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Thread: Therapists' attitudes---Experiences?

  1. #1

    Question Therapists' attitudes---Experiences?

    I'm interested in the experiences those among us have had with therapists. Therapy comes up repeatedly in these forums, but I'd be interested in trying to get a sense of how therapists have viewed AB/DL in actual practice.

    To be clear: I'm not looking for therapy for DL and I would not generally recommend therapy specifically for AB/DL to anyone unless it was interfering with their life or causing severe distress.

    On the other hand, many of us struggle with mental/mood issues and, from my experience, therapy can really help in managing these. In some cases, I suspect that it might help the therapeutic relationship if the AB/DL stuff was part of the discussion. In others (my own included) I suspect that it would only be a distraction.

    You are likely to have seen this in the "Is my fetish unhealthy…" thread.


    Quote Originally Posted by cm90210 View Post
    In the big picture though, I know talking about kicking the habit is one thing -- actually getting rid of it is entirely different. It isn't at all the same as just choosing to drop it for me. I've tried. Years of counseling and intense CBT proved ineffective. So while I might give it up if I could -- I really don't think it's possible.
    Was this therapy specifically directed at getting beyond your DL/AB behaviors?

    My wife and I were discussing the attitudes of therapists towards DL the other night. My expectation is that most would be "if it isn't screwing up your life, why worry." Her take was that, particularly if the DL was still a teenager (or younger), the therapist would work intensively to get them to abandon (or at least delay) their need. Given the risks of being a teenager, I don't disagree in that case; I think it falls into the "(very likely to be) screwing up your life" category.

    Having said that, my wife is a therapist (but certainly not mine) and she is in the "this is clearly not screwing up your (i.e., my) life, in fact it is making it better" camp.

    I also have gone through a couple of rounds of long-term, pretty intensive therapy for bipolar II and recurrent major depression. But I never mentioned my DL side to the therapists. I was in bad enough shape in other ways that I expect their response would have been "let's put that on the shelf and come back to it when we know you're likely to survive".

    So here are the questions I've been thinking about:
    • Have you ever worked with a therapist on DL/AB related issues?
    • Did you start seeing the therapist specifically to deal with these issues, or did they come up in the course of therapy for other issues?
    • What was their response?
    • Did you seek out therapy yourself, or were you encouraged or coerced into it?
    • How old were you at the time?


    As I say, I'm not as interested in the specific answers as I am in the discussion they might spark. So don't limit yourself to this list.

  2. #2

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    In 6th grade I was seeing a therapist and I started to talk about my obsession with diapers. She told me they were bulky and even babies don't like wearing them so they try and take them off. I am not sure how I managed to get over it and have the desires blocked. She also said to my mom and so did my psychiatrist that they take me back to childhood so that was why I wanted to wear them.

    In high school, I was seeing another therapist and he thought diapers were not okay and he called it regression. He also compared them to guns and drugs. I realize he is right they are like drugs because they are addictive and it's hard to quit and you get the urges to do it when you do stop.

    The ones I saw as an adult found it all interesting and didn't see anything wrong with it.

    Now that I have kids, I think I would be too afraid to tell any therapist if I were to see one.

  3. #3

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    I talked to my therapist about AB/DL two years ago and I brought it up.

    The important part is having a therapist that you are comfortable talking to.

    Mine was very understanding and I wound up educating here about the infantilism, but she is trained in paraphilia.

    The outcome was that we turned the whole situation on its ear and made it into a recognized coping mechanism, and set the boundaries for is just a thing and it becoming an obsession.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico
    In 6th grade I was seeing a therapist and I started to talk about my obsession with diapers. She told me they were bulky and even babies don't like wearing them so they try and take them off. I am not sure how I managed to get over it and have the desires blocked. She also said to my mom and so did my psychiatrist that they take me back to childhood so that was why I wanted to wear them.

    In high school, I was seeing another therapist and he thought diapers were not okay and he called it regression. He also compared them to guns and drugs. I realize he is right they are like drugs because they are addictive and it's hard to quit and you get the urges to do it when you do stop.

    The ones I saw as an adult found it all interesting and didn't see anything wrong with it.
    ...
    I wonder if the difference between your experiences with the therapists now and when you were younger is simply because you were relatively young (as in my wife's perspective)? I also think there is a possibility that, if you started seeing the therapist because of behavior problems, they may just take a hard line on all less-than-fully socialized behavior.

    As far as addiction is concerned, it's another topic, but I think compulsion is more accurate. One doesn't develop AB/DL behaviors because one tried it once for the heck of it. (Although, that may explain the free-samples---first one's always free.)



