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Thread: Hi ^_^

  1. #1

    Default Hi ^_^

    1) Hello! Who are you?

    As you can tell by my name, I am a mother of a 15 yr old that recently told me he has an interest in ABDL. He says as long as he can remember, he has had thoughts, but never knew how to say something.

    2) What brings you here?

    I found websites open on my son's computer & this site was one of them. Thought I'd come & try to understand these desires & how to "deal with it"

    3) Diapers do not rule our lives! What are your other interests? (besides diapers/regression)

    I myself, am a rubber stamper....card making. My son is very much into video games, airsoft guns & wants to become a filmmaker.

    4) What are you looking for out of this site? What would you love to do here?

    Again, I came here to understand ABDL & be able to be there for my son. I was depressed as a teen (tried many times to end my own life), and I do not want him to have those feelings at all!!...so I am trying to be as understanding as I can. So far, reading posts have helped me deal with it better than I thought. I will admit, the first week he told me, I felt like I lost my son...almost like I was mourning him (constantly crying), but he is still the awesome kid he was before he told me his interest in this.

    I did tell him that although I support him, I don't think I can buy the diapers for him...at least not yet. He admits it IS a little weird, but he said he was ok with that. I did go check out pricing at Walmart while I was there yesterday & there's no way I can afford to buy them anyway. He will have to buy them himself, as we are on a limited income. :-/

    So, I hope I won't be in "lurker" status anymore. Thanks!

  2. #2

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    Hi and welcome to adisc.

    Let me start out by saying that you should be proud of your son. You may not have discovered his interest in the most ideal way, but he was brave enough to face up to you and explain it, and both you and he sound like you're working through this together. I also think you're taking the right approach as far as buying diapers: this is his interest, and he can use whatever money he has available to pursue it. Especially if you're on a fixed income, he can always look for an after school job to bring in a little extra spending money if he needs it.

    I'd like to hear a bit more about your initial feelings and your ongoing worries if you're interested in discussing them. There are a lot of ways that people here have come up with to balance their abdl interest with the rest of their lives and if you tell us a bit more about what worries you now, I bet we can offer some good advice.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by ScaredMom View Post
    1) Hello! Who are you?

    As you can tell by my name, I am a mother of a 15 yr old that recently told me he has an interest in ABDL. He says as long as he can remember, he has had thoughts, but never knew how to say something.

    2) What brings you here?

    I found websites open on my son's computer & this site was one of them. Thought I'd come & try to understand these desires & how to "deal with it"

    3) Diapers do not rule our lives! What are your other interests? (besides diapers/regression)

    I myself, am a rubber stamper....card making. My son is very much into video games, airsoft guns & wants to become a filmmaker.

    4) What are you looking for out of this site? What would you love to do here?

    Again, I came here to understand ABDL & be able to be there for my son. I was depressed as a teen (tried many times to end my own life), and I do not want him to have those feelings at all!!...so I am trying to be as understanding as I can. So far, reading posts have helped me deal with it better than I thought. I will admit, the first week he told me, I felt like I lost my son...almost like I was mourning him (constantly crying), but he is still the awesome kid he was before he told me his interest in this.

    I did tell him that although I support him, I don't think I can buy the diapers for him...at least not yet. He admits it IS a little weird, but he said he was ok with that. I did go check out pricing at Walmart while I was there yesterday & there's no way I can afford to buy them anyway. He will have to buy them himself, as we are on a limited income. :-/

    So, I hope I won't be in "lurker" status anymore. Thanks!
    Hello ScaredMom and welcome to the group.

    First kudos to you to excepting the situation and helping your son with this.

    Second You could not have come to a better site. There is a lot of good information to help gain and understanding of the situation and therefore gain control over it and help him gain a balance between his big and little side.

    Third I would suggest that you and he go onto You Tube and watch "Baby Mitchy's" on "Understanding adult babies" and his other videos that he has posted.

    I hope that you find all of the information that you can on here. I went through and read about 300 threads in each forum and got a lot of insight into the condition. As soon as he gets self acceptance the binge and purge cycles will turn into a ebb and flow cycle and life will become a lot easier.

    Another sight I would suggest is Bitter Grays Paraphilia Infantilism information page.

    Good luck helping your son.

    Again welcome to the group.

    Egor.

  4. #4

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    Hi and welcome. It's nice that you are supportive of your son, as many parents wouldn't be.

    I'd like to offer one small suggestion, if I may. Occasional diaper wearing isn't really very expensive. You may have noticed the Assurance brand adult diapers at Walmart. Now these aren't the best, but they're something, and a pack of six is something like, $3.76. Or he might be able to fit into the GoodNites brand, which is sold in the baby section. A package of 11 of the larger size is about $9.

