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Thread: My wife

  1. #1

    Default My wife

    So, I know a lot of people post about this on here. Thanks for hearing me out.

    My wife and I got married young, we have been married 12 years now and I am 34. Anyways, she knows about it and long ago once let me try it. It didnt go all that well and that was a long time ago. I think she would be okay with it more now but it is really hard to talk about. This is the only thing we do not share. She is a great wife but I really want to be able to wear. I do not need her to participate, just allow me to wear and accept me as I am.

    I know I just need to have a deep talk with her. She seemed less okay with the baby side of things, so I am going to keep it light and just say I want to wear as they are a comfort thing. Any ideas on the best way to go about this? I know you would need to know her and me and all the ins and outs but any suggestions would be great. I have been showering her with love just because and tomorrow is fathers day. Thinking about dropping the bomb then.

    VERY nervous but will update. I have kids and that makes things dicier. One is still in diapers but almost out.

  2. #2

    Default

    I have also been married 12 years and turn 35 just a few weeks ago. My husband and I have 2 amazing children - both of whom are out of diapers now.
    My husband only told me about his DL AB side this year. I have accepted my husband for who he is. He is still the same man I married but now a happier, more content version of himself. Living in hiding was hard for him - once I was more used to the idea I was sorry he hadn't felt able to tell me earlier. Wearing a diaper doesn't negatively impact on anyone else unless you allow it to.

    I would possibly suggest that you don't do it on Fathers Day. I know this is a special day for you to treasure being a Dad but maybe keeping it on a different day (one with no specific significance) might be better. As I don't know either of you it would just be a precaution against things not working out as you planned then you don't risk remembering it every father's day with regret.
    Having children really doesn't impact on being an AB DL so should not make things dicier - you just need to make sure your stash is discrete. Children have no need to have any idea what goes on in the bedroom (or out of it) so unless you parade it about then it should have no affect on either you or them. If all goes well you might just need to plan your 'little time' more carefully.

    I really wish you luck and hope she agrees to you wearing more as I can see the positive changes it has had on my husband.

  3. #3
    CrinklySiren

    Default

    Educate her ~ find as much information as you can:

    I got married at 18 and i've been with my wife for 8 years this november.... at first she was "cool" with it... but as time passed, she let herself believe that this was a phase and she soon realized that it wasn't going anywhere... we fought and argued tirelessly about it for the first 5 years of our time together... it wasn't until she fully understood it that she finally accepted it and let me be ~ At first she couldn't even fathom the idea of being with a person like me (after realizing that it wasn't going anywhere), but I would fight her on it because its not fair that just because its "not part of the norm" that i should feel restricted or like I'm not allowed to do what makes me happy... I was always a kind of "equal treatment" person, I never liked the idea of that whole bullshit notion of "happy wife happy life", it felt so defeatist... My situation was different than yours though, idk if it's sexual for you, but for me its not and she had a hard time accepting this and accepting that i wanted to meet and play with other littles, or how I had no qualms with being dressed up around friends (the ones who were accepting and welcoming of it; some of them wanted me to be myself around them without fearing judgement, so I only dressed up around them and only when i truly felt the urge to be little).

    The only thing that I can say that probably wouldn't help (and kinda contributes to a theory i have about gender and what each one can get away with) Since transitioning, she's become MUCH more inclined to responding to my little side ~ she tickles me sometimes, she'll diaper me sometimes, or she'll play with me using my plushies... it seems that being a girl seems to make it easier for her to handle ~ i know its bullshit and its unfair because we should all be treated fairly =/ but sadly, i am able to get away with more now that I'm female.. and not just with my wife, but in public too >_<

    The only thing I can offer you in terms of marital advice and being ABDL/Little... dont let your partner restrict you from being yourself just because what you do isn't "part of the ordinary"... If you make her understand exactly where you're coming from with ALL of it, then you can hope she will understand that it doesn't change who you are and its actually a big part of who you are. By that note, also don't bulldoze them ~ they have needs too, and may need time to accept or embrace something, but as long as they are willing to slowly allow themselves to do so, then you're golden.

    And whatever you do; DO NOT ( i repeat) DO. NOT. bring up this subject in ANY form of marriage counseling... regular marriage counselors simply DO NOT GET the kink world and they will demonize you for it. Me and my wife went to marriage counselors and even though they claimed to have heard of this lifestyle, they had NO grasp on this community... they made me sound like a cruel sexual unfaithful creep... just because i wanted to play with other littles..

