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Thread: Ladies i have a question for you about friendships with guys

  1. #1

    Default Ladies i have a question for you about friendships with guys

    So for a long time now i have been trying to make new female friends.
    This year alone i lost the women i love to something she thought i did was wrong and i lost a good female friend due to her boyfriend asking her to stop being my friend.

    I have been trying different sites and it's been tough.
    Tried fetlife and mainly the women on there seem to be jerks towards guys and i guess i get it most of the men on there can be creepy and weird but most dont want to give a guy a chance. The women that do i have found only 2% of them are nice and stable the others have problems when a women ask me if im ok with the fact she has a secret relationship with her half brother thats where i think maybe its not me but them.

    I tired ChristianMingle and i ask to be friends and get to know them and they get to know me and i get messages always i dont think were a good fit.
    How does a brief profile tell them that im not a good fit as a friend.

    Frankly im not a huge fan on having guy friends. Its more the competition side of guys bragging about what they got or can do that makes it hard for me to be friends with them.
    I think having women friends can help a guy become a better man.
    Also part of me just needs to see that more women can accept me for who i am. I guess deep down being into diapers i feel like not many women will accept me for that and it scares me.

    Its hard making new female friends with all these things i have experienced. Im not sure how i go about doing it these day. Any advice you ladies have will be helpful and i thank you for it.

    Thank you for taking the time in reading this and for any responses. God Bless

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by DeathScorpion View Post
    So for a long time now i have been trying to make new female friends.
    This year alone i lost the women i love to something she thought i did was wrong and i lost a good female friend due to her boyfriend asking her to stop being my friend.

    I have been trying different sites and it's been tough.
    Tried fetlife and mainly the women on there seem to be jerks towards guys and i guess i get it most of the men on there can be creepy and weird but most dont want to give a guy a chance. The women that do i have found only 2% of them are nice and stable the others have problems when a women ask me if im ok with the fact she has a secret relationship with her half brother thats where i think maybe its not me but them.
    Not a women but curious, what do you message them? I've never ran into anyone really being a jerk when I've sent a message on FL, some people don't respond but that's okay because they don't have to (I figure they are looking for something else, don't think it'd be a fit, etc. etc.).

    Further wondering if it's the initial message considering what you said about ChristianMingle, I'd hazard a guess that might be what they are basing it on, or in some cases the "not a good fit" is nice for "don't want to talk to you." (it happens).

  3. #3

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    Personally, I like the face to face meetings. Have you tried joining a club in your area? I see you like movies in your profile. Do you go by yourself? Do you ask women in the lobby afterwards how they liked the movie? You said you tried Christian Mingle. Do you go to a church? Some denominations have single mingles. Just start off by saying "Hi". And then find something to compliment on like earrings, dress, etc. Do all the small talk - where you from originally, where do you work... And if a woman is interested in you, the questions will come back to you. Do not rush a kink into a conversation until your friendship is well established, if then.

    No I'm not a woman but I have several female friends. My best friend is a woman - my wife. Good luck and keep us posted!

  4. #4
    dreamworld1000

    Default

    Hey most of my friends are guys I'd love to talk and be friends

  5. #5

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    The thing with friendship is that it's not something you need to go out and seek with all the formality you would when trying to find a significant other. It's a by-product of developing shared, platonic rapport with people you share an interest with. And it's so much easier in person.

    When you're on the internet, sometimes people don't seem quite real. It's easy to have an email conversation going for weeks on end, and one day, POOF, never hear from them again. I'm not saying it happens all the time, or that it's impossible to forge/sustain friendships online… My best friend of over two years is an amazing woman who lives 800 miles away from me, after all… But in-person, real time is the best, I think.

    Meetup.com is a good resource for finding local people into almost any sort of hobby you can think of. Where sites like Facebook primarily cater to online chat, Meetup.com focuses on going out and doing things, like hiking or bowling. It may be something worth looking into. Or like zipperless said, church can be a good place to seek friendship. If you live in a big city, or near one, chances are you can find a congregation with a varied social calendar. I have no shame in saying that I have a primary church I attend, but also go to a larger one as well just to take advantage of their social groups and activities.

    ChristianMingle is a dating site. Respectfully, there will be a lot of women both apprehensive and suspicious of men who message them through that avenue wanting ~ friendship. On sites like that, the word can be an inadvertent mixed signal that you have to be careful with. It's a good idea to do your best to make your intentions known.

  6. #6

    Default

    Hey Guys I am replying for DeathScorpion. He can not really get on here much so he wanted me to thank you all for your support and advice.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by zipperless View Post
    No I'm not a woman but I have several female friends.
    I spent the entire post thinking "wait... he's not a dude?".

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