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Thread: I can't take it anymore

  1. #1

    Default I can't take it anymore

    So once again my mom jumps all over me because she believes I'm lazy. I didn't go with her Sunday to go work at her brothers all week, and her brother is pissed because of it. I tried explaining that I'm in school and I can't work my ass off in the heat all day and then go work in a machine shop all night. She claims I'm lazy and won't try. I WAS going to stay at home to help her with bills and my sister but no, not anymore. I'm moving out as soon as possible. She has no clue how devastating what she says is. If it wasn't for my babyfur brother calling me on the way home I probably would have killed myself. I'm just that sick of suffering

  2. #2
    CrinklySiren

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    Quote Originally Posted by VallenVulpiano View Post
    So once again my mom jumps all over me because she believes I'm lazy. I didn't go with her Sunday to go work at her brothers all week, and her brother is pissed because of it. I tried explaining that I'm in school and I can't work my ass off in the heat all day and then go work in a machine shop all night. She claims I'm lazy and won't try. I WAS going to stay at home to help her with bills and my sister but no, not anymore. I'm moving out as soon as possible. She has no clue how devastating what she says is. If it wasn't for my babyfur brother calling me on the way home I probably would have killed myself. I'm just that sick of suffering
    Please dont kill yourself over your family members being insufferable... we all deal with bullshit parental problems at some point and believe me when I say that they are temporary, you're still young and there are MANY more ways to get out of your situation that don't include offing yourself. Just try to relax and plan your next move.

  3. #3

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    Vallen, sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds tough and you clearly suffering a lot from it.

    Please do not do anything rash, the last thing you should do is think like you are. Please use your friend to work through your issues. You can get through this and you do not have to suffer alone. Please talk to people about this grab any help you can. I am no expert in these matters but I know others here are much better at helping with this.

  4. #4

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    I agree 100% with Emily. There is always another way. Sometimes it may seem like the only way out or the easiest but it isn't worth it. There is so much to live for out there, don't let someone else ruin that for you.

  5. #5

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    I'm sorry that you're going through such a hard time. That kind of criticism from a close family member can be very hurtful. It's good that you have a babyfur brother you can talk with.

    When you're going through a hard time, it can be very helpful to talk with a counselor, who will have a neutral perspective on your situation and some experience helping people who've been in similar situations. I've sought out counselors after two bad break-ups, and I was really glad that I did both times.

    It can be especially helpful to talk with a counselor if you're having thoughts of suicide. Calling a crisis hotline is one option. If you live in the United States, the number for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-TALK.

  6. #6

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    Thanks for all the support everyone. I hate posting things like this because it makes me feel like a whiner or an attention whore. I'd never go through with suicide, no matter how tempting it is and I gave up cutting when I was 15. It hurts a lot because my mom is the one who took me back in after my wife left me. And now she's betraying me over some bullshit like this. This is why it's so hard for me to trust people. I'm so tired of being hurt. But I've come to the conclusion that she will never understand simply because she's not me
    http://youtu.be/7G8QItjTSDA
    Last edited by VallenVulpiano; 26-Jun-2014 at 00:25. Reason: left something out

  7. #7
    CrinklySiren

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    Quote Originally Posted by VallenVulpiano View Post
    Thanks for all the support everyone. I hate posting things like this because it makes me feel like a whiner or an attention whore. I'd never go through with suicide, no matter how tempting it is and I gave up cutting when I was 15. It hurts a lot because my mom is the one who took me back in after my wife left me. And now she's betraying me over some bullshit like this. This is why it's so hard for me to trust people. I'm so tired of being hurt. But I've come to the conclusion that she will never understand simply because she's not me
    If i may (and forgive me if I sound condescending, i dont mean to), it seems you are still very young at heart (ABDL pun not intended lol) and getting married young is usually not a good idea as both you and your partner are not even 100% solid on what you want out of life (despite possibly believing that you know yourself in every way... believe me, you dont lol, but thats a normal part of getting older) on top of that you're at a tender age where everything seems to feel like its working against you or where people seem to always be insufferable and ruthless bastards, but its a brain chemical thing... i went through it, my little bro with through, my big bro went through it, and aaaaaaaalll my friends went through it. Eventually you'll grow out of it, you'll see that people CAN be trusted, you just have to thicken your skin a bit and be independent; perhaps your mom is just trying to look out for you, or perhaps she might think you need to learn a bit more responsibility (generally, getting married young is not very responsible.. i should know, i got married at 18 and the only reason we didn't get divorced is because we're both the right amount of crazy, but believe me we fought like two mammoths in an ice storm for 5 years, with threats and cheating, hellfire, brimstone... christ it was bad, even though me and my wife are super happy now, i would NOT recommend getting married to anyone until they are at LEAST 25... its just not fun and it really changes your life, and in some cases like mine; you are forced to grow up faster than you really should) perhaps she's just afraid you might make bad decisions, try to put yourself in her shoes ~ she calls you lazy and she's hard on you but often times our parents just don't know how to communicate with us.

