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Thread: Wife HATES my fetish

  1. #1

    Default Wife HATES my fetish

    When my wife and I started dating she had no issues participating in my fetish. In fact, she's worn diapers many times. As well, she would change me without any complaint and was at one time going to indulge me even more by writing an ABDL story.

    Since our daughter was born three years ago, she wanted me to quit this lifestyle all together. I attempted this and failed miserably multiple times. At one point, much to her dismay, I was wearing and using diapers all the time.

    I have since calmed my urges but can not, or rather will not, give up my lifestyle. It was actually the hardest thing I ever tried to do. However I do see her point and I don't want our marriage to be ruined by this. I was wondering if anybody has any advice? As it currently stands, I was going to ask her if she could let me know what her boundaries were when it comes to me wearing, but I don't know if that's a good idea.

  2. #2


    you poor wonderful person i feel for you ive never found anyone like that why is she against it now? seems odd she knew you liked it so why judge maybe just wear them when alone all the time would be a little to much if its not her thing or try when yourself or she is away or try come to a compromise i wish you all the best

  3. #3


    I pushed her too far and that's why she began to resent them. I was wearing them too much, expecting her to care for me, and she actually thought I liked them more than her at one point. As well, she began to become disgusted by them. Even still she married me a year ago knowing full well my lifestyle. I think she thought I would stop. Now I need to do something before my marriage goes down the toilet. I honestly can wear them when she is not around and I will if that is the only other option. I miss what we had, and I don't believe that will ever be an option again. I appreciate the advice and sympathy blackwaltz.

  4. #4


    I hope you can patch things up! Kids change a lot of things in life, and like you said, your intense interest helped spark these events. I don't mean that in a mean way (I am easily addicted to anything/everything I enjoy, much to my boyfriends dismay!)

    I would start by opening up with her about how you feel. Tell her that you don't think the diapers are more important than her, but that it is impossible for you to give them up. Any healthy relationship is about give and take, and the way I see it, the least you could compromise with is wearing when she isn't around, or at set times away from one another. If on better circumstances, perhaps you can chalk it up to a little around her, but not forceful, ie. a diaper under your street clothes/pajamas at home.

    I am not in your situation, and I am not you . But I do know from dating my boyfriend for 7+ years, communication is key, even if we don't agree at all and completely butt heads on a given topic.

  5. #5


    I think the three most important things here are 1) open communication 2) compromise and 3) her understanding that your urges are not going to go away.

    It's probably going to sting, but you have to talk to her about this. Choose a quiet, relaxed moment to bring it up. Apologize to her for being too pushy with your desires in the past. Explain that you are willing to compromise, perhaps by wearing only when she's not at home or only on certain days. But make sure she understands that this isn't something you can put in the closet and forget about. It's a part of who you are, and trying to repress it to a non-existent level is not realistic or healthful. It's a harmless habit that makes you happy.

  6. #6


    All you really can do is try calming your urges like you have been. Maybe try finding something else that you can both enjoy?

    She may have just gotten tired of wearing and participating after your daughter was born because of diaper overload. Seeing diapers all of the time on a child and changing them is too much in itself. After all of that, who really wants to look at or see them anymore? Sometimes people try to wear themselves out on this fetish by wearing and using diapers 24/7 for a week or more. Feeling uncomfortable, adjusting schedules for changes, and the fear of being caught are often enough for people to start disliking the fetish. However, it can backfire like anything else.

    I've come to the conclusion that no one can really give up on this lifestyle. There'll be purge cycles and you'll do everything you can to take your mind off of it, but it will never disappear.

    Hang in there! I couldn't imagine a divorce coming up because of this unless you became violent or she was very shallow. Neither sound like it is an issue in this case.

  7. #7


    well, gee welcome to club of people that have a wife that doesn't like diapers. I have noticed a few things that help in my marriage. One is kind of keeping the issue "out of sight, out of mind" So, my stuff is never out, we more or less never talk about it, because my wife hates it. And I try to limit my wearing when she is not around. However, that does risk your partner starting to think that you wear EVERY time they are not around, and that's kind of an unhealthy assumption. Also, lately we have been spending the money to see a "Psycho-therapist" And he seems to help our marriage a little bit. (I'm not sure how she's going to handle the case of dry 24/7s I just got ) Anyway, those are things that seem to help my wife, even a little. but, YMMV.

  8. #8


    All very good advise from above. The only thing I can add is that I suspect her attitude toward you wearing diapers changed once you had a child. Some people make that association between us and babies and our part of it as very unhealthy. Having a baby now may be re-enforcing feelings of association. She's thinking, you are not a baby, but now the father of a baby. She wants you to be that father, and most people's idea of a father figure is one of strength. Wearing a diaper contradicts that impression. It's important to realize that the idealized stereotype of fatherhood is well ingrained in our society.

    I think the best scenario for you is wearing diapers when she's not around.

  9. #9


    Hey, Babyjames5,

    In order to indulge my DL-side, I enjoy it when I'm camping/fishing/hiking with my buddies.
    They have no idea as to what I'm up to, and hiding my diapers from them is a lot of fun. Also, my diapers are very convenient when it's 35 degrees outside. I just 'let 'er rip' right in my sleeping bag without even having to get-out of it. Umm, warm! Then, I roll-over and continue sleeping.
    The only thing complicated is when I dispose of soaked diapers. Trash bags take care of it, and dumpsters are nearby. The bag gets kinda heavy, (I use dry 24/7s and plastic pants) as I go through three of them per night.

    As I don't currently have a GF, I can (and do) wear to bed almost every night.
    I can't even imagine having to tell my wife/GF about this whimsical side of me. It must have been sensational when your wife was more accepting of your 'little secret.'

    I think dogboy has it right. Find a place or activity where she's not around........
    And, of course, don't let her see your 'stash.' Put it in a place she doesn't see.
    Good luck to you, friend. There's no way I'd sacrifice a marriage for this.........and I hope it doesn't happen to you.

    Happy camping......
    Last edited by bashfuldlguy; 13-Jun-2014 at 04:28. Reason: uhhh, yeah!

  10. #10


    Thank you everybody for the great advice. I'll definitely have to talk to her about it and set boundaries. Wish me luck!

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