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Thread: Suggesting the AB/DL culture to someone who is a bedwetter.

  1. #1

    Default Suggesting the AB/DL culture to someone who is a bedwetter.

    Hi everyone. I have a good friend who struggles with bedwetting and was wondering what your thoughts are about suggesting the AB culture to someone that doesn't know anything about it but struggles with bedwetting. It seems like a touchy subject but also good for them if they take to it.

  2. #2


    Good things to say:
    -You're not alone
    -There are a lot of other really friendly people out there that want to help you and support you
    -It's nothing to be embarrassed about, some people out in the world even enjoy it.

    If you're very close with this friend and fully trusting of this person ONLY
    -I wear diapers too, sometimes.

    Bad things to say
    -Hey friend, your childish habit makes you a prime candidate to engage in fantasy age-play.

  3. #3


    well i would say if they are struggling with bed wetting how do you know? it sounds like its somebody that trusts you to tells you about there bed wetting!!! I think warring diapers for that reason as i did under the same circumstance is one thing!!! but my ab came naturally I would not try to suggest ab on them!! there are alot of great people on adisc and suggest you get a little more feedback from others

  4. #4


    I don't see the connection between a medical problem and a kink (broad use of the term). Now if you want to point that person to a support community for incontinence matters, that's a different thing. I'd defer to the genuine incontinents here to say if we're really all that great at supporting incontience or is it more that we're good with supporting incontinent people who have grown to like their diapers or liked them to start. I just don't see anything about bedwetting that points back to acting like a baby or small child or just plain enjoying diapers, and without some clear indication of interest, I think it's not a good assumption to make.

  5. #5


    I don't think that suggesting looking into being a AB/DL would help. Maby you could point them to this site for support and they could make that disision for themselfs.

  6. #6


    I think I can weigh in here from personal experience...

    I have been an on and off bed-wetter for my whole life. My family was not supportive in fact they viewed diapers as a form of humiliation and punishment. I had to keep to myself and wash my bedding when they were at work or not at home because it was embarrassing and humiliating. That being said, my experience was that I was the only one in the world with the problem and I felt like less of a person because of it. One day in desperation I looked up on the internet about bed wetting which eventually led to diapers which led to AB/DL/TBs. I was completely confused! I could not understand why someone would want to wear diapers when all I wanted was to get out of them (when I was able to buy them). I actually got into a chat room and started talking with a girl about my problems and how sad it made me.

    This event changed my life forever... I was very curious about why she liked to wear diapers and as all you ABs/DLs know I don't have to spell it our for you. However, she helped connect me to a community that did not view diapers as humiliating, and even though I did not understand it in the beginning I came around. Now I understand that diapers are a part of my life that I cannot control and that I should not feel ashamed of it. I learned that instead of making it an issue I had to accept it and embrace it or live in a depression every time I wore or had an accident. She helped lift my spirit by telling me that diapers were innocent, and cute and I shouldn't feel sad. Now I have come to like my diapers! There are days when I get sad still or when it's inconvenient but luckily my wife is that support I need now.

    1) So... when deciding to talk to this person about this issue I would say that you MUST be a close friend. I had to initially look to the internet because I was too private, and shy to talk to anyone in real life.

    2) If you do fall into category #1, then start out slowly. Show that this person is not alone and that there are people who also have to deal with diapers. If he/she shows further interest then talk more in private.

    3) There is no guarantee that this person is going to be interested in diapers. I know I hated them in the beginning! I slowly came around, and now I am a DL.

    4) This person could become a DL or not, your DL status is for life... So if they do not like diapers and they eventually grow out of their bed wetting then you are left with the issue still between you where one person is past it and your not. So be sure before you tell him/her!

    anyways hopes this helps

  7. #7

  8. #8


    Just because a person has incontinence doesn't mean he/she is automatically going to think that being ab sounds like fun. Your friend is probably rather embarrassed about the problem, and equating it to babyhood would likely increase that embarrassment. Does your friend already wear diapers? If not, and the bedwetting is that frequent, then he/she probably doesn't like the idea.

    Nevertheless, it doesn't hurt to suggest diapers, in a non-ab context, as a way to manage the problem. Perhaps emphasize the fact that it would be better than waking up in a wet bed.

    I wouldn't bring infantilism into the conversation unless you're very close to this person. I could see in some situations, perhaps knowing that a friend wears diapers - and likes them! - might be encouraging. But you can never really be sure of a person's reaction, so as another poster has mentioned, you need to tread lightly in this situation.

  9. #9


    Great advise from Kawaiii. I think the logical take would be to suggest to him to look on the internet for an incontinence support site. From there one thing may lead to another, with wearing diapers as a good way to control accidents. After a while you might have a starting place for more discussions. Give him a year before you move to the next discussion about diaper lovers or adult babies. As others have wisely said, tread lightly.

  10. #10


    I agree with Kawii. Proceed with caution and do not expect any particular conclusions. For me, bed wetting was a problem and diapers were a good solution. Therefore, I like wearing diapers. The AB portion does not interest me. Coming to accept myself as I am, diapers and all, was a difficult journey. Helping your friend find their solution and find acceptance of themself is a good goal.

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