I'm also really new on the forum and i'm really shy and unused to these kinds of things.
To be honest, i think i never met another AB/DL/(something of that type) personally yet (that i'm sure of, as i kinda convinced several of my friends to actually use diapers every now and then ).
I hope this isn't too long or sounds too awful since i tend to drift off even as i make a post. but as i feel like i'd burst, i might as well say some things here
I also listed myself as gender confused as i'm so far in the closet around my family, church-mates and the general public that i'm in the middle of narnia .
I have denied those sorts of stuff when I was about 10-17 years old, and as i'm 20 years old now, i'm still hiding it from the public but have told a relatively small circle of friends, who actually mostly have worn a diaper out with me at least once , but that's a story i would tell only if someone wants to hear that on the forum.
I'm not sure if it's against the rules to say what city/country i'm from so i won't say it until someone says it's fine but it's somewhere in south east asia and while it's not a law to not be a straight male, it's still widely seen as a gross mental illness, that my parents (and by extension, both sides of the extended family), as kind and loving (if misguided at times) being raised up as a conservative, and religious (and to top it off, as Mormons ) and an (over)protective family, i'm sure any admission of mine as a trans(i think)- male that's androphilic (the few girls i tend to like often tend to be bi/lesbian with quite masculine characteristics, but even then it doesn't really sexually arouse me) .
I might be a bit paranoid with keeping this a secret even though i've been telling my friends one at a time under (usually) controlled conditions but lately my parents heard a rumor from someone relatively high up in our church about me being gay, which they thankfully dismissed as a rumor and laughed it off, with a few good natured teasing in between, though it really chafes me to play a totally different role at home, i wonder how people like me in the forum feel,i hope i'm not too weird.
Even now i still suppress these thoughts to an extent except when i dream in an uncontrolled way.
As for my ABDL related activities, it started around my 3rd year high school, when i was 15, i tried a diaper i snuck from my cousin and got curious and tried it, and i've been stalking adbl forums since then.
It was in my 4th year high school that i actually made someone try it with me two days after christmas, i think i've had diaper dates ( i can explain why I call it that) with about 30 different people (who all happen to be girls since to be honest, i feel awkward doing that with guys, or any activity which may include close physical proximity or staring for prolonged periods of time) for about 50 times (i have a feeling this is much lower than the forum average) over the last 3 ish years and i really find it fun and funny having someone to have a carefree and stress-free day with, and it somehow makes me feel more like a child
As far as I can identify with myself, I feel like an androphilic, trans(closeted) male that somehow wants to keep the diaper/AB business with girls only (until someone can actually make me have this with a male that wouldn't make me feel the ... hmmmm... sexually aroused with it since i don't think i can cope up with that in my current stage of distress, so i'm keeping the ABDL business into light fluffy stuff, i hope that makes sense)
Feel free to ask me anything here, but try to make it as specific as possible since i tend to go off tangent in a post (see above for obvious reference). I'll do my best to honestly answer it, and please comment , i live off attention, love and hugs, hihihi
- - - Updated - - -
As for my interests, here are some of them:
Astronomy and star gazing with my telescope , despite the crappy city sky condition
Reading books, ebooks, fan fiction, and lately, alternate history discussion threads that turn to stories
Playing grand strategy games such as Europa Universalis IV
Sports like judo, basketball and other stuff even though i consider myself quite weak (though again, the people i try to compete with are varsity students that compete in national events so i'm kinda screwed there, but there are perks to playing with them... that's for another story though :P )
Trying out new things ,despite my fear of trying new things
I looove the german processed meats, those stuff that look like ham and salami, as well as their cheeses
Going out for a stress free date with a friend/friends
Singing/dancing my heart out, despite my lack of training in those endeavors , though i did whistle very very well before i got braces on.
Doing random lab experiments that have nothing to do with my subject or things like that
Playing laser tag or something like that
I love the feeling of being hugged and i love to snuggle on my friends, though really in an asexual way, so usually on people i have no attraction to , so generally women.
Still not used to being kissed whether it's in a friendly/flirty and definitely not in a romantic way, as i never got into a relationship , and i'm still too scared to go to thaaat phase.
I usually have so many things in my mind that i find it hard to discuss
As for what i want in this site, well i think i might stalk most of the time but i want to learn more about the community and have light hearted posts and/or messages. And hopefully i might find a way to remove the blocks in my mind that are keeping me from being what i really am