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Thread: meeting new people and making friends?

  1. #1

    Default meeting new people and making friends?

    ive always had trouble meeting new people and getting out there. normally i only meet people through friends or by going to a con and even then its really by chance.

    id like to meet people that are more into this sort of thing that may be in my area or even online. really any kind of friendship really.

    im not in school anymore and work 40+ hours a week. im looking for ideas of things to do or to just talk with some people online and then meet up or something. anything to get rid of this same thing every day kind of stuff

  2. #2

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    Best way imo is to put yourself into situations where you are around people with similar-ish interests. Joining clubs / sports leagues / etc that you are interested in is a good way to achieve that goal.

    It's awkward to just go introduce yourself to people cold, but if you join a group and have a default thing to talk about, it makes it a lot more comfortable.

  3. #3

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    I get the feeling. I find it a little awkward to get together in real life, and things like sports teams definitely aren't for me! This is especially true if you have niche interests or are into things lots of others aren't.

    One helpful way if you're tired after a long day at work is to use the internet. There's a forum for literally any interest under the Sun! This is a great way to connect with people all over the world to talk about things, and find other people into what you're into. And I do believe online friends are as good as real life friends, from a conversational standpoint. You can always take it to real life if you find people in your area - obviously, though, be careful and stick to public places until you know them well.

    Myself, I've met people online who I can share with about lots of things. This forum has been a great example. I can't exactly bring up to my coworkers that I like to wear diapers! And there aren't any real life groups in my area (and even if there were, I'd be way too scared of someone I know seeing me). So the Internet becomes a great place to meet people. It also had the side effect of helping me feel much more accepted and self-assured!

    I'd suggest thinking of your interests, and looking for an online community to chat about them. You might find people in your area, or not, but either way you'll have lots of people to talk to. It could be the start of some great friendships! Give it a shot!

  4. #4

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    ive considered just going back to college and taking classes just to meet people.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adventurer View Post
    I get the feeling. I find it a little awkward to get together in real life, and things like sports teams definitely aren't for me! This is especially true if you have niche interests or are into things lots of others aren't.

    One helpful way if you're tired after a long day at work is to use the internet. There's a forum for literally any interest under the Sun! This is a great way to connect with people all over the world to talk about things, and find other people into what you're into. And I do believe online friends are as good as real life friends, from a conversational standpoint. You can always take it to real life if you find people in your area - obviously, though, be careful and stick to public places until you know them well.

    Myself, I've met people online who I can share with about lots of things. This forum has been a great example. I can't exactly bring up to my coworkers that I like to wear diapers! And there aren't any real life groups in my area (and even if there were, I'd be way too scared of someone I know seeing me). So the Internet becomes a great place to meet people. It also had the side effect of helping me feel much more accepted and self-assured!

    I'd suggest thinking of your interests, and looking for an online community to chat about them. You might find people in your area, or not, but either way you'll have lots of people to talk to. It could be the start of some great friendships! Give it a shot!
    I strongly echo this. There are people I've met online through my interests that I've kept in contact with for a long time. Some people I've met in reality, others I only know through Internet contacts, and it does tend to make me fairly socially fulfilled. I've also made some real world friendships through people who contacted me on other forums where I listed my general location.

    I'll say, for myself, that I have been lacking on the love life side of things and I feel what the OP is saying. I haven't been on a date in several months. That said, a lot of that is due to my own life decisions and lack of desire at the moment, and I know that there are plenty of ways to get out and meet people, so here are some more for the OP if the interest is meeting people in the same area.

    1. Join a sport, as already suggested. It could be a gym or something more esoteric like archery or a martial arts dojo.
    2. Look for cultural activities. Almost every community has a movie theater, and many also have little theaters that put on plays or places like churches and community centers that host music events. If you're near somewhere more settled, there might be bigger things like rock concerts or classical orchestras. If you go to several things that match your interests, you'll start meeting the same people and make some friends.
    3. Go to stuff sponsored by your work. Most businesses these days sponsor various things. If it's a small business, you can go out with your coworkers sometimes, if it's a bigger business you might have your choice of different events. You'll meet other people's friends and family and might make some friends of your own.
    4. Got any family nearby? It might not be the coolest thing in the world to go hang out with your Mom and Dad, but if they're nearby, they'd appreciate you spending a weekend with them and if you go out to some show or something, you might meet other people that they know and get some introductions that way.

  6. #6

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    Ok, I'm sorry, but if you're not meeting people, it's your own fault (I said, in a peaceful, not aggressive tone ). Meeting people is usally easy, you just need to have the balls to do it. And getting hammered helps. Here are some easy ones if you're not one for socializing: Gym (it makes you look good for the ladies, and you actually boost your self esteem), just go to a friendly gym, you'll start talking to people, people will talk to you, tell them something like 'hey, we need to grab a brewsky sometime', easy. Another option is any sport, though it may be harder. Wash, rinse, repeate, as stated in the gym one. My personal favorite: Get some balls, again, getting hammered helps, go to a bar and go crazy. Sports bars are cool, or if you're feeling bold make some lady friends. Not being able to make friends is usually a trait shy, unconfident people have. I used to be like that, and I tried hard to go against it. The trick is, if you don't have confidence, fake it till you make it. And looking good also boosts your self-esteem. And something most people despise, but it sure makes you a lot more confident (and it works, at least better than people think), take a look at PUA's forums. They have tips that can be adapted to basically make friends with anyone. Hope I've helped

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