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Thread: never grew up?

  1. #1

    Default never grew up?

    Hey, spikey here. Been a while since I posted in a thread and even longer since I started a proper one myself. Now I am not sure if this had been a topic before (as in exactly the way I am asking), but I was wondering how many others actually identify as never having grown up past a certain age? So I would love to hear people's stories on this and basically would like to hear what age those others like me identify with. Considering how many times I have talked about my own experience in said matter I do not think it necessary for me to post it again. So yeah haha

  2. #2

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    I don't feel as though I have grown past age 11 or 12 maby younger than that. I turn 22 in two weeks but I don't feel anywhere near my actual age. Its really hard to explain. Its like I'm younger but with more freedom and responsibilities like being able to drive and work.

  3. #3

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    I feel that way sometimes, but it's more because nobody in my family wants to treat me like a 20 year old, they just act like I'm 14, it's kind of frustrating. That might be a little different than what you were asking but I feel like I wouldn't contribute anything if I just responded with no.

  4. #4

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    Very good question

    Somehow I'm stuck at about 16 I think. I guess it has something to do with things happening at that time like moving to a new and really nice town, the divorce of my parents (which gave me sort of freedom, my mom moved out and my dad didn't care too much about what I was doing) and of course first time wearing proper adult diapers. It was a very good time and diapers kind of take me back to it. But I also have the impression, that the way I approach or think about things hasn't changed very much since then, for example a growing interest in how the world works beyond what school and others are trying to tell you as well as not giving much about what others think.

    Other things have changed quite a lot over the past 10 years, I'm living together with my girlfriend, I have more responsibilities, I have a lot more knowledge, but feeling like 16 has become sort of a baseline...

  5. #5

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    I was never allowed to grow-up, have an opinion, have self-esteem, laugh and cry, have self-respect, have a girl friend, (all of my relationships turn into train wrecks within weeks) have pride in my accomplishments, ect etc etc....
    I feel the same way that I did at about thirteen or so.

  6. #6

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    Unfortunately it's hard to live as a productive member of society without growing up at least a little.

    One can still maintain an attachment to "childish" things, but I think it's impossible to maintain a child-like mindset while holding down a job/owning a house/having adult relationships/etc, and these are all kinda good things. Much as it sounds fun in principle, and while I sometimes fantasize about being a kid again, if I'm honest about it I like being an adult with a handful of child-like tendencies.

  7. #7

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    I had a psychotic break when I was 12 years old. My parents were going bankrupt and we suddenly had to move. I had a very good friend as boys tend to bond at that age. Suddenly that relationship was severed. I lost an entire week of consciousness and reality. When I realized I was in the new house and neighborhood, my mom explained to me that I had a nervous breakdown, which was what they called it back then.

    Now I identify with the age of 12. I have always had responsible jobs and have handled them well. I deal with adults, and have taught kids as well. Even so, deep down inside, I have always felt like I'm not an adult. Ironically, my novel is about two 11 year olds and a 12 year old girl.

  8. #8

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    wow, haha great to see so many responses! I am sorry to hear about what some of you went through, and having recently gone temporarily insane (I am not using the word lightly) I can relate to you dogboy. I never knew what to expect when I started this thread, as far as what ages people identified with. I certainly didn't expect so many teens/preteens haha. This has actually been quite interesting to read all the stories posted.

    In response to

    Quote Originally Posted by BoundCoder View Post
    Unfortunately it's hard to live as a productive member of society without growing up at least a little.

    One can still maintain an attachment to "childish" things, but I think it's impossible to maintain a child-like mindset while holding down a job/owning a house/having adult relationships/etc, and these are all kinda good things. Much as it sounds fun in principle, and while I sometimes fantasize about being a kid again, if I'm honest about it I like being an adult with a handful of child-like tendencies.
    , I will say that that is a fair point to make. however, (and I am only speaking for myself here as I am unsure as to how others would respond or explain things), I learned how to pretend to grow up. my parents were proud of me in my first 3 or 4 years where I was more mature than my age would suggest, and when my age started outgrowing my maturity level I became ostracized from my friends (some even decided to bully me over it) and I was receiving pressure from the adults in my life to keep my maturity growing at the rate it had previously, so I pretended. I put up a mask to make my parents proud and to attempt to regain any friends I could and keep any I had left; to fit into my societal "norm". and what can I say except I got really good at it? I mean, yes I am a lot more intelligent then a 4 year old would normally be, but that really doesn't have much to do with growing up as much as it does simply having the time to learn it. I realize that last bit may seem a little odd-sounding; I don't quite know how to phrase it so it can be understood, but I guess a simple way of saying things would be this : There are some people who may have physically grown, and have obviously increased our knowledge through education, that are emotionally/(I guess you could say) spiritually kids or teens or whatever, and that some of us in that group simply learned how to make a dang good mask to hide behind.

