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Thread: My opinion on the relation between Asperger's Syndrome and Autism.

  1. #1

    Default My opinion on the relation between Asperger's Syndrome and Autism.

    I'm not trying to start a flame war. This is just something I've wanted to get off my chest for a while.
    I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and Tourettes (Somewhat noticable tics, not "FUCK SHIT PISS" Tourettes). I absolutely hate saying it. The way I see it, Asperger's is nothing to be ashamed of.
    Nothing to be proud of.
    Nothing to use as an excuse to get out of trouble.
    Of course, everyone sees these things differently.
    I know everybody's different, and that technically Asperger's is on the autism spectrum. But when people with "mild" Asperger's try to get out of trouble or otherwise use it as an excuse to act like a douchbag or a creep, and say things like "I can't help it, I have autism!"- That pisses me off so much.
    I don't see how this set of traits gives people the right to compare themselves to those who have legitimate struggles. I don't like to identify myself as an "aspie", I think I'm a normal person just like everybody else besides being kinda awkward (Again, just one of my traits). I don't like the idea of "taking a stand for aspies".
    In school I had interests; Guns and hunting. I got in trouble for talking about guns and my hunting trips to my friends. (Even before Columbine, some of the staff were overly sensitive to the topic. Of course, this was a few years after the L.A. riots.) Not murder or violence. Just things like "Dude, the stock on my 10/22 looks awesome!".
    Meanwhile, there was another kid who would touch other students' asses, threaten people for no reason, treat a kid with legitimate autism like shit. Think that's bad?
    He would smack it in the middle of fucking class.
    Criminal threatening, harassment, sexual harassment, and indecent fucking exposure. But no, he never got in trouble. He was considered autistic. He could get away with anything for being a "special snowflake". Bullying wasn't illegal yet (This was around 1995 or so) but we still got in trouble for calling him out on his bullshit.
    Sorry if I made any mistakes, and sorry if I'm rambling, it's 4:30 in the morning and I didn't have much else to do. But what are your thoughts?

  2. #2

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    It also pisses me off when autistic (any ASD) people get away with murder (figuratively speaking). My mom never let me get away with anything. I was always given consequences and my mom wouldn't allow anyone to treat me disabled. Also I have noticed abusers have no excuse for abuse but autistic people do and their abuse is always blamed on the victim while with other abusers, it's not their victims fault for their abuse but it is for the victims who get abuse from an autistic person. Yeah when I was in my teens, I knew a kid who had ODD and he was nothing but a bully and he abused his mother to get his way but whenever his dad was home, he acted different because he didn't let him treat him that way and he didn't act that way at my house in front of me but did to my brothers and when he threw an ax at my brothers and his friends, he was immediately hospitalized but yet on wrongplanet, I read a post by a mother and she is being abused by her aspie daughter but also refuses to try and hospitalize her and continues endangering her other daughter's life and they have to lock themselves in a room and their aspie daughter tries to knock the door down and has broken some door frames. But yet when I was 16, my mother told me if I hit her again, I am going to a hospital so I stopped trying to have ODD ha just to get my way so I can be all calm. I was so pissed in that thread I told the mother to just go ahead and continue getting abused by her daughter and endangering her other kid's life. I get so sick of reading about abuse and autism and violence being connected to it. I read about a violent kid online and then autism always gets brought up about the kid possibly having it and it pisses me off. The ODD boy had autism too and he had been in and out of hospitals for his violence. The 13 year old girl gets pissed when she can't abuse her sister and her mother so she pounds on the door to try and break it down and she refuses to try and calm herself down and take her mother's advice because she has AS, she thinks everyone has to put up with her and her abuse and thinks she doesn't have to get better. Hopefully she will grow out of using it as an excuse like I did. Put in mind I did grow up being in special ed and I was in a special program so kids were allowed to be inappropriate and I am so glad I didn't know I had a disability and I am so glad I knew nothing about AS when I was first diagnosed with it nor knew it was a disability then or else I would have used it as an excuse and think rules don't apply and I shouldn't have to be appropriate just because I was surrounded by disable kids getting away with things so I would think I should have that privileged too. Talk about being literal and I remember being so confused about it in high school and then my therapist told me what those parents are doing and teachers, it's wrong. Letting autistics get their way because they dislike change and have a routine and have others live around it and have everyone else suffer, wrong he told me all wrong because what does it teach them? Heck even Temple Grandin wasn't allowed to act up and be inappropriate when she was growing up. Yeah people on the autistic spectrum don't like her because she is known for "autism is no excuse for poor table manners." I like to use that quote as a metaphor to mean just because you have autism doesn't give you the right to be a douche and to not learn social skills and learn how to be flexible and deal with change. Yeah Temple has been not well liked for it in the autism community. Sadly it's not uncommon for special needs to get away with murder from their parents and teachers.

