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Thread: Some positive suggestions?

  1. #1

    Default Some positive suggestions?

    I have ad a love for nappies since I was about 5-6 yrs old and remember stealing baby nappies from my mothers friends when visiting them.
    Anyway..(.on with life).When my wife and I were in UK 2005-2010 I had the opportunity to buy a real adult size terry nappy & pants and used to love having private times with them on and I also wore Tena Maxi during the day as I could hide them with my overalls,& enjoyed wetting while holding a conversation with someone.
    My wife & i left UK in 2010 and went back to Africa until last year,when I lost my wife from an attack in my house one night and I was put in hospital with a big bang to the head!!
    Without going into too much detail, as it's still painfully to me!, I now live in AU
    With my son in law & daughter and have started collecting AB stuff again, eg: plastic Pants, Drinites etc.
    What I would like to know is:
    Is all this behaviour normal or is it because I was hit on te head & suffered concussion? I have been more & more obsessed in getting real nappies etc but am limited due to my living conditions!
    Is this normal?

  2. #2

    Default

    Even though my circumstances are completely different, I can relate very well to your situation.I lost my wife /mommy to leukemia. She was sick for a long time and I had to be an adult and take care of her. I pretty much felt like I had grown over my AB needs but as soon as I was alone my little one resurfaced even stronger than before.

    Is this normal? I guess as long as we are stable and happy, or when we have to be strong for someone else, we are able to suppress our deeper desires. But when you feel alone and vulnerable they come back and there's no stopping them.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kente View Post
    I have ad a love for nappies since I was about 5-6 yrs old and remember stealing baby nappies from my mothers friends when visiting them.
    Anyway..(.on with life).When my wife and I were in UK 2005-2010 I had the opportunity to buy a real adult size terry nappy & pants and used to love having private times with them on and I also wore Tena Maxi during the day as I could hide them with my overalls,& enjoyed wetting while holding a conversation with someone.
    My wife & i left UK in 2010 and went back to Africa until last year,when I lost my wife from an attack in my house one night and I was put in hospital with a big bang to the head!!
    Without going into too much detail, as it's still painfully to me!, I now live in AU
    With my son in law & daughter and have started collecting AB stuff again, eg: plastic Pants, Drinites etc.
    What I would like to know is:
    Is all this behaviour normal or is it because I was hit on te head & suffered concussion? I have been more & more obsessed in getting real nappies etc but am limited due to my living conditions!
    Is this normal?
    Is this normal? This is a question that a lot of us come round to, and some of us over and over like a broken record. I don't think it's normal but only if you're defining normal as what most people do. I think asking "is this normal?" is really the wrong question. The better question to ask is "is this okay?" or "is it harmful?" Many people have their strange secrets and so while liking diapers in and of itself may not be "normal", I think we're in good company having something that we'd rather not go public with, so that's a different way of being normal.

    As to what caused/causes this, we don't know. Personally, I doubt it's based on hitting your head but I won't say that it can't be. Most of us have this interest from a young age (I can remember back to age 3-4 for that) but may wait some time to really act on it. As long as you can manage it with the rest of you're life, it can be a good thing. Personally, I have found that accepting the urges and myself as a good person with a weird but harmless desire, caused a big reduction in the obsessive thoughts. I still want diapers but acceptance and having them available whenever I wanted to wear took the manic edge off it.

    Lastly, I'm very sorry to hear about your wife and hope that things are going better for you now.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Kente View Post
    "..."..." until last year,when I lost my wife from an attack in my house one night and I was put in hospital with a big bang to the head!!"..."..."


    What I would like to know is:
    Is all this behaviour normal or is it because I was hit on te head & suffered concussion? I have been more & more obsessed in getting real nappies etc but am limited due to my living conditions!
    Is this normal?
    Kente,

    I can't see how to improve on Trevor's reply to this... he has covered it nicely in my opinion.

    Elsewise, where I would tempt a bit of a foray into... would be that it seems, at least anecdotally... That there is relation between the intensity of feeling a strong desire to wear diapers and or regress...during higher states of emotion (usually stress and trauma related*)... While such traumas don't appear to be the cause of these desires... it does tend to heighten them!

    So you've had this proclivity since the age of 5-6 years old... long before your recent injury, and terrible loss... the latter of which I can't comprehend, and can only offer my sympathies!

    Seeing as to how you indicate the desires that are growing in intensity for you, and the limited freedom, and room to accommodate such things...as well as the Post Traumatic Stress, and grief appearing to perhaps be an accelerator for such needs/desires... I think that you are quite wounded, and could benefit from some sort of competent grief and trauma counseling service...

    As Trevor has said (paraphrase) Don't concern yourself with normal... concern yourself instead with health and wellness to be the best you that will come of all of this...

    Warmest regards,
    -Marka



    Some Emotional Wellness Options for the Perth W Australia area:



    beyondblue - Home

    Call us
    1300 22 4636

    Web chat
    3pm to 12am

    "Talk it through with us, day or night"



    Life Supports

    Phone 1300 735 030
    8am - 8pm Mon - Fri or 9am - 5:30pm Weekends

    ...grief and loss counselling canít offer you a magic pill to take away the pain, but it can help you with:

    Acceptance
    Working through painful memories and emotions
    Making your grief manageable
    Focusing on the positives
    Learning to enjoy life without guilt

    Grief can be an incredibly isolating emotion, especially if people around you expect you to move on with your life when you donít feel ready. The truth is that there is no typical time period for people to recover from loss.


    And of course... ADISC.org


    "The AB/DL/IC Support Community"
    "ADISC.org is a supportive, social community, catering mainly to adults who wear diapers.

    Our members are:

    Adult Babies (ABs: adults who act babyish for fun)
    Diaper Lovers (DLs: people who enjoy wearing diapers)
    Incontinent people (ICs: bedwetters, the 'accident prone', etc)
    Babyfurs (BFs: people who act like baby animals for fun)



    Many of our members fit into more than one of the above groups."


    *Also, for some people a heightened AB and/or DL intensity may help them to feel happy, while for others it may come because they are happy, or freer to further immerse in it...

  5. #5

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    Thanks so much for those names of councellors.
    I have been to a trauma councellors who feels that I have got my life fairly in 'order' and I can go back to her anytime
    I need...but it's the cost!!!?
    I would love to be able to order some Tena maxi's and wear them everyday, but I can't really order them to my house otherwise my daughter would see them! And I don't know where I can go buy some in Perth!?
    Besides telling my daughter that I need them as I have started 'dribbling', she will immediately book