Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Hello, my name is 'ashamed'

  1. #1

    Default Hello, my name is 'ashamed'

    At first I want to apologize about my english since it is not my native language.

    I feel ashamed.

    When the little part inside me comes to light, all I can feel is a pure shame. Deep shame, helplessness and quandary.

    The simple but strong desire: "I wish you were not there." is haunting me everytime I lie in bed sleepless.

    I can deny it for some time. Let her go deep inside me and not let anything of her go to plain view of mine. But I can't beat her because she ins't 'something' what one could fight. She has always been there and always will be.

    Everything would be so much easier. Relationships, life but even a simple lying in bed at cold nights with thoughts that I have nobody to really turn to as a baby girl. Which I really am. And I am not sure if that makes me happy.

    But I know that between the hard times of thinking about everything I will find myself in a diaper, onesie, pacifier in my mouth and giggling with my Teddy bear.

    And that makes me really happy.

  2. #2

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by littlejoanne View Post
    At first I want to apologize about my english since it is not my native language.

    I feel ashamed.
    Welcome to ADISC. I think this community may be just what you're looking for, in terms of support. I totally understand those shameful feelings. But listen... when it gets right down to it.... it's not that you are upset over being an AB, it's that you are upset with yourself for not being normal. So, I mean to say, being AB isn't your problem. Your trouble with feeling abnormal is your problem.

    It's okay to be different, and weird even. When it gets right down to it, society places expectations on us that are impossible to fill. So no one is going to be perfect. It would do you a lot of good to accept yourself as unusual and with an unusual interest, but not let that change your opinion of yourself. There are many other aspects to you. Focusing on one perceived flaw is going to drive you crazy. So, remember, you are a complete person, as you are, right this second. We all are.

    Try to find acceptance here, I really think you can. Just remember, you're not troubled by being AB; you're troubled by how being AB causes you to perceive yourself.

    I hope you can find some solace in that and try to find some balance, and try to love yourself unconditionally.

  3. #3

    Default

    Joanne,

    Welcome to ADISC. *Hugs* We are here for you. We love you the way you are. To be honest we like you even more because you are like us. You understand the desires. You understand the pain we go through. We want to be here for you to help you find more joy and less shame in who you are. We want you to have positive voices here to listen to so that the negative thoughts and voices will be quieter and less important. I want you to be comfortable and happy with who you are.
    Fascinating.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by littlejoanne View Post
    At first I want to apologize about my english since it is not my native language.

    I feel ashamed.

    When the little part inside me comes to light, all I can feel is a pure shame. Deep shame, helplessness and quandary.

    The simple but strong desire: "I wish you were not there." is haunting me everytime I lie in bed sleepless.

    I can deny it for some time. Let her go deep inside me and not let anything of her go to plain view of mine. But I can't beat her because she ins't 'something' what one could fight. She has always been there and always will be.

    Everything would be so much easier. Relationships, life but even a simple lying in bed at cold nights with thoughts that I have nobody to really turn to as a baby girl. Which I really am. And I am not sure if that makes me happy.

    But I know that between the hard times of thinking about everything I will find myself in a diaper, onesie, pacifier in my mouth and giggling with my Teddy bear.

    And that makes me really happy.
    Your command of English is quite sufficient for communication, so don't worry there.

    I am sure quite a lot of us have felt the shame you speak of. "Seems like I should not do this, I could stop this if I tried harder." But it is not so much something we do as someone we are. It is as if that little girl is a second person in your self, and that person will not be denied. This is especially true if you found that are part baby when you were truly young, like under 12 years old.

    There is a book we toss around here, "There's a Baby in my Bed!", by Rosalie Bent. The author is a psychologist who married an adult baby, so she has a good handle on it. Although the book is written to be addressed to the baby's partner, trying to understand and help, I think it is very good information on helping the baby to come to terms with herself. It has been a great help to me, even though my wife will not read it.

    You will find a lot of good friends here, so feel free to unload.

  5. #5

    Default

    Hi and welcome, Joanne. Your feelings and desires are nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of. Trust me, you're in good company here with people who understand. I look forward to seeing you around.

  6. #6

    Default

    Hello Joanne and welcome.

    Making peace with your little one can be hard. But she’s there and wants out and she wants to be useful and pleasant contribution to your life. I’m also struggling with that at times, but I have found this website to be very helpful.

    Your English is better than most natives actually.

    Good to have you here.

  7. #7

    Default

    Hey there, and welcome It's nothing to be ashamed of, as you'll see with time. I used to feel like that too, but it's just something you do, it's not hurting anyone, and if you hang around long enough, you'll realize this isn't anything bad or shameful. Hope you like it here, and hope you'll come around ^^

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by littlejoanne View Post
    At first I want to apologize about my english since it is not my native language.

    I feel ashamed.

    When the little part inside me comes to light, all I can feel is a pure shame. Deep shame, helplessness and quandary.

    The simple but strong desire: "I wish you were not there." is haunting me everytime I lie in bed sleepless.

    I can deny it for some time. Let her go deep inside me and not let anything of her go to plain view of mine. But I can't beat her because she ins't 'something' what one could fight. She has always been there and always will be.

    Everything would be so much easier. Relationships, life but even a simple lying in bed at cold nights with thoughts that I have nobody to really turn to as a baby girl. Which I really am. And I am not sure if that makes me happy.

    But I know that between the hard times of thinking about everything I will find myself in a diaper, onesie, pacifier in my mouth and giggling with my Teddy bear.

    And that makes me really happy.
    I know how you feel. While I have been curious to try it and see if maybe I'm an AB out DL, I do feel a bit weird about it.

  9. #9

    Default

    I just can't describe how your kind words helped me. Really. I felt so warm when reading all these beautiful comments - thank you!

Similar Threads

  1. Do you sometimes feel ashamed?.
    By Lozza1979 in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 01-Mar-2014, 01:44
  2. Why Not to Be Ashamed or Angry.
    By Shadowhawk in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 08-Oct-2012, 16:58
  3. Feeling ashamed
    By NYC in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 22-Sep-2012, 00:56
  4. No Longer Ashamed
    By DLking in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05-Feb-2012, 07:50
  5. Can someone lecture me about being ashamed of being a TB
    By teamaster in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 30-Aug-2011, 11:00

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.