    I am pretty much private about my dx except for online.

    Well I have ranted enough. Thanks for the topic.
    Last edited by Calico; 26-Jun-2014 at 21:15.

  3. #3

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    I think the only kind of excuse that's acceptable is stuff like:
    I'm sorry but I only have one arm left after the amputation, so I can't lift this object.

    Any other type of disability doesn't really absolve you of having to give things a try if you're not physically incapable.
    I mean, Forrest Gump, for God's sake

    It's better to be proud of what you've mastered despite your shortcomings than capriciously insisting on not doing things because you're XXX (insert at will: autistic, ADD, depressed, psychotic, whatever).

    Life's a bitch and if you yourself won't put a leash on it, it's not going to go your way.

  4. #4

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    Excuse means avoiding taking responsibility and trying to find your way out of things and to not work on it to get better.

    I wouldn't call it an excuse if someone can't do PE because they had knee surgery because it implies they are capable but are just choosing to not do it. But that isn't the case there.

  5. #5
    CrinklySiren

    Default

    Thank you so much for this ~ thank you because you are someone who has asperger's and is saying it... I've been wanting to say something to this degree for a long while, but I kept my mouth shut to avoid getting raged on, so I'm really glad to see someone say it... it drives me up a fucking wall... I have friends with siblings who have aspergers or are autistic, and they live normal fucking lives with the exception that they too are just a little bit awkward, but still equally normal and cool people... when people use autism or aspergers to get away with shit, or to bait pity, i find it disgusting.

    People need to stop treating autism like its schizophrenia or mental retardation >_< because it really fucking isnt. I've known many autistic/aspie people who were just like anyone else... I've met INTROVERTS with NO KNOWN MEDICAL CONDITION OR DEVELOPMENTAL CONDITION who strike me as crazier than any autistic person i've ever met, but i've also spoken to many people who think that "they can't help but be insufferable assholes, its not their fault", its nothing but enabler-based bullshit... after years of enabling, of course they're gonna start believing the bullshit.

    I have a really high respect for autistic/asperger people who don't put themselves in limited boxes made by society and media. The way I see it, the more disorders you deal with and still live a bitchin' life, the bigger your middle finger to society is ;D

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    Excuse means avoiding taking responsibility and trying to find your way out of things and to not work on it to get better.

    I wouldn't call it an excuse if someone can't do PE because they had knee surgery because it implies they are capable but are just choosing to not do it. But that isn't the case there.
    That is actually incorrect.
    Please see the definition of excuse in Merriam-Webter's dictionary:
    Excuse - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary

  7. #7

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    Wow, there's a surprising amount of backlash for anyone with a mental limitation in this thread. I agree that ASD should not be used as an excuse for being rude. It can be used to explain and apologize when a person did not understand a social cue, and then that person should hopefully try to compensate. For example, some people said that I seemed uninterested in them because I was not making eye contact when they were talking. So I explained that I have problems with that, I apologized, and I tried to make eye contact more often in the future. But hopefully, with my explanation, they realized that it didn't mean I didn't like them and I really was listening to them. So if I still don't do it as much as regular people do (and I don't...) then people's feelings will be a lot less hurt when they realize it's not their fault/problem.

