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Thread: What aspect of ab/dl is most difficult

  1. #1

    Default What aspect of ab/dl is most difficult

    What aspect of being ab/dl is most difficult for your family to understand?

  2. #2


    From my wife's point of view it is a jealousy thing. She see the diapers as competition; she thinks they mean more to me than she does and to be honest, it is hard for me to prove otherwise. The problem is that our regular sex life (without diaper references) is not that great, I mean, it is good enough that we have a bunch of kids but I don't really satisfy her. I think if we could have rock-star sex without any mention of diapers then then she would be a lot more comfortable with me wearing and even incorporating them into sex. The other thing is regarding the comfort aspect - I certainly use diapers a lot more when I am stressed because they really help me to unwind. But my wife is of the opinion that she should be providing that role. Again, I can't really argue with her about that - it just is what it is!

  3. #3


    I think most people struggle to understand the 'why' aspect. It's easy enough to grasp the concept that someone likes to wear diapers or be treated like a baby but it can be much more difficult to understand why they do. I suspect parents in particular might worry that they've done something wrong during upbringing that has caused their offspring to become ABDL.

    The problem here is that a lot of ABDLs also struggle with the 'why' aspect. There are plenty of threads on this forum trying to figure it out. In my opinion there isn't a single answer, and in many cases I firmly believe there isn't actually a specific cause. It's a bit like asking someone why their favourite colour is blue. It just is.

  4. #4


    What aspect of being ab/dl is most difficult for your family to understand?

    I'm guessing here but I suspect the main thing is that this is looked at as a mental illness involving a disgusting habit and no one can understand why people, who appear otherwise normal, don't take the steps to cure themselves.

  5. #5


    Probably that it isn't necessarily sexual sometimes. Like they hear I want to be little and they immediately assume it's foreplay toward sex but sometimes I just want to be little because its fun.

  6. #6


    Well considering my family I imagine it'd be just about every aspect of it because they'd struggle with the why,what I get from it,ect and with all that is already wrong with me I have no doubt they'd assume it was some kind of mental illness and ask doctors to "cure" me of it which of course is impossible.

  7. #7


    So far it's having a pacifier and overcoming shyness of using it in public, now if anyone asks me about it I reply back with " it's just a pacifier what's wrong with that " ?

  8. #8


    When my friend came out to me, I had the hardest time understanding why, out of all things that could turn someone on, why diapers? It just seemed really odd to me. She couldn't give me a definite answer, naturally. My second most important question was why she felt she had to choose me to trust with this secret, but that one is more personal than ABDL related.

  9. #9


    Family…. This implicates that family knows about it…. I have an example from my own experience:

    I once told my mom about my DL-ism. But not until I was lots older loving diapers: Well over 30, only then I was daring to tell her about it. The 'question' came along why I did not yet have a relationship. So I told her this aspect as part of my sexual life. The first response she had was like "Oh, I hope you do not like young children, since they wear diapers…". So the rest of the evening was about explaining that this absolutely is not the case. It is the objects I am fascinated about, not per-se the person wearing it. Today I felt it as a mistake talking to her about it. I should have kept it a secret, or at least, let her read "The Den of Bittergrey" website articles first.
    My partner -on the other hand- is the opposite: He is very understanding and gives me the space to do practice my DL part in my life
    Since then I never had a binge/purge cycle again...

  10. #10


    I don't know if there are things my parents still don't understand about my diaperism. Back then it was about I cannot change this about myself and it's not like I chose to like them and it's just something I choose to do. We would all stop if we could and that is something lot of people wouldn't understand. Also diaper wearing or using them is not always about regression or being lazy to use the toilet. Yes I have worn one out of laziness and regression but I don't wear them anymore for those reasons.

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