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Thread: Some IC questions

  1. #1

    Default Some IC questions

    Hi folks
    I am knew to the adisc community and I have had urinary IC off and on due to a car accident a couple of years ago.
    I want to know
    What made you diside to use diapers/protection on a regular basis?
    How long did it take to except diapers as a part of normal life.
    How long did it take for your significant other to except it?
    In your opinion how can I explain to my wife that diapers are a good way to manage IC as I feel that the IC meds have side affects that out way the bennifits? Sorry for rambling, any advice is appreciated
    Last edited by thorb; 17-Jun-2014 at 07:34.

  2. #2


    I have had to wear diapers for ever due to severe urninary and fecal incontinence...Litterally..I was born with my problems and diapers have always been the only thing that made the best way to explain it is I grew up not having a choice and I honestly still dont but accepting it took awhile because I was teased pretty bad growing up especially in foster care. I think I was about 21 or so when I started accepting that this is the body I have and it wasnt going to change...I know I found this site around the same time I completely accepted that I had to wear gf and the mother of my child is totally cool with it. i generally sleep in bed with nothing on but the diaper...Every once in awhile she will make a comment that I might want to take another shower because I smell like pee but its all in fun...she is really cool about it and there have been times where my diaper has gotten quite wet at night and she will change me more to protect the bed than anything else.She does it so well that I dont generally remember it and I only know because she will mention it the next morning and I can always tell the difference between my tape up job and hers. She has also done the same thing when I have pooped at night. She of course leaves me to take care of it during the day.

    - - - Updated - - -

    If your signifigant other hasnt accepted that you have to wear diapers then you need to find another will never me. I have been with women and guys who just cant take it...women generally have been the most adamant...

  3. #3


    I've had trouble with bladder control all my life, so I grew up in and out of diapers for it. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that doctors were really willing to look into the issue.

    With that said, the simple fact that I lived so much of my life in diapers made it easier to accept them. It wasn't anything new, and while it could be frustrating, I found it wasn't the end of my life.

    My wife was told about it when we first met--she had the chance to either walk away or accept me.

    With that said, I went through a lot of doctor visits and medication attempts after my wife and I got together. She understands just how horrible some of the medication side effects can be, she has her own minor health issues and gets side effects from some of those medications. There are questions that you have to be able to answer: how will managing your IC affect your everyday life? Will you be wearing protection that requires frequent changes through the day? If so, you'll need to keep spares around. Will you be using the more absorbent products that don't require changing as much? You can actually save money by going to premium products that don't require changing as often. What about having leaks or a situation where your diaper may be seen in public? Will your insurance cover the cost of diapers (and which ones will it cover if it does)? What about packing for vacations, visits with family, etc.? There's a lot that goes on with using diapers as a management tool.

    You should find out what concerns your wife has about using diapers as management of your issues. Going to diapers for your IC management does not change who you are anymore than switching from blue underwear to white underwear. With that said, some people view diapers as being babyish and that the diaper wearer will need to have a caretaker. Others view going to diapers as 'giving up' in the fight to control your IC (most urologists seem to have this attitude). If you can respond to questions like these appropriately, you have a better chance of convincing someone (especially if they can look at this logically rather than letting emotional arguments rule).

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by thorb View Post
    Hi folks
    I am knew to the adisc community and I have had urinary IC off and on due to a car accident a couple of years ago.
    I want to know
    Hi Thorb & Welcome to Adisc.

    Myself I'm IC as well... have been my entire life... (daytime & night issues).
    Whilst I happen to "like" diapers (to some extend) - I guess this comes as a coping mechanism from having to deal with diapers during my puberty / teenage years.. - I have several methods I use to cope with my IC...
    Diapers are only "one tool" in my bag.
    At night - that is the time where I use disposable diapers almost exclusively - I have not found a better option to deal with the bedwetting.
    At day though I either wear pads (thin Tena Comfort Plus pads) + fixation pant or these days quite often a condom catheter (texas catheter, condom urinal... goes by many names) and a calf mounted "leg bag"... Proper diapers I most only use when I have to make long trips... but since I have found a well working combination of leg bag / Condom-urinal I rarely use "real" diapers during the day anymore.... most often now its either the pad or the condom-things + bag.
    The later gives me a LOT more freedom than diapers - no changes requires (I can drain the bag on the toilet by simply raising the leg of the trousers and opening the relieve valve holding my foot over the toilet... no more wet, icky diapers, no more carrying of several spares, etc.. basically "unlimited" capacity as I can empty frequently... no leaks, no bulky diapers).
    Its now mostly during sports, at home or some other activities where I use the pads during the day....
    Especially more practical during traveling - anywhere from flying to trains and if also for the added benefit of carrying far less supplies.
    At night however I find diapers more comfortable and more practical.

    Quote Originally Posted by thorb View Post
    What made you decide to use diapers/protection on a regular basis?
    Pretty straight forward: I don't like to run around with wet trousers all day long... pretty embarrassing and uncomfortable
    Also the fact that my IC can not be treated with drugs... well there are some drugs that "limit" the effect to some degree but that is the best case scenario and still has side effects.

