggests I put them on before bed.

    However, lately Ive been wanting him to 'participate' more when it comes to helping me feel 'little'. I've seen so many ABDL couples on tumblr and stuff and I'll admit, Ive become I bit jealous.

    The other night, I put on a goodnite, and climbed in to bed. I was hoping my bf would pat my bum or baby-talk me or even just cuddle me, but he fell asleep right away. I ended up in tears just out of frustration. Im frustrated because he's so open and accepting, yet Im too embarrassed/nervous about telling him what my fantasies are. I want him to put them on me, I want him to suggest I wear them during the day sometimes etc. I fear he'll hate it or think it's messed up and because he's so nice he'll go along with it and participate but secretly think Im a weirdo.

    I don't know if Im explaining myself properly, probably not
    Honestly, just tell him "exactly" that...

    ... Tell him why you are afraid, that you don't want to have this turn into a problem,. etc...
    I don't think this can go wrong at the point where you're...

  6. #6

    Default

    Hey there Littleogirl,

    I think I kinda understand how you feel. I am pretty afraid of sharing it with my girlfriend even if she is very understanding and is actually willing to participate. But, I learned that she is not a mind-reader and I spent some time waiting for her to do things because I didn't want to force her hand. I know it can be hard but you can't wait for him to do stuff unless you tell him what you want. He will or will not want to take part, that is up to him, don't force him, just tell him what you want, figure out to what extend he is willing to participate., etc.

    Also, it's not easy to get rid of this little voice saying "he thinks you're a weirdo, he's nice but I don't know what he really think". To shut it down, you really have to ask him and trust him. (I haven't managed to shut it completely but work is in progress)

    If you're afraid that he might freak out with a big long talk, don't tell everything at once. One step at a time. Like asking him if he would mind doing this or that. Like when he suggest you put one on, ask him if he would mind doing it for you. You know him better than me, you probably know how to ask.

  7. #7

    Default

    O.k., here's what you do. You pack up, move out to southern California, then enter into a relationship with me and be involved to your heart's content ;D

    But for a more feasible, and probably more desirable solution for you, is to simply ask. We (men) are not mind readers. Your ability to communicate with each other sounds good enough that such a request should not be met with ridicule or derision. He may still decline, but you should frame it in such a way that he understands that it would bring you joy for him to diaper you. It is an intimate moment that he might, or might not, be comfortable with.

    it is of my belief, that being that he has gone so far as to buy them for you and be comfortable sleeping with you while you wear, he is not going to hate or be disgusted by you. The line for that to be crossed was long ago when you revealed this to him. I tried this very situation before, and I got exactly what you fear will happen, but I got it from the outset. I envy you for having such an accepting and supportive boyfriend; if only my ex-girlfriend had been so open.

    Seriously, just ask. You already know the answer if you never ask the question....no. Its asking the question that reveals the uncertainty of the answer, and we all fear the uncertain. Cast aside the fear, and trust in your boyfriend. Not to say no or yes, but to not think less of you for asking for something that you desire and would involve him in something you enjoy.

  8. #8

    Default

    Echoing the "people are not mind readers comment," let me just add that hints do not work. Ever. Seriously, people are dense as rocks. Even if you think the fact that you're in bed, diapered, and ready to cuddle is the most obvious thing in the world, there's a chance he'll miss it or just not be in the same mood and not realize that you have a need.

    So, yeah, simple communication is the way to go here. "Hey, was wondering if you want to cuddle a bit. I'd love it if you baby-talked to me when I'm in a diaper too." See what he says, go from there.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieRoni View Post
    Seriously, people are dense as rocks.
    There's this cliché of women dropping hints about anything on men, but men don't take such hints. The cliché is exaggerated, but there's truth value in it. Men and women communicate differently. Men are more likely to be direct, and tell stories (also non-fictious stories, FYI) that are usually to give information. Women tend to imply more and are more likely to tell stories to be, well, "rid of information", so to speak.

    When a woman talks, a man doesn't always have to come up with an answer. For women, it can be enough to talk to someone who listens, then they find out the answer themselves, because they've articulated their problem. However, the "implying" part is where it gets harder. Women are more likely to focus on feelings and emotions, while men are more drawn to logic and reasoning. There is no "feeling" in logic, because it's hard to reason about.

    In the end, men find it very hard to pick up on what a woman means if she doesn't say what's on her mind. To make communication with a man easier, please take this advice: we might think we're smart, but that's not really true. We can only understand other men (somewhat), so if you want to tell us something, be clear about it and don't make implications. Don't give us a message we have to sort out for ourselves, 'cause that's where it can go wrong.

    TL;DR: If you never talk about what you want (in bed), you'll never get what you want (in bed).

    I know it takes great courage, but if you want to sort this out, please be strong and talk about this with your boyfriend. You don't have to tell everything at once, and it might be wise to agree upon a, well... safeword, to put it blunt. That way, either of you can end the conversation if they feel like it's becoming too much to take in at the same time.

  10. #10

    Default

    For me, it honestly took a long time to get both me and my various partners (gals & pals) to participate with me. It mostly came down to how long the relationship currently is, and also a mutual understanding of how it made me and eventually my partner comfortable as long as it was able to keep our relationship strong, while also being able to maintain an adult romance as well. Anyway, the point of this rant is I think it mostly takes time.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 14
    Last Post: 12-Jun-2012, 01:20
  2. Should I allow my girlfriend to participate?
    By Ronbeast in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 12-Feb-2011, 08:28
  3. Earth Hour, did you participate?
    By xdeadx in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 04-Apr-2009, 05:43

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.