    Of course, you don't have to buy him his diapers if you aren't comfortable doing so, in fact if he gets an allowance, cuts grass for money, etc. he probably should buy them himself.

  5. #5

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    Hello ScaredMom.

    I'm sorry about your recent shock, it must have been a tough time. But from what you have written it seems that you now know that you have not lost your son, or anything close to that, and he's still the awesome normal teen boy, who just happens to like diapers. And it seems you have a really good relationship with him (not everyone has that) and you're the kind of mom every confused teenage ABDLer would wish to have.

    I'm also new on this forum and still a bit confused about myself and I'm sure other more experienced people will be able to give you better information and advice (and some already have).

    Two resources I have found particularly useful (maybe you have already seen them):

    1) The Articles section of this website (those about things like "accepting yourself").

    2) Understanding Infantilism (= Bitter Grays website that egor mentioned above)

    You can actually start here: Parents' Frequenty Asked Questions

    On this forum you can see that most people here are actually people with normal lives and jobs and interests, with the diaper thing being only a small and harmless part of them.

    At the same time, I think the people here can also benefit from your presence, as you can provide the insight from the other, "mom" side. There are many people here worried about telling their parents and how they would react.

    Welcome and good luck. I think you and your son have been approaching this from the right end and you'll both be fine.

  6. #6

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    Welcome to the site Scaredmom. You have done amazingly well to support your son even by looking on sites like this. I am one of several people who are on this site to find out how best to support another person - it can be challenging sometimes but it does not change the amazing person they are. You have not lost your son but by being there just to listen and support him you might find you are even closer to him than before.
    My children are still young but I aspire to be able to help them through any problems they have as a teenager - even though it might be hard now in the future you will both be able to look back and know you were there for him.
    It is not your job to buy diapers for him! He is 15 years old - if he'd like to buy them then he can spend his earnings / chore money/ paper route / allowance........You should not need to give him any extra money. My husband buys them online for several reasons - 1) so he doesn't have to actually go into a store and 2) more choice 3) convenience of delivery to the door. For this he might need access to a card to be able to buy online but I think he should have the expectation that he needs to find the money himself.
    Thanks for your post and I hope you get all the support you need.

  7. #7

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    ScaredMom,

    Welcome!

    Firstly, there is no need to be scared. Yes, it is initially hard to accept and yes, as one of the 'kinks' that is out there it is probably less well understood, or even not that well known about in the 'normal' community. On the other hand, we have had a partner of an ABDL on here recently who said that she could not really object as it is, at its heart, really rather nice and loving. It is certainly utterly harmless. More than can be said of what goes through the heads of some 15 year old boys. Oh, and he may be an ABDL, but he is more of a man than some of his peers if he was able to speak to you about it. It also speaks volumes about you that he could talk to you and that you are now on here finding out what you are dealing with. You both have my admiration.

    So, your son has an interest in ABDL. Fine. One thing though, from what you say you seem to have realized that this is not a phase that he is going through. In fact, look around some of the posts by recently returned younger members. Their ABDL tendencies are quite stable over time. So, both you and he have to work this through. Previous posts have directed you to some good articles and websites. You might also look up Rosalie bent's book 'There's a Baby in my bed'. She is a psychologist that is married to an Adult baby. Different relationship admittedly but it may be a useful perspective.

    Please do interact with the site. The more you interact and ask questions, the more you will get an appreciation about what ABDL is and is not. One thing that he will need to do is find a balance. Quite a few unsupported ABDL's go through quite a nasty binge/purge cycle. You see, before we have accepted who we are, we will binge. Then, probably disgusted with ourselves, we wish it would go away and that we could be 'normal'. At this point we will often bin everything and often get quite depressed. Some even get suicidal. You see, we can deny the thoughts and urges. We can sometimes go for very long periods without indulging but the problem is that this comes at a psychological cost. Depression and anxiety are common in this community. I should know...

    On the other hand, an ABDL who has accepted who they are and can balance life with the rest of humanity (the 'real world') can lead a happy, well adjusted life. This is difficult to get right initially. Those of us who have had nobody to support them in this, we get it wrong and the binge / purge starts again.

    You were brave enough to mention your own mental health history. You will find that this will actually be an asset in this case. You may be able to talk with him about it if you have not already.

    As to getting diapers for him. It is a rite of passage getting your own diapers. He should earn the money himself and ideally buy them himself, hopefully with your blessing. That way he has a good appreciation of the costs. As has been said though, some brands are quite cheap. Also keep an eye on thrift stores. Unopened boxes of diapers often pop up in local thrift stores.