    Quote Originally Posted by thorb View Post
    How long did it take to except diapers as a part of normal life.
    That was a bit complicated... I would say it has taken me like 15 years or so give or take a few.
    I'm 34... the first five years I guess don't really matter... because up to that age it is not uncommon for children to be in diapers... (well five is long, but it certainly isn't much of a problem from the child's perspective).
    Schooltime though was quite frankly a harsh experience.... and progressing into puberty and teenage years with IC issues & diapers really didn't make it any easier... it was quite a challenge to say so.
    Once I was out of school / living on my own (I moved out when I was 15/16) it got easier for me... but the romantic desires proved to be another challenge with diapers & IC issues.
    but I guess around the age of 19-20 I had accepted this as a part of my life and had found ways to go about life normally and 98% unhindered by my IC issues... ever since the protection hasn't been much of an issue.

    Quote Originally Posted by thorb View Post
    How long did it take for your significant other to except it?
    Actually that was not that big of a deal... having had to deal with it my entire life, when I met my SO of course it did not long stay a secret... and she didn't make any big fuss about it either.
    We've been together for 12+ years now and I could not be any happier.

    Quote Originally Posted by thorb View Post
    In your opinion how can I explain to my wife that diapers are a good way to manage IC as I feel that the IC meds have side affects that out way the bennifits? Sorry for rambling, any advice is appreciated
    You know your wife best and your wife knows you better than anyone here does. Thus any advice I can give you should be looked at only as an outsiders opinion...
    Well my take here is quite straight-forward to say so: it is YOUR medical condition and as an adult YOU have the freedom to CHOOSE HOW you deal with it.
    Now in a relationship (at least if its a serious one, and I guess as you're married - it is indeed ) this does not mean a wildcard to do whatever you want.
    No - this is not entirely correct, you can of course do whatever you want - but decisions you make have an influence on others and your wife has the right to like / dislike your actions.
    Now she is probably one of the very few persons who are actually slightly involved in your IC issues - because if you like it or not, if you share a bed, if you get intimate, etc... the IC issue will be a part of this and thus your wife will be not completely excluded from the "problem".

    So what does this mean in practical terms?
    At least for me this is simple:
    - I try to be as discrete as humanly possible: I don't walk around in anything but diapers, I wear boxer briefs / short over them all the time, I change in the bathroom, I take VERY good care that there's no smell, I don't wear too wet products for a long time (smell), I am absolutely obsessed with keeping myself clean , I don't place used diapers anywhere visible, I keep my diaper-stash in the drawer. When we get intimate the diaper / pad comes off first.
    - We have a mattress protector (one of the expensive high end poly urethane laminates... not the sweaty crinkly crap).
    - I wear thin products whenever possible and this way no one knows I wear...
    This way my diapers / pads / IC Products are basically a very very minimal-impact aspect on the relationship. I do this btw. as much for her as I do it for myself to enable me to lead a life that is not defined by the IC and the products.
    Think about how your wife handles her tampons, her female hygiene pads... I guess you don't see her change them in front of you or dispose of dirty ones in front of you, etc... I take the same approach.

    Then there's another thing I do:
    I keep up to date (through my urologist) with available treatment options - I'm not "giving up".
    One of the major problems associated with diapers not only by doctors, IC-people but also by the families is that often, the choice of using diapers is seen as some sort of resignation - and I guess it is important (for yourself and for the immediate family / SO ) not to give up on finding a permanent solution and at least trying keep it from getting worse.

    If Drugs have side effects: don't take them if the side effects outweigh the benefits (as in my case).

    Last but not Least: OPEN TALK... I guess this is by far the most important aspect... TALK WITH your wife about your issues.
    Let her in on what is bothering you, how you want to deal with it, why diapers are YOUR preferred option.
    Listen to her concerns, let her be open about what is bothering her, etc...
    This goes a LONG way...
    I guess after 12+ years of an amazing relationship, this is the best advice I can give you: COMMUNICATE - never cease to communicate with each other.

  5. #5


    Like many others here I have had various urinary problems for many years. About 20 years ago I was in diapers 24/7 because of total incontinence, which seemed to clear up after only a year or so. Now in the past month or so, after several years of urge problems that never seemed to get better, the total IC is back. I have used foley catheters, often get infections from them. I have tried condom catheters, various types, but they always seem to leak or fall off or kink and not feet properly. So for me diapers seem to be the only answer, and I really don't mind wearing them. I have a variety from Depends pull-up's to very thick night disposables. I like the thick ones because they can handle my sometimes heavy floods.

  6. #6


    thanks everyone for your input, I had a conversation with my wife about this and she said that her main concern was that I don't give up on looking at different treatment options for my incontinence. when I am diapered I keep covered up, if anyone else is in the house I usually change in the bathroom and trash my diapers in the outside bin. I asked my wife if it was obvious when I am wearing a diaper as I am visually impaired, she said the only sign that there was sometimes my pants have abit more bulge to them. The bulge is due to the fact that I generally use Abena M4, I guess I could use a thinner diaper but I find that these diapers give me the protection I need. The way I see it there's nothing more embarrassing than wet spots on your genes. I definitely appreciate the maturity level that everyone here displays. Thanks a lot everyone for a great conversation, can't wait to have more.

  7. #7


    I have minor ic from a car accident 30 years ago I can hold only about 8 ounces and when i have to go i have less then 2 minutes or i wet myself, after i relieve myself i usually have to go again in another 2 minutes I was familiar with diapers as a bed wetter in my early teens so it was easy for me to accept diapers. no more bed wetting or embarassing wet pants so i so enjoy them!!! My wife did not accept it but i see alot of others that do, you have a great case for wearing them

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