    Quote Originally Posted by egor View Post
    I talked to my therapist about AB/DL two years ago and I brought it up.
    ...

    The outcome was that we turned the whole situation on its ear and made it into a recognized coping mechanism, and set the boundaries for is just a thing and it becoming an obsession.
    Great therapist, man. You're very fortunate.
    Did you bring it up because you were worried about it? Or thought it might be relevant to whatever else you were discussing? Or just because you could?
    Last edited by adasterix; 01-Jul-2014 at 19:50. Reason: grammar

  5. #5

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    I was seeing a therapist in 5th grade because of social issues I was having and I was dealing with depression at the time and couldn't move on anymore from my hurt feelings due to hormone changes from puberty. Plus my mom didn't know what to do with me because she didn't know what I had then. I am sure the school didn't know how to handle me either and I had behavior issues and it was caused by my anxiety.

    In high school it was because I was confused and angry and dealing with lot of anxiety and depression and it was different kind of therapy than I had as a preteen. I also saw him for social issues. I remember having grudges and hurt feelings from my past and it would come up in new situations.

    My school counselor knew nothing about my diapers because I never told him and he was a bad therapist anyway so my mom fired him. He was also part of my confusion and I remember the contradictions i would get because my school counselor would say this and my therapist would say the opposite so it was like a game to me. Going back and forth seeing what each other say contradicting each other and I remember thinking my therapist was an idiot. I remember my mom saying if he makes me angry, it's because he is doing his job.

    Diapers were never the main thing why I saw a shrink. They would get brought up later, especially when it became a problem in 6th grade. I think my parents were trying to fix it by trying to get my problems taken care of and help me so I would lose my diaper desires. After all, before you can do something about something, you have to know what is causing it first and why someone does it and then you try and find the solution to take care of that issue. All I did with my diaper desires was go in the closet because I was under the belief it was sick and no one would marry me and I wouldn't be able to live a normal life and diapers would take away my bladder control even though I thought I could just re potty train myself. Now I know it's not that simple when you're an adult and by age 12 I am sure my badder was already fully developed by that time. I was in 6th grade so my parents were just trying to protect me from being bullied even more and teased even more and it was bad enough I was already depressed and wanted to be normal and be treated like everyone else and I was already suicidal so why make it even worse for me you know? Plus my mom thought the whole diaper thing was sick and twisted and disgusting and I thought it was a fact than her opinion. I still looked up to her like a young child so everything he said was true and all fact of life. Then I felt bad about myself and went in the closet with it thinking I was over it and no longer into it. Living in denial made me feel good about myself. I am not sure if my mom even knows what I have been through with this.

  6. #6

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    I see a therapist. She says as long as it relaxes me then don't change

  7. #7
    soggyboy

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    Ya know how sometimes that you just know that you're going to get flamed for saying something but you say it anyway? This is one of those times.

    IMHO therapy is a joke and a waste of time.

    The fact that you can see different experts who will base their treatment/diagnosis as to how they perceive it, but completely different from other experts who are just as qualified as them says it all.

    That says to me there is no absolute right or wrong way, and you are paying big money just for somebody else's opinion.

    And yes, I did see a therapist as a child, albeit briefly.

    Ask yourself, "Am I looking for help to change, or looking for justification of my behaviour?"

    That's a hard question to answer with brutal honesty.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by soggyboy View Post
    Ya know how sometimes that you just know that you're going to get flamed for saying something but you say it anyway? This is one of those times.
    No flames.
    Best of luck to you.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by soggyboy View Post
    Ya know how sometimes that you just know that you're going to get flamed for saying something but you say it anyway? This is one of those times.

    IMHO therapy is a joke and a waste of time.

    The fact that you can see different experts who will base their treatment/diagnosis as to how they perceive it, but completely different from other experts who are just as qualified as them says it all.

    That says to me there is no absolute right or wrong way, and you are paying big money just for somebody else's opinion.

    And yes, I did see a therapist as a child, albeit briefly.

    Ask yourself, "Am I looking for help to change, or looking for justification of my behaviour?"

    That's a hard question to answer with brutal honesty.

    Some people need someone who they can rant to and talk about their issues over and over without doing it online or to anyone in real life making people mad and annoyed. Plus some people feel confused and need some understanding.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    Some people need someone who they can rant to and talk about their issues over and over without doing it online or to anyone in real life making people mad and annoyed. Plus some people feel confused and need some understanding.
    To add to that, I find helpful that I talk to someone WITHOUT them feeling like it's their job fix a problem or make it go away.

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