    That being said, there is this sentiment running through this thread that is something like: People with cancer obviously need medical help, but fuck people with mental illness. Get off your pathetic, lazy ass, and stop your bitching. It reminds me of this comic. I'm sorry, but I see mental illness as a problem. Do any of you actually suffer from one? I had anxiety and panic attacks so bad that I had to quit my job. Twice. I tried again to work and took it as slowly as I could, only two days per week, and the panic escalated out of control. I attempted one day a week. It became nearly impossible. Right now, I am having to build myself back slowly by going out shopping, and leaving the house through walks or short visits out. I still can't eat in a restaurant, go to a movie, go bowling, or take a fun class. I can't even sit and quietly read in a library yet. I wish I could, and I'm missing out on so much fun and so much life. But I just can't do it. If you think I'm lazy, then you can know that in order to try to get everyone I loved Christmas presents I took the only job I could do online, making about 2.50 an hour, and managed to make 200 dollars for gifts between October and Christmas.

    I'm sorry, it really hurts when people say a broken arm is real but depression/anxiety etc., is not. You have no idea if you have not had it yourself. I am sorry that you can't see depression the way that you can see a broken arm, but don't you dare victim blame. People with mental illness already are saddened and disheartened by their problems. They don't also need to be called losers, burdens, and worthless by everyone else. All of the times I've been suicidal it has been because I viewed myself as a burden on society and everyone else. Someone who couldn't pull it together. I know what that feels like. Don't you dare make other people with mental illness feel worse than they already do. They can not help their brain chemistry any more than a person with cancer can cure themselves by some positive thinking.

  8. #8

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    I also think we can't always fault people for using theirs as an excuse. The parents usually enable it and teachers. If you treat the child disabled and like a label, they will act like the label instead of themselves. They will also be taught to use it as an excuse if you use it to hold them back and telling them they can't do things just because the book said so and the internet. No one should be treated like a label, they should be treated as them and only focus on what their difficulties are. It's sad how some parents hold their ASD kids back and don't even bother to teach them basic social skills or give them a push in life. I read it's is difficult for parents to tell how much they should push and how far they should teach them and when they should punish them because they don't want to punish them for things they can't help or for something that was caused by their disability.

    I have noticed it seems like with older aspies who are in their adulthood, are successful and have normal lives because they didn't have an "excuse" the for their weirdness and quirkiness and the struggles they had. But yet it seems like younger aspies are struggling and also because times have changed for getting a job so it has created roadblocks for people with disabilities. It used to be back then anyone could get a job and anyone was hired and then people got less trusting so it's harder to get one now. No one wants to hire a pedophile or a sex offender or a criminal or anyone who could steal from them so they have all this reference crap and cover letters and recommendations and work experience and that creates roadblocks for me and other ASD people.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Bongolino View Post
    That is actually incorrect.
    Please see the definition of excuse in Merriam-Webter's dictionary:
    Excuse - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary
    I see you used it in a literal sense. When people use it, they don't mean it by the dictionary term so "excuse" has a stigma to it when it's used so people will say they don't use it as an excuse even if they are in literal sense. Same as if they get accused as such so they take offense to it when they get told they are using it as an excuse even though it's legitimate.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    Wow, there's a surprising amount of backlash for anyone with a mental limitation in this thread. I agree that ASD should not be used as an excuse for being rude. It can be used to explain and apologize when a person did not understand a social cue, and then that person should hopefully try to compensate. For example, some people said that I seemed uninterested in them because I was not making eye contact when they were talking. So I explained that I have problems with that, I apologized, and I tried to make eye contact more often in the future. But hopefully, with my explanation, they realized that it didn't mean I didn't like them and I really was listening to them. So if I still don't do it as much as regular people do (and I don't...) then people's feelings will be a lot less hurt when they realize it's not their fault/problem.