    Back then when I was your age and younger, my mom would constantly be on my ASS about getting a job, about going to college, about taking 24 credits in school, about a bunch of shit, constantly looming over me with endless criticism about my laziness or my lack of maturity or responsibility... but now, she has stopped doing it and she is constantly reminding me of how proud she is... and i realize that the only reason she was constantly on my ass, making me feel like i wasn't working hard enough; was only because she wanted me to do BETTER than her, she wanted me to prove to her wrong.

    Look, its been scientifically proven that between the age of 15 and 25, the chemicals in our brains are going haywire and we are just trying to get a grasp on who we are... your mom wont understand you; but not because you are you, simply because you're at that age... right now, NO ONE can understand you... and i can assure you that you even sometimes have a hard time understanding yourself... and im not trying to sound like a bitch or anything, im trying to tell you that this is 100% totally NORMAL its hard, i know, believe me; Imagine going through regular mental development, mixed with clinical depression and gender dysphoria... its a monumental rollercoaster from the 9th layer of hell... but believe me, it gets better... and eventually, your mom will not only understand you, but you will understand her.

    Just hang in there, take a deep breathe, take it day by day, and remember that our family can be an exceptional pain in the ass very often ~ I'm currently living in a situation where the only person who refers to me as Emily and treats me like the woman I am, is my mom... everyone else still calls me by my birth name and still treats me like I'm just a guy in drag, and it really fucking hurts... but just try to chill :3 focus on something else, pick up a hobby and don't take anything to heart.

    Mind you, im only going on what you've posted, if your mom is in some way being or doing something more abusive than criticizing your work ethic, it could possibly change my response, but if its just that your mom and brother are being hard on you... hey, welcome to the future lol the old generation hates the new generation because of how much easier life is, and the young generation hates the old generation because of how archaic they are... its 2 different worlds trying to co-exist. Go with the flow my friend, you'll make it out alive yet <3

    Again, sorry if anything i said was offensive or harsh, I'm just speaking from experience and I'm just trying to help

  8. #8

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    Until I moved out and away from home, I had contentious run ins with my mom all the time. The problem was that we both knew all the emotional buttons to push. Worse, she could say things and immediately, it was like I was 10 or 11 years old again, falling into the same emotional feelings. I suspect that everyone goes through this.

    Once I finished college and moved out, working full time, I began to realize how wise my parents were. Eventually I would call home for advise. I guess it's a rite of passage. It wasn't but a few short years and they both were dead. My dad died when I was in the younger side of my 20s. My mom died two years later from cancer.

    Try to make peace with your mom and realize that this too will pass. If you can give your uncle a couple of hours, it might take some pressure off. Almost every step you take in life involves compromises. Life isn't easy, but we find ways that make it work for us. You'll get there.

  9. #9

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    Emily, that actually makes a lot of since. But you're right its still not easy. And I have clinical depression after my divorce and the death of my daughter only months before she was born, so that makes it harder, on top of that I'm fighting with PTSD, Aspergers, ADHD, and a severe anxiety disorder. I have hobbys I'm a musician and a writer, and I know how it is being on my own. I moved back in with her last year to avoid being homeless. Still. She does this shit a lot. And I'm fucking sick of it. I'm moving out in a year from October. I'm grateful for everything she's done for me, but this kind of treatment is intolerable. I'm going to try and make peace to avoid another household war like when she was trying to convince me not to marry my now ex wife, which ended up pushing me to get married sooner so I could get away from her. I don't want that again.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by VallenVulpiano View Post
    So once again my mom jumps all over me because she believes I'm lazy. I didn't go with her Sunday to go work at her brothers all week, and her brother is pissed because of it. I tried explaining that I'm in school and I can't work my ass off in the heat all day and then go work in a machine shop all night. She claims I'm lazy and won't try. I WAS going to stay at home to help her with bills and my sister but no, not anymore. I'm moving out as soon as possible. She has no clue how devastating what she says is. If it wasn't for my babyfur brother calling me on the way home I probably would have killed myself. I'm just that sick of suffering
    I would recommend that you see a therapist actually. I believe that would help the most. I know seeing a therapist would help and whatever you do please do not think your a freeloader for asking for help. I made that mistake once and I will suffer for it the rest of my life because of it. Your not a freeloader in this because it's obvious you don't want to be doing this and by definition your not selfish for asking for that help because of that. I myself find it highly distasteful to be on SSDI right now but if I did not get that I would most assuredly be dead by now. You not only have a right to live you have a responsibility to live as well. I hope this helps and please do not feel alone in this.

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