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Thread: to keep the peace

  1. #1

    Default to keep the peace

    Ive had some outbursts of anger lately, Ive explained my malfunction but was notified this morning that I am becoming a problem, so in order to keep everyone else happy and to avoid conflicts in the future I will no longer post on any thread or topic, I will become just a lurker, while I don't think I fit in anymore and that Im just a problem when I post on this site, I can still take some solace in just reading the posts of other people that share a little in common with me, Im very alone, more than I have ever been in my whole life, so any comfort is needed, I have one last thing to say, protect your brain, wear helmets, be careful out there, traumatic brain injuries are invisible to everyone except the person suffering, and it is uncommon to find anyone who can really empathize, please avoid ending up like me, death may be preferable.

  2. #2


    Unless a mod told you this I would not pay too much attention. I have not noticed you being destructive to topics or anything and I've found your posts interesting. I don't want you to feel alienated right now because you already said you've been very lonely lately. I think losing contact with a support group would make your problems and loneliness a lot worse. So please stick around. I would like you to keep posting. I'm aware that you have an issue with the frontal lobe, so I always keep that in mind if you get emotionally charged. I know you're working with it the best you can. Anyway, just letting you know I don't want you to go away. *hugs*

  3. #3


    Here is a tip, when you start to flip out on people or get too upset, just leave the thread and not go back to it. If you start to get angry and flip out, don't post.

  4. #4


    Taking a quick look at as much as I can see. I do not find any grounds for you to worry. You have a reputation point so you are being recognized for your contributions. Like Frogsy said if the mods have not paid a visit then you are not in any trouble.

    To me the fact that you can start a thread of this type would tell me the direct opposite of your concern.

    So an Kudos to you for recognizing the issue and dealing with it.

    In stead of stop posting may I make a suggestion that I do and if I feel a negative response is needed I make a note to myself and move on for at least 10 minutes. Then compose a response in your head (or write it down if needed), then go back and reread the thread and when you feel calm post your response.

    In to cases someone else said the same thing I wanted to and I just second the opinion. Then in one case the thread was closed and the person was banned about a week later.

    I do this and I also need to do grounding exercises when I am having a hard day. It is a pain in the "Hum" Neck but then I am in control and no body is pushing me.

    It sounds to me you are doing a good job, but you are not getting told enough.

    So kudos to you and I hope you stay. I have read several of your threads and I do not see where anything has been wrong.

    We are a support group and we are here to help you. If you need someone to talk to PM someone you fell comfortable talking to and just ask if they mind if you vent.
    I have done it to three people here and I have also just wrote my thoughts down in a blog and started it off with a warning that it was "a venom detox blog, so read at your own risk"

    Good luck and please keep up your good work.


    Just for you

  5. #5


    Also, if someone "attacks" your post, step back and wait before posting an answer. Also, if you're really offended by the opposer's comment, click the "!" button and let a mod handle it, if s/he thinks it's offensive they will send them a message. Most of the time I see volleying back and forth and eventually one will eventually say there was a misunderstanding and the two sides will shake hands, so to speak.

    Keep posting! You can't please all of the people all of the time!

  6. #6


    thank you all for caring and the advice, I wish it was always that simple, I don't trust myself anymore, I know Im prone to emotional outbursts, I might post once in a while, but I think its better if I just kept quiet, Ive been fighting to control my emotions since I got hurt and lost many friends, and it hurts so deep inside to be like this, I can never describe what it is like to wake up happy to go to work one day, proud of your high tech job, and the people that depend on you, only to wake up in a hospital with no memory of why or how you got there, and your missing an eye, and your locked up in the mental ward of a hospital, can't leave, can barely get out of bed without a bunch of alarms going off, getting assaulted and pinned down and restrained, I fell much farther than just the 20-30feet on the records that day I fell from my life itself, I fell from grace, to find myself in my own little hell. Im still trying to find my way out, and like blind cornered animal I tend to lash out, even at those trying to help me.
    In some ways I truly have regressed, at least emotionally, and its not all its cracked up to be, I have no one to take care of me the way I want to be, and thats all my fault, I was always to busy with work and my dogs to really attach myself to anyone, I had my chances, a girl who liked me, but got bored of me and was disgusted with the diaper thing, and a boy who sorta liked me, let me baby him, but I was to busy and messed things up and he found someone else. that was all before I was damaged goods, Im not sure anyone would ever really want to deal with a brain damaged 37 year old who wets the bed likes diapers and being little or taking care of other littles, though lately I just want to be held and taken care of, while at the same time wanting my adult life back, I grew a long beard since I got hurt, for months I couldn't shave because my neck was damaged, I eventually had surgery to remove a disc and fuse my spine, it left a scar across my throat that I don't like to look at so Im keeping the beard, though it does look strange on a guy wearing a bambino diaper.
    I remember barely being able to diaper myself when I got home, my right arm was messed up right wrist was in a cast(7 months later they found out my shoulder was broken and frozen in place, it never really recovered even after surgery) I nearly asked a friend to just help with the damn tapes but he was way to uncomfortable with that, so I adapted as best I could, and wasted a lot of diapers trying to get them on right and had many leaks.
    I at least can properly diaper myself now though the tapes still come out at weird non symmetrical angles, and I had to drop bambino after the last batch didn't fit me anymore and switched to the small dry24/7, between January 2012 and January 2013 I lost about 50 pounds, I was not fat, I was 5'8" 195 pounds, could do 150 pushups a day (3 sets of 50) along with some work with 35 pound dumbbells, I weigh 150 pounds now, not sure if I lost any height, I probably lost a little from the discectomy and fusion of c6 and c7. I can't do a pushup anymore, and Im stuck on 10 pound dumbbells.