    Alternatively: i also don't suggest going to a marriage counselor who specializes in kinks for 2 reasons: 1) your wife will feel cornered and one-sided because the kink specialist will most of the time side with you only, and 2) for reasons that i cant bring myself to comprehend ~ in the psychology world, it doesn't matter whether you say "its not sexual" or "its not a fetish"... to them, anything out of the ordinary that is done as a hobby, that involves vestisms of any kind, registers in their minds as a sexual fetish... they simply do not yet understand the psychological concept of being a "little" or having an "inner chikd" and for the most part would deem us "crazy" or "unfit to be an adult".... its moronic, but it is what it is ~ this type of situation is best solved with information and clear/concise conversation.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by awife View Post
    I have also been married 12 years and turn 35 just a few weeks ago. My husband and I have 2 amazing children - both of whom are out of diapers now.
    My husband only told me about his DL AB side this year. I have accepted my husband for who he is. He is still the same man I married but now a happier, more content version of himself. Living in hiding was hard for him - once I was more used to the idea I was sorry he hadn't felt able to tell me earlier. Wearing a diaper doesn't negatively impact on anyone else unless you allow it to.
    I can't begin to explain how refreshing it is to see a wife saying this <3

    Thank you for being an awesome human being.

  4. #4

    Default

    Dang, the advice here is so solid. All I could add is be completely honest. She already knows about it so give her the truth. If she agrees to allow you to wear occasionally like in bed or something.....how do you honestly think you could contain your AB tendency. Better to be up front.
    Good luck and happy Father's Day.

  5. #5

    Default

    @crinklyEmily: REALLY good advice and a very deep mind behind them

  6. #6

    Default

    I posted before and will again I had been in a relationship for 5 year and then married the woman of my dreams after 7 years of marriage, my wife slowly figured out my ab/dl side after finding diapers new and used pacifiers plastic pants etc i tried to hide it the best i could!!! after finally confronting her she could not come to terms with what i am about and we got divorced, she is still my best friend today!!!! although i thought she would except my ab/dl side she did not!! I will never change and as some others accept it others in my case dont!!! I really wished it worked for me as i have seen it work for others!!! good luck!!!

  7. #7

    Default

    I would like to thank awife for being so understanding and CrinklyEmilyLG for her experience and wisdom with counselors, and her ability to brilliantly express it.

    The best I can offer is my own experience. I had been wearing and hiding diapers for most of my married life. It was only when my wife became very ill and had to retire that I eventually got "found out". She discovered my diaper order on Amazon and I had to explain. Because our situation is somewhat unique, she was very understanding as well as accepting. In fact, she bought me some Big Baby training pants for Father's Day.

    After she discovered my Amazon order, I made an account with ADISC and got some good advise, most of which was being honest with her. Additionally, I gave what I was going to say a lot of thought, especially as to why I thought I was compulsive about wearing diapers. I gave her some background information on my childhood and my history of wearing as a teen. When I was done, and I was shaking with nervousness, she understood why I need to indulge myself in diaper wearing and other baby related activities.

    Our marriage has always been strong and one based on love. I take care of her and she takes care of me. I get her on her dialysis machine every night, and attend to the wounds on her diabetic feet. She indulges my "little" side, not because she feels obligated, but because she understands how it is a part of me, that it's important to me to indulge, and because when I'm happy, she's happy.

    I hope your marriage is built on that kind of love. If it is, your wife will accept it because she loves and accepts you.

  8. #8

    Default

    I agree wholeheartedly with the great advice already given in this post. One more thing I will add is that it's how you perceive and discuss your diaper wearing that will greatly influence your wife's acceptance long-term. If you address it as no big deal, part of who you are and have always been and something easily managed, you are far more likely to get your wife's support than if you describe your need for diapers as something taboo, awful and shameful.

    Additionally, how you wear diapers around your wife will determine her long-term buy-in. If she's not interested in participating but lets you wear, do you promptly and discreetly change and securely dispose of the wet ones? How do you handle being diapered during time together? Do you respect your wife's wishes? Will you make sure she always knows you love her more than your diapers and act and speak accordingly?

    If you can figure those things out and be ready to adapt, you stand a much greater chance of acceptance from your wife. I hope it goes well for you!

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by keithandre1 View Post
    I posted before and will again I had been in a relationship for 5 year and then married the woman of my dreams after 7 years of marriage, my wife slowly figured out my ab/dl side after finding diapers new and used pacifiers plastic pants etc i tried to hide it the best i could!!! after finally confronting her she could not come to terms with what i am about and we got divorced, she is still my best friend today!!!! although i thought she would except my ab/dl side she did not!! I will never change and as some others accept it others in my case dont!!! I really wished it worked for me as i have seen it work for others!!! good luck!!!
    Led to divorce? REALLY?!?!

    Thanks for the wake-up call.....

  10. #10

    Default

    Hi Superabdl,
    Have you had chance to discuss it yet - how did it go?
    Thinking about you and wish you all the best. x

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