Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: gender queer

  1. #1

    Default gender queer

    I've been thinking a lot about what gender I truly identify with and my sexuality. I feel like I'm both male and female and I like girls and sometimes when my feminine side is showing I may find a guy cute. My issue is I want to appear more gender neutral and appear as both genders or at least be able to walk around as a girl comfortably. I don't feel comfortable around my friends switched because most of them see it as being gay even though I'm straight. Even around my gay friends I don't really feel comfortable being "out." How can I become more comfortable?

  2. #2

    Default

    Your experiences sound quite similar to the bigender experiences I've come across lately. If you are just coming to terms with a newly discovered side of yourself, you are going to have some difficulties for sure.

    To be more comfortable with this side of yourself takes an effort to actually explore and get to know it. It builds confidence by helping you figure out who you are and where you stand. Your uneasiness so far is part of that. Take the time in private to experiment with different kinds of dress or behaviors you wish to express so you can get a little comfortable in your own skin in what feels right.

    As a personal example, I identify as a cross-dresser but I also have similar desires to dress somewhat femme in conjunction with masculine style of dress to sort of achieve a gender-queer like expression. Other times I just want to dress like a girl. And that happened very recently. It's an adventure!

    Starting off small helps. Painting toes, wearing bows and headbands, earrings, ect. You can remove them and conceal them at will and still get a little of that pent up desire satisfied. If you're by yourself, dressing in full blown girls clothes for a few hours is fun. Lately I'll either dress as a drag queen for a party or something more subtle to sort of give myself the excuse to get into it.

    Work on knowing you first is my advice and take a step at a time. It also helps to have friends that don't really give a damn and your own space to do it whenever you want. There's actually a cross-dressing group in my area, perhaps there's one in your's.

    To me personally, after time you start to care less and less if people think you are one of the two ends of the sexual spectrum. But that's partially due to my bisexual politics being full throttle lately. Nonetheless, you can be straight and be genderqueer or as this lovely blog calls it, "gynephillic."

    Sexual Orientation for the Genderqueer Person
    Last edited by Geno; 01-Jul-2014 at 04:51.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by babyboydj View Post
    I've been thinking a lot about what gender I truly identify with and my sexuality."..."..." How can I become more comfortable?




    Quote Originally Posted by Geno View Post
    Your experiences sound quite similar to the bigender experiences I've come across lately. "..."..."
    I don't know how I could improve on what Geno said here... I'm still working on a draft reply to this, that I started this morning...

    Where I'm trying to 'buck' the binary gender social constructs myself, I'm somewhat at odds with portraying the more stereotypical roles too...

    I would hope that it's gotten much better by now, but bisexuality didn't go over well with either hetero, or gay communities either, but bigender does seem rather apt...

    But, basically... be who you are for the moment, as Geno says (paraphrase) it takes time and experimenting a bit to figure this out... made that much more challenging if one doesn't land neatly into the more well known, and better understood labels...

    Keep talking... we'll figure something out!


    -Marka

  4. #4

    Default

    The only thing that sucks is my ex is the only person that I was comfortable with and she is gone now

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by babyboydj View Post
    The only thing that sucks is my ex is the only person that I was comfortable with and she is gone now
    It sucks that it happened but ya never know what will happen. Talk to some of your gay friends if they know any drag queens. They will hook you up and maybe even help you with makeup for a night hehe Take her slow. Sleep on things.

  6. #6

    Default

    That's just it I don't see it as a drag type thing I feel as if I truly am both male and female to the point that my ex called me by my female name and even my bff will sometimes call me sammie if I get to girly (she knows but hasn't seen me in girl clothes) I kinda want to live as sammie fully tho for a while to bad that I can't change bodies.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by babyboydj View Post
    That's just it I don't see it as a drag type thing I feel as if I truly am both male and female to the point that my ex called me by my female name and even my bff will sometimes call me sammie if I get to girly (she knows but hasn't seen me in girl clothes) I kinda want to live as sammie fully tho for a while to bad that I can't change bodies.
    I meant that in jest as drag queens are great with makeup hahaha...

    No I know what you mean actually. You have these two different gendered personas/facets of ya wish you could switch back and forth yes? Cause you actually feel both? Like I said earlier, perhaps try in private a sort of half way as living your other gender self.

  8. #8

    Default

    I need new girl clothes and panties that fit where should I go walmart is uncomfortable and vs is expensive idk I'm trying to let me girl side out but I need help

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by babyboydj View Post
    I need new girl clothes and panties that fit where should I go walmart is uncomfortable and vs is expensive idk I'm trying to let me girl side out but I need help
    When you say "..walmart is uncomfortable...", are you talking about the fact that the clothing you have found in Walmart is uncomfortable for you to wear or are you saying you are uncomfortable shopping in Walmart?

    The reason I ask is that my answer depends on that reason.

    If the clothing is uncomfortable in Walmart, you can try Target. I get most of my clothing there. I also sometimes shop at Kohl's. Of course, there are other places and the web.

    If the shopping experience is uncomfortable in Walmart, I'm not sure any other store is going to be any better. As I said above, I like Kohl's and Target. Otherwise, the web would be your best bet.

Similar Threads

  1. Gender, little's & psychiatrists..... Oh my!
    By littlelodgewrecker in forum Sissy / Girls
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 23-May-2012, 03:39
  2. Gender role and AB/DL?
    By Moonlight in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 28-May-2011, 05:54
  3. which gender goodnites?
    By 8ball in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 06-Jan-2011, 17:01

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.