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Thread: Doesn't Sex Hurt for Females?

  1. #1

    Default Doesn't Sex Hurt for Females?

    This question has been floating around in my mind for some time now. I'm a female virgin, and I'm having trouble understanding how regular straight sex is not a terribly painful experience for biological women. I mean, getting a pelvic exam at the gynocologist hurts like hell, so how is sexual intercourse different? I know stuff widens up down there when one is aroused, but does that really make all the difference?

  2. #2


    It does hurt the first few times because your vagina is so small and it has to stretch out for the penis to fit in it. Plus it's even easier when you have kids because it has been stretched from when your baby passed through it during birth. Your vagina never goes back to completely normal after having a baby.

  3. #3

  4. #4


    Regardless, you're definitely going to want to do it again.

  5. #5

  6. #6


    Not really, it can but if you do it right it shouldn't or atleast very little. How to Lose Your Virginity Without Pain (Girls): 10 Steps

  7. #7


    Plain regular straight sex should not hurt at all, so don't worry too much. Although I know it's hard to stop those thoughts until you've experienced it in the end.

    Anyway, despite what has been kind of mentioned if you're a virgin that it might hurt a bit, although it shouldn't really... since we're not living in dark mid age times anymore, or even a bit later, where you should've been married with 14 and get some kids. So it's the usual thingy about waiting until you're ready. With 20+ it's perfectly fine, your hymen started to wear away big time already just due to natural things. And besides whatever remain there still is we're also not living in africa, it's not okay to hurt someone willingly. If the person you want to have intercourse with is trying to do that, then it's okay to push him away immediately, or on the other hand I'd say it's perfectly fine to hurt him too, or not? ;)
    And secondly a good recommendation is to try the "female on top position". Any pain, or mental barrier, is relieved that way. It put's the woman in control, and even if it's more of a placebo you will feel more relaxed that way. And being more relaxed means being more sexual than stressed.

    Anyway, one big factor in general is simply being relaxed. Or to be specific: Having other things on your mind so that you're simply not in the mood. For guys it's easy to spot, there's just not going on much down below. If you're not aroused it just doesn't work as it does for men. Usually, when a woman is sexually aroused, fluids are secreted in the vagina that keep the lining well lubricated. But if a woman is not sexually aroused, or if fluids are not secreted for some other reason, intercourse can cause very painful damage to the vaginal lining. And in some cases, the lining of the vagina can actually tear, resulting in post-intercourse bleeding. Besides that it will not be an activity that you would enjoy that much anyway.

    In everyday language you could also call it lack of foreplay. Although I'm just kidding, but it helps a lot if you think that you "could" be in the mood for it.

    Other than that it might be any kind of infection up to tears in the ligaments that support the uterus, infections of the cervix, uterus or tubes, endometriosis, or cysts or tumors on the ovaries. And especially if you're experiencing pain deep down in the Pelvis you should visit your gynocologist, besides that you can also talk to him about certain things anyway.
    And if he'd be hurting me, since usually they don't seem to have "some spare time", so they just rush things. Which will stress you too, so you tend to be cramped even more and it hurts in the end... It's not wrong checking out other gynocologists, especially by verbal recommendations from your friends. Not everyone is an rude ass.

    Furthermore, if anyone might have whatever kind of disease so that a penetration usually hurts, or just might not like it due to whatever reason... there are much more satisfying ways to experience an orgasm. Probably way too much to test them all in a single lifetime, just saying.

    Don't stress yourself about it. If you find the right person just do what you're in the mood to do. It's an activity you should enjoy, and not worry about.

  8. #8


    My gf was a virgin until she was 28, and I was her first. She has a narrower than normal vagina, so we just took it slow and used lots of lube. Fir the first few times, it did hurt her, but the pleasure rapidly outweighed the pain. I'd see her wince, andask if she wanted to stop, every time, the answer was "no, that feels amazing!"

    The key is to find someone you like and just take it slow, Use lots of extra lube, and explore each other's bodies for a while to help you relax and "loosen up a bit".

    Your body is built to enjoy sex, its our minds that often get in the way

  9. #9


    I'm not dating anyone and am pretty much asexual, so this question was mostly out of curiosity, but seeing that I'd probably like to try sex at least once I appreciate the replies.

  10. #10


    A pelvic exam isn't necessarily comfortable but if you're with a competent provider it shouldn't hurt. Put a well-lubed finger up there (something you should be easily able to take) and see how it feels. You might have an undiagnosed case of vaginismus, which basically causes your pelvic floor muscles to cramp severely on any kind of stimulation. It's a disease that's widely underdiagnosed because so many women who have it assume it's normal and never seek treatment or bring it up- and you're much more likely to miss it if you're not sexually active. Being asexual might actually be a blessing in this case given that to a person with vaginismus, there's no such thing as sex that isn't painful.

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