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Thread: Humiliation?

  1. #1

    Default Humiliation?

    Just curious to see other's take on this.

    I've heard people say that a desire to be publicly treated like a baby or small child is due partly to a desire to be humiliated.

    Back in grade school, one of my fantasies was that the school would have a diaper punishment routine for discipline. Fortunately for me there was no such policy at any of my schools or I would have been in trouble so often I probably would have become a career criminal. The idea behind a policy like this would be the assumption that the humiliation caused by being forced into wearing and using diapers would be so great it would deter further bad behavior on the part of the child involved.

    For a DL, the idea of being forced into diapers can be very appealing. Not because of any assumed humiliation but because the idea of being forced takes away the real humiliation of having it become known that one enjoys wearing diapers. It gives the DL the oportunity to wear in front of everyone relatively free of real humiliation. He/she would have to pretend to be humiliated so as to hide the real secret, but the experience would be far more pleasing than actually humiliating.

    I can see how a little physical pain can be exciting to some but I don't see how humiliation can ever feel good or be desireable. Am I missing something?

  2. #2

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    it mostly adds to the feeling of being a sub or less of a person than the person taking care of you. It very much makes you feel like you are being controlled and that your dom can do whatever they want to you and you can't do anything about it.

    On a random side not I don't believe these diaper discipline scenarios would actually work if it was sued because people would become used to them after a while and the shock of "oh he's wearing a diaper," kind of fades away cuz people will have seen it so often. Not really relevant but just a random thought.

  3. #3

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    I've had therapists tell me that the humiliation is a turn-on, especially for more dominant personalities who like to be "put in their place" in their private lives.

    I've also had therapists tell me that the desire to be babied - whether humiliated or not - is a manifestation of some sort of rage ... against your mother, against a particular caregiver, against the way you were treated when you were an actual child.

    I think humiliation is tied to loss of control, in one way or another. If you're humiliated and put back into diapers, as a bed wetter might be, you've effectively lost control. For a DL to be humiliated by being "forced" into diapers is tantamount to the same thing.

    As has been pointed out to me again and again, "real" babies are never humiliated. Diapers and other care manifestations are provided for them out of necessity. Once that necessity is no longer physically or biologically present, I think there's some level of humiliation involved. As blablafreckenlover notes, some amount of humiliation makes you feel controlled and compelled to do whatever your caregiver wants.

    I prefer to be "babied" in a matter-of-fact way by someone who has babysat me before. That way, they're accustomed to my baby dress and mannerisms and begin to treat me as they would a "real" child. I don't find the humiliation involved in an initial babysitting session particularly pleasant ... but it's always there to some degree.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Drifter View Post
    a desire to be publicly treated like a baby or small child is due partly to a desire to be humiliated.
    This may be true for the masochistic AB (Understanding Infantilism) but I think that the opposite is true of the vestic AB. For the vestic AB, it's not about humiliation. The fantasy of being taken to the park or going to movie in full baby mode is about authenticity not humiliation. I feel like a baby so I want to be treated like a baby, publicly and privately. What stops me from doing this in public is the fear of humiliation (beside the fact that I have no right to force my kink on anyone).

  5. #5

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    I like the idea of humiliation to some degree, though it's not something I go out and seek. Occasionally my wife will raise her eyebrows at me when my diaper shows a lot. I wonder if AB/DLs who go out in public diapered, knowing there's a chance their diaper will be noticed, enjoy it because it's humiliating, being seen as an adult baby by an adult stranger?

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbmccue View Post
    As has been pointed out to me again and again, "real" babies are never humiliated. Diapers and other care manifestations are provided for them out of necessity. Once that necessity is no longer physically or biologically present, I think there's some level of humiliation involved. As blablafreckenlover notes, some amount of humiliation makes you feel controlled and compelled to do whatever your caregiver wants.
    Everybody's different and it could be that I am merely projecting my own feelings on to others but I think in most cases there is a distinction between being actually humiliated, which is a bad feeling, and being in a situation that is perceived as humiliating by others. The scenario where a dominant caregiver has total control over you is appealing only as long as the dominant one does just what you want. In other words, you need some control over how the scene plays out in order to get some satisfaction. The illusion that someone else has total control is appealing in that it shifts much of the actual humiliation away from you and onto the one who is in charge. Here the actual humiliation would come if you were to be outed as someone who enjoys using diapers. By having someone else "in charge" you are not entirely responsible for your actions.