    once again, thanks everyone who has replied. the varying opinions and experiences that have popped up are quite a thing to behold (imo), and I hope to be able to read more responses going forward

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by KidSpike13 View Post
    In response to , I will say that that is a fair point to make. however, (and I am only speaking for myself here as I am unsure as to how others would respond or explain things), I learned how to pretend to grow up. my parents were proud of me in my first 3 or 4 years where I was more mature than my age would suggest, and when my age started outgrowing my maturity level I became ostracized from my friends (some even decided to bully me over it) and I was receiving pressure from the adults in my life to keep my maturity growing at the rate it had previously, so I pretended. I put up a mask to make my parents proud and to attempt to regain any friends I could and keep any I had left; to fit into my societal "norm". and what can I say except I got really good at it? I mean, yes I am a lot more intelligent then a 4 year old would normally be, but that really doesn't have much to do with growing up as much as it does simply having the time to learn it. I realize that last bit may seem a little odd-sounding; I don't quite know how to phrase it so it can be understood, but I guess a simple way of saying things would be this : There are some people who may have physically grown, and have obviously increased our knowledge through education, that are emotionally/(I guess you could say) spiritually kids or teens or whatever, and that some of us in that group simply learned how to make a dang good mask to hide behind.
    That is quite a good point. It is like constantly testing the limits of what society is capable of accepting. At the time described in my above post I did away with society alltogether. I was (and still am) very interested in how society works, but I decided, as far as it is possible, not to be a part of it anymore. Of course you still have peers and relations into that world, but somehow now you are living in another world, at least partially. And this is still a very central aspect of my life. But it also means constantly questioning everything that happens around you, to look at every aspect of everyday life and ask 'Why do I do this?'. I was perfectly capable of asking this kind of questions when I was 16 (or even earlier) and on the long run I stopped doing what everyone excpected me to do. My mom always wanted me to work as a bank clerk or car mechatronic, but I stayed in school and afterwards went to university. I was basicly forced by my family to make my drivers licence at age 25, not because I need it (I live in a big city, no need for a car) but because that's what a responsible adult is supposed to do. At the same time, my aunt started asking, whether it isn't time to cut my hair and trim my beard, and maybe, wear normal clothes...

    I see adolescence as a sort of transition phase, you are no longer a kid, but at the same time you are no adult yet. This phase is one of the weirdest conventions in our societies, because over several years, say from 13 to 18, you have no proper place in society. I always had lots of friends and many of them had really great visions and ideas of what to do with their lifes and how to contribute to society in a helpful and meaningful way. But it never happened. All this plans came to a sudden halt because you have to become an adult to be accepted as a full member of society. Now most of them are working 9-5, are concerned about the next Snickers Special Edition might only be available for a few months, discuss whether BMW, Audi, or VW is the better brand to buy when it comes to depreciation etc.

    I never wanted this and even though I have to make compromises at times I am the one to decide. But, after all that rambling, I wouldn't say that I am wearing a 'adult-mask' when I'm socially interacting. It is all a part of me and I have no problems being everything at the same time. Maybe I didn't stop growing up but rather took an alternative path at some point in the past. That sounds, at least for me, quite reasonable.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by BoundCoder View Post
    Unfortunately it's hard to live as a productive member of society without growing up at least a little.

    One can still maintain an attachment to "childish" things, but I think it's impossible to maintain a child-like mindset while holding down a job/owning a house/having adult relationships/etc, and these are all kinda good things. Much as it sounds fun in principle, and while I sometimes fantasize about being a kid again, if I'm honest about it I like being an adult with a handful of child-like tendencies.
    The outside world sees me indeed as an adult with (quite a few more than a handful) childish tendencies. I see myself rather as a (very precocious) little boy trying to survive in an unpleasant adult world. I praise myself lucky that I have the ability to function and even excel in the adult world but it sure does not fulfill me in any way and it takes a huge toll on my energy. I've tried and tried again to be happy about what I achieved but no matter how successful I have been, it just doesn't work for me. I just couldn't care less about what I am supposed to care about as an adult. Politics, economy, religion, adult relationships, ... not my cup of tea.
    .
    The only time in my live when I was truly happy was when I was a small kid. Once I had to go to school bad things started happening to me, and that seems to be the story of my life. I often think I am just to friendly for this world and people either bully me, take advantage of me or hurt my feelings. So why would I want to be part of their world? I rather retreat in my own little space, and only act as the adult when I have to. Holding a job and owning a house did and will not change that for me.

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