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Thread: Friendships Formed Through Diapers/Roleplaying

  1. #1

    Default Friendships Formed Through Diapers/Roleplaying

    A little background first: As of early March of this year, I've been trying to rid myself of my diaper fetish. Or, more accurately, I've been trying to lessen my dependency on them for sexual and emotional satisfaction, and gain control of my urges and dreams, which for a while had gone pretty haywire. I'm the type of person that likes to limit things in order to keep an overall balance in my life, and diapers are no exception to this mentality. I've tried quitting before, and at most, those periods lasted only a few weeks until I eventually broke down and found a compromise. However, this time was and is still different. When I decided to go cold turkey this time, I felt ready to move on, and the process turned out to be much easier than before. I had a weak moment or two in between, but overall I've gone about three months without any strong urges or roleplaying needs. I even decided to delete my Deviant Art account, which was actually a pretty liberating experience for someone who used to be so dependent on it.

    Now on to the main point of discussion. I've built up a nice amount of online friends through the *B/DL community over the past few years, and I had always thought that there was no difference between a physical friend and an online friend, since the friendship was still there either way. However, when I told a few of my online friends about my desire to quit and lack of desire to roleplay (or, in some cases, gawk at their diaper pics), I was shocked at the speed at which they lost interest in me. Now this wasn't the case for all of them; those which I found a strong friendship outside of diapers are still very dear to me, and I still chat with them frequently. But I'm still just shocked by some of them, since there were times when my connection with them was so strong, I thought it might have been love. Admittedly, there were times when I only wanted to talk to them because I knew that they'd baby me or make me feel cute in some way, and I knew it was the same for them. I could tell by the way they talked or typed. By the end of it, I felt like I was just used as a means to an end, and the worst part is that I probably made them feel the same way.

    Sorry if I rambled on for a bit up there, but my main question is this: What are your opinions on friendships formed through diapers and ageplay? Do you think it's harder to maintain one once diapers are taken out of the equation?

  2. #2

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    I think it's a larger question than diapers, specifically. It extends to any friendship or relationship based on only one or two common factors between the participants.

    Consider this: The non-diapered people with whom you're friends-what do you have in common with them? For me, I have a friend called Chris. We've been friends since junior high. I stood in his wedding. My old Lincoln Continental is in his garage. Mr. Aurkarm and I hang out with Chris and his wife regularly. And, we have a fair bit in common. We both like camping, cars, watching movies. We grew up in the same community. We enjoy playing board games and arcade games. We both are prone to doing occasional redneck engineering. We have similar senses of humor and our personalities work well together. We've remained friends not just because we went to the same school, or because we worked together on a project in high school. There's a whole package of attributes that form that friendship.

    I could go on naming various friends and the various things that help us remain friends. A couple of months ago, I had coffee with a friend of mine from high school that, aside from occasional posts on Facebook, I hadn't seen in over a decade. This person and I have been friends since junior high as well. We both are huge Star Trek fans, share political beliefs, and we can talk about movies and various big ideas. We hadn't seen each other in over a decade, yet we were able to spend a few hours hanging out like no time at all had passed.

    And, I have a few diaper friends for whom I could say similar things. One person and I can sit and talk home renovation, cars, stupid youthful hijinks, and various other things. We met at a diaper party, but we're friends because we have other stuff in common. Again, I could go over a few people like this.

    The point is that you need more than one trait to maintain a friendship. Otherwise, once you've run out of that one topic's worth of conversation or interest, there's little there to hold the relationship together. There are people from college with whom I was great friends once. Over the years, we've drifted apart, and when we meet up again, there's little left to keep a friendship going. It turns out that we only really had a couple of things in common at the time, so now, while we still get on well enough, there's not enough there to sustain a long conversation.

    And I imagine that something similar is what you're facing here. There might be a couple of those online friendships where you figured out more stuff than diapers to discuss, but the rest? Probably not, especially for the people with whom you were doing RPs or basically being each other's masturbation material. It's not so much that it's harder to maintain diaper friendships. It's harder to maintain one-interest friendships.

    Does that make sense?

  3. #3

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    That does make sense, and I've been in similar situations in real life outside of anything related to diapers. However, I believe that when something related to sexual pleasure, like diapers, is involved, it's harder to distinguish between a strong friendship and a convenient friendship. For example, one of these friends and I had plenty in common aside from diapers, and there were times when we had conversations completely separate from said subject and enjoyed one another's online company. However, when I took the diapers and occasional roleplaying out of the equation for good, their interest in our friendship dropped very quickly. Regardless of how many things we had in common, if I couldn't be used for, as you said, masturbation material, I wasn't worth the time. I imagine that I'm not the only one who's experienced something like this.

  4. #4

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    Hello

    I agree with what GoldDragonAurkram said.

    I have friend that I call. I have friends that I talk to on Facebook, and I have friends that I have made here on ADISC.

    There is cross over in all three areas of one to the other, but I have not gone from ADISC to the phone yet. It may happen but I am not going to push it.

    One note friends get very boring very quickly and they usually drop to the wayside fast.

    But to me a true friend is something I cherish very much and as for my Diaper side that is a personal thing that will stay off in its own compartment because of the issues that caused it.