    That being said, there is this sentiment running through this thread that is something like: People with cancer obviously need medical help, but fuck people with mental illness. Get off your pathetic, lazy ass, and stop your bitching. It reminds me of this comic. I'm sorry, but I see mental illness as a problem. Do any of you actually suffer from one? I had anxiety and panic attacks so bad that I had to quit my job. Twice. I tried again to work and took it as slowly as I could, only two days per week, and the panic escalated out of control. I attempted one day a week. It became nearly impossible. Right now, I am having to build myself back slowly by going out shopping, and leaving the house through walks or short visits out. I still can't eat in a restaurant, go to a movie, go bowling, or take a fun class. I can't even sit and quietly read in a library yet. I wish I could, and I'm missing out on so much fun and so much life. But I just can't do it. If you think I'm lazy, then you can know that in order to try to get everyone I loved Christmas presents I took the only job I could do online, making about 2.50 an hour, and managed to make 200 dollars for gifts between October and Christmas.

    I'm sorry, it really hurts when people say a broken arm is real but depression/anxiety etc., is not. You have no idea if you have not had it yourself. I am sorry that you can't see depression the way that you can see a broken arm, but don't you dare victim blame. People with mental illness already are saddened and disheartened by their problems. They don't also need to be called losers, burdens, and worthless by everyone else. All of the times I've been suicidal it has been because I viewed myself as a burden on society and everyone else. Someone who couldn't pull it together. I know what that feels like. Don't you dare make other people with mental illness feel worse than they already do. They can not help their brain chemistry any more than a person with cancer can cure themselves by some positive thinking.

    Thank you Frogsy for that. As someone with Mental Illnesses that really made me feel better.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    Wow, there's a surprising amount of backlash for anyone with a mental limitation in this thread. I agree that ASD should not be used as an excuse for being rude. It can be used to explain and apologize when a person did not understand a social cue, and then that person should hopefully try to compensate. For example, some people said that I seemed uninterested in them because I was not making eye contact when they were talking. So I explained that I have problems with that, I apologized, and I tried to make eye contact more often in the future. But hopefully, with my explanation, they realized that it didn't mean I didn't like them and I really was listening to them. So if I still don't do it as much as regular people do (and I don't...) then people's feelings will be a lot less hurt when they realize it's not their fault/problem.

    That being said, there is this sentiment running through this thread that is something like: People with cancer obviously need medical help, but fuck people with mental illness. Get off your pathetic, lazy ass, and stop your bitching. It reminds me of this comic. I'm sorry, but I see mental illness as a problem. Do any of you actually suffer from one? I had anxiety and panic attacks so bad that I had to quit my job. Twice. I tried again to work and took it as slowly as I could, only two days per week, and the panic escalated out of control. I attempted one day a week. It became nearly impossible. Right now, I am having to build myself back slowly by going out shopping, and leaving the house through walks or short visits out. I still can't eat in a restaurant, go to a movie, go bowling, or take a fun class. I can't even sit and quietly read in a library yet. I wish I could, and I'm missing out on so much fun and so much life. But I just can't do it. If you think I'm lazy, then you can know that in order to try to get everyone I loved Christmas presents I took the only job I could do online, making about 2.50 an hour, and managed to make 200 dollars for gifts between October and Christmas.

    I'm sorry, it really hurts when people say a broken arm is real but depression/anxiety etc., is not. You have no idea if you have not had it yourself. I am sorry that you can't see depression the way that you can see a broken arm, but don't you dare victim blame. People with mental illness already are saddened and disheartened by their problems. They don't also need to be called losers, burdens, and worthless by everyone else. All of the times I've been suicidal it has been because I viewed myself as a burden on society and everyone else. Someone who couldn't pull it together. I know what that feels like. Don't you dare make other people with mental illness feel worse than they already do. They can not help their brain chemistry any more than a person with cancer can cure themselves by some positive thinking.
    I don't see anyone doing that.

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