    It's easy to imagine dominant/submissive relationships where the "submissive" one is actually the more controlling. People here have told of situations where a "submissive" baby was very demanding as to exactly how he/she is to be dominated. In cases of succesful relationships the actual control is most likely equally shared while maintaining the illusion that one person has control over the other.



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I like the idea of humiliation to some degree, though it's not something I go out and seek. Occasionally my wife will raise her eyebrows at me when my diaper shows a lot. I wonder if AB/DLs who go out in public diapered, knowing there's a chance their diaper will be noticed, enjoy it because it's humiliating, being seen as an adult baby by an adult stranger?
    I had to laugh when I read this because lately I've been getting a bit "careless" with my diapers. To me, being humiliated is about as much fun as having a hangover, and could have longer lasting negative effects, so my behavior doesn't come from a desire to feel humiliated. Admittedly there is a degree of excitement involved with risky behavior, and this is where the appeal is, but the humiliation could be bad and would definitely be undesirable. I would compare it to the potential of getting injured in sports. This potential makes the game more exciting but almost no one ever deliberately seeks to get injured.

  7. #7
    CrinklySiren

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    Just like you might not understand BDSM, Rope-play, Fire Play, Knife Play etc. you're not gonna understand every kink.

    What you're not getting is the same desire as those who desire it. Simple as that. Some things just don't have an explanation (like being ABDL for example xD)

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by CrinklyEmilyLG View Post
    Just like you might not understand BDSM, Rope-play, Fire Play, Knife Play etc. you're not gonna understand every kink.

    What you're not getting is the same desire as those who desire it. Simple as that. Some things just don't have an explanation (like being ABDL for example xD)
    We ABDLs do understand kinks. Pretty much all of them. We know first hand what it's like to desire something bizzare. We can't explain them but we do understand what it is to have these desires. The thing with desiring humiliation, though, is that it appears to be a logical impossibility. It's like saying you enjoy something that you don't enjoy. We enjoy things that normally would be considered humiliating but that isn't the same as enjoying humiliation. To me, anyway, saying that ABDLs somehow desire humiliation is just a bunch of psycho-babble that throws any discussion of the topic off track.

  9. #9
    CrinklySiren

    Default Humiliation?

    That's not what I'm saying. I mean a explanation, not an understanding.

    In your original post, you are inquiring about an explanation: "is there something I'm missing?" When there is no solid explanation to your question. There is no true understanding for you personally unless you too feel it. You understand kinks, yes, But not the specifics as to why those kinks are more prominent in some than in others.

    Like eating spicy food or sour candy, it's not pleasurable to eat, but some people just enjoy the discomfort. Humiliation is "emotional pain", so it falls under the same "pain for pleasure" category

  10. #10

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    For me, this is the part that turns me on, to be forced in diapers and treated like a 18 months to 2-3yrs old is really what I enjoy the most, I've never ever understood why it was like this, my main fantasy involve my character as a 4-5 or 6 yrs old that has many accidents lately, sometimes he already wear Pull-Ups or diapers at night time, but now he's being forced in diapers and treated like a baby. That just turn me on and I have a blast each time. Lets be clear on 1 thing here, I would never ever think about doing it to a person that is less than 18-21 yrs old, that would be child abuse at some degree I'm quite sure. I have some real memories of a classroom in my first school that was caring for some troubled kids (now that I think of them they were probably some autist kids there and some severely handicapped) at the equivalent of kindergarten, and I know for a fact I was sent there once to see in a special room with a changing table and plenty of diapers, it was just a threat our teachers made that if we weren't behaving or had any accidents we would visit that changing table, when I was older, I remember a case with no name or anything that went into the medias and that could have happened there that one or more kids could have been diapered there, but I can't be sure if this was the place it happened.

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