    Egor

  5. #5

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    Is it harder to maintain the friendship if the main subject, you talked about most of the time, is taken out by choice, and a kind of mutual agreement?
    I'd probably say yes, since... it has been what the friendship or to be specific the interest both had is about. And this is just what you have experienced with some already.

    But you can shorten it anyway. Take it away and the question will be: What's left?
    Some may say now what you did expect from people that push way too private pics directly into your face... which is a kind of relevant question up to some degree, by the fact of what kinds of people you like to have around you. Just saying, it may not matter that much anyway.

    Furthermore, in the end it never has to be that way, if there has been more. So I'd change this question also to: Has it really been a friendship ultimately? (Or just some kind of exchange of information and experience, a good time friend or something in between.)

    There are many forms of friendships, but certain characteristics are present in many types of friendship. Those include sympathy, empathy, trust, honesty, compassion, enjoyment of each other's company and anyway the ability the express your feelings without the fear of judgment from your "friend". Hence a friendship is simply a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people.
    The japanese language has a kind of funny word for it, which describes it perfectly: Kenzoku, which means "family", but it's used to describe a bond between people who've made a similar commitment and who possibly therefore share a similar destiny. It implies the presence of the deepest connection of friendship, of lives lived as comrades from the distant past.

    However... this rather describes very good friendships, where nearly every characteristic of a friendship exists. So what happens if there's just nothing of those mentioned traits or if one vanishes? It's just the other end of the ladder, someone we know/knew, perhaps a kind of "good time" friend. Which is okay, but it's nothing serious in the end. And it simply happens a lot. You get to know people, you talk with them, but after some time there is simply nothing that holds you together.
    Although mind you this can still be extremely onesided. You or your friend may think that it's a friendship due to any feeling that may occur, but it doesn't mean it's that way for the other person. S/he may simply be that different or think differently about the connection between you two, with or without bad intentions which are not even relevant up to some point, so it starts to stagnate at some point.

    It's no one's fault, it happens. You can ask yourself if you put too much into it, but on the other hand perhaps a lot of friendships may not even have started to exist then, if you're not willingly open and sociable. This decision is up to everyone by him/herself, but no one is wrong inherently.

    Perhaps don't try to expect too much sometimes, even if you feel very attached to someone. Ultimately you can't force anyone. Just enjoy the time you spent together and after some time you'll see what kind of connection or even a friendship it may be.

    Personally, from my experience it's just like that. Diapers, roleplay, even Anime/Manga stuff or anything else you may share is one indicator that you might go along well. I shared one thing with a lot of people. But after some time it's always clear that if there are not more things that we enjoy, like (to talk about), and especially that we may like eachother up to some degree, then we will part ways kind of unintentional. It happens, since there is nothing left after some time.
    So I guess my strategy usually is to keep on talking if we both (tend) to enjoy it and if we can't find other things, or like to bother eachother with different things ;)... then it's okay if that's just it. It's been fun perhaps, but you can't force more if there ain't a... goal?


    Best wishes & keep going! Some people surely feel the same about you as you feel about them. =)
    Last edited by daLira; 29-May-2014 at 21:08.

  6. #6

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    As someone who formed a friendship, and actually a family member (Well... more or less.) On, what might as well be diapers. I can say it can be an interesting relationship. I met my BBBFF (Big Brother Best Friend Forever for those of you who don't know the abbreviation.) through the topic of diapers. It started as friends at first, we didn't really talk about anything but ab/dl-ism and ponies. Eventually we started to talk and while diapers and adult baby things are still a big part of our relationship, I don't think removing that would affect it too much. I mean yeah one of us would probably go into shock if the other suddenly said they didn't want to focus that much on that anymore for a long while and/or forever, but I don't think that should affect it. In my opinion, if someone is only friends with you for one thing, such as sexual roleplay and/or just normal roleplay, and that's it, then they aren't worth being friends with. Being able to genuinely call someone your friend, is when you can go to them for your problems, when you can lean on them and tell them things that frankly, you just can't say to just any old acquaintance of colleague.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by AddyShadows View Post
    As someone who formed a friendship, and actually a family member (Well... more or less.) On, what might as well be diapers. I can say it can be an interesting relationship. I met my BBBFF (Big Brother Best Friend Forever for those of you who don't know the abbreviation.) through the topic of diapers. It started as friends at first, we didn't really talk about anything but ab/dl-ism and ponies. Eventually we started to talk and while diapers and adult baby things are still a big part of our relationship, I don't think removing that would affect it too much. I mean yeah one of us would probably go into shock if the other suddenly said they didn't want to focus that much on that anymore for a long while and/or forever, but I don't think that should affect it. In my opinion, if someone is only friends with you for one thing, such as sexual roleplay and/or just normal roleplay, and that's it, then they aren't worth being friends with. Being able to genuinely call someone your friend, is when you can go to them for your problems, when you can lean on them and tell them things that frankly, you just can't say to just any old acquaintance of colleague.
    I completely agree with what Addy said. A friend is a person you can really go to lean on when you need too, or cry on when you need a shoulder to do so on. They're that person you know, you can always turn to when you need to. Even at the darkest of moments in your life!

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