    If you are interested in my personal perspective - I'm 40. I can trace DL/Sissy thoughts back to when I was about 3 years old with no effort. This is who I am but I've only really accepted that this year. I've gone through this the hard way, as have most people on the site. I did not have the internet to guide me. I though that I was the only one... On the other hand, with support, your son can adjust more easily. I have a professional, well paid career. I'm still adjusting the balance but it is nearly there. I hope that your son has it easier.

    As you may have gathered by now, we believe in supporting everyone who washes up here. You are most welcome and we will help all we can.

    DLE.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by ScaredMom View Post
    1) Hello! Who are you?

    As you can tell by my name, I am a mother of a 15 yr old that recently told me he has an interest in ABDL. He says as long as he can remember, he has had thoughts, but never knew how to say something.

    2) What brings you here?

    I found websites open on my son's computer & this site was one of them. Thought I'd come & try to understand these desires & how to "deal with it"

    3) Diapers do not rule our lives! What are your other interests? (besides diapers/regression)

    I myself, am a rubber stamper....card making. My son is very much into video games, airsoft guns & wants to become a filmmaker.

    4) What are you looking for out of this site? What would you love to do here?

    Again, I came here to understand ABDL & be able to be there for my son. I was depressed as a teen (tried many times to end my own life), and I do not want him to have those feelings at all!!...so I am trying to be as understanding as I can. So far, reading posts have helped me deal with it better than I thought. I will admit, the first week he told me, I felt like I lost my son...almost like I was mourning him (constantly crying), but he is still the awesome kid he was before he told me his interest in this.

    I did tell him that although I support him, I don't think I can buy the diapers for him...at least not yet. He admits it IS a little weird, but he said he was ok with that. I did go check out pricing at Walmart while I was there yesterday & there's no way I can afford to buy them anyway. He will have to buy them himself, as we are on a limited income. :-/

    So, I hope I won't be in "lurker" status anymore. Thanks!
    Welcome to ADISC!
    I think it is wonderful that you are supporting your son the way you are.
    When I was 13 and 15 my parents discovered me on separate occasions, and made my life hell for it. They removed my bedroom door and generally grounded me.
    Even years later that was so hard for me to handle. I feel like I might be more okay with myself now, if my parents had not made me feel like such a freak then.
    There is no reason to be sad that your son can be open with you, its wonderful actually. Just imagine that as hard for you as it is, it is likely equally hard for him.
    With any lifestyle there will be ways this is harder on him (financially, emotionally, etc ... ) but knowing that you still love and respect him, will make his life much easier.

    (Also, I know some of our threads can be a little overwhelming at first glance ... try not to let anything be tooo extremist ... I know they intimidate me a little in subject matter sometimes, and I like diapers personally)

    Please feel free to post on the threads and ask questions and seek advice and support. I do not know of one person on this site who would not be willing to be helpful, its a wonderful community.

    Hugs, cheers, and welcome!

  9. #9

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    Hello scared mom, and first of all, welcome to our little comunity ^^
    I know it must be very difficult to understand at first, and believe me, people that have far more life experience than I do still have trouble understanding it, because some of us feel shamed and there is a lot of social stigma surrounding this issue. It's not easy being an ABDL, but you should understand that being an AB or Being a DL are two different things. Dlism is a fetish, and as such is deeply rooted into our sexuality. As such, it's very difficult to get rid of it. You can't just stop being a DL, and it's one of the key points when trying to understand your son's feelings. Which leaves us with ABs. Being an AB is, IMO, even harder than being a DL, though I wouldn't know seeing as I am a DL myself. It's harder because it's an emotional need. Please keep in mind that these are not things that can just be shrugged off. It can, and will harm your son in the emotional state of things if it is repressed. Now, getting past the technical aspects, I would like to say I admire your effort towards understanding your son, it shows that you're made of a different calliber than a lot of parents who would just label their kids as crazy and send them to therapy. And also, I would like to say that you and your son must have a strong trust bond between each other, seeing as telling one's parents is no easy feat. It's opening yourself up to them in a way most people aren't confortable doing so. And, reacting this way, I believe your son's trust was well placed. So, now to the upsides and downsides. This takes it's toll, emotionally, because most of us can never see it as truly normal, because of the way society sees it, and as such many with this condition can have complexes and other bad feeligns regarding themselves, because of the diapers. On the upside, your son isn't off doing drugs or hurting people or getting into trouble. Think about it and they aren't really negative at all. People just make them to be negative. I think you just took the first step to honor the trust your son placed in you, and it shows you're a good, savvy person who won't instantly judge based on prejudice. Kudos to you

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