    I guess I should be grateful to be alive, to be able to walk, to talk, to live alone, and to see anything. I have met people much worse off than me in Rehab, folks that couldn't walk and had to relearn, folks stuck in wheelchairs, watched nursing staff escort people to the bathroom on a schedule to try to re-potty train them, met people with far worse aphasia than mine, people who I couldn't understand the words coming out of their mouths. And Im very grateful to at least be in my own home, I nearly lost it due to the financial hardship but charities helped me out, I could of been stuck in a group home, with people telling me what to do and how to do it, or trying to ween me off the diapers at night, and give me bed wetter alarms( I had to lie and say the bedwetting wasn't a big issue and about the frequency of it).

    As I said earlier Im going to try my best to avoid posting, Ive seen hell and it has marked my soul, and its going to take a very long time till I truly recover, if I ever do, some people get worse, Im scared of that, I have a much higher chance of getting Parkinson's, Alzheimer's or dying from a status seizure, I put myself at risk just living alone, but I don't think anyone could stand me at this point in my life, nor do I think I could tolerate to much intrusion.

    Its better for the forum and everyone if I keep my posts and opinions to a minimum, maybe one day I will have better control of myself and I can post more freely. I do need the social support of other diaper lovers, Adult babies, caretakers, and people that get this odd desire we all seem to share to some degree, I had some people in real life that still mean a lot to me, but they either moved on and found someone that was more suited for them, living out in the country never helped.

  7. #7


    Very commendable for standing up and saying so. I've never had a run in with you so consider it a "clean slate." Well-wishes.

  8. #8


    Aby, I've read a number of your posts in the last few months and I seriously hope you will reconsider your stance on this. Other people in this thread have given some good advice on how to deal with issues when you become angry with people. I hope you will stay with us and give their suggestions a chance.

    My main reason for hoping you'll remain active here is simply because I have learned so much from you. I really believe a lot of us here have learned from you, not only about brain injuries and the impact it can have on a person's life, but also the daily struggles you face. You've also highlighted some our shortcomings and taught us how to be a bit more understanding and sensitive to disabilities. Message received. I've said it before and I'll say it again. This place needs you!!!! Please take some time and consider this.

  9. #9


    thanks Im working on coping, the part of my brain that controlled my coping mechanism was damaged in the fall, Im not leaving the site, but Im going to be very very cautious about what, and when, I post, Im kinda dealing with PTSD(self diagnosed, if you had seen and experienced what I have you wouldn't need a doctor to say you have PTSD) so yesterday was a bad day, I tried to put it behind me but got noticed by a mod and it spent me back into a downward spiral, Im leveling out and trying to talk another friend with TBI out of suicide, we have a high suicide percentage, no one like to have their very identity ripped into pieces.
    Thank you for caring, I apologize for being over dramatic and emotional.

  10. #10


    I read and avoided alot of your posts as we all have issues as i am no different I see you have reasons and issues for them!! I have limited dealing with brain injury but will give you my experience, after my divorce i dated a women for a year that had a brain injury she was hit from behind by a concrete truck and spent 4 months in a coma she is now after deticating her life to brain injuries a major factor in running the New Hampshire Brain Injury Association that is state funded and non profit!!! most states have them. does your state have one? she finds all the help that can be done for injuries. again i dont know your situation and will not comment on your negitive posts as i am not one to judge someone or something i dont know about!!! so i see your posts as reaching for help and only wish i could be more helpful

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