Hey everyone, lotusflower here... i need a friendly face right now
finding it very hard to post or talk to anybody. Feeling very stuck. Got a doctors appt (again) in a few hours. I've spent months thinking about what i wanna say. But now its close... i'm scared. I haven't posted much because i don't wanna drag you all down. I'm really struggling though. I've always encouraged people to be themselves. But with me in my little town, it seems near impossible. I just wish i could be me .
The result of my silence? Sleepless nights, hypnic jerks, nightmares. I only eat 1/2 a meal a day for months now. My careworkers aren't listening. I even considered a hunger strike recently to show my distress. Desperate measures. I just wish they would listen. I really need a hug. I just feel so alone .
I really want to go back to the lotusflower you all first met. i don't enjoy feeling down. I'd love to show everybody that person i can be. But.. right now.. i'd like a helping hand. I will attend my appointment sleep deprived. Wish me luck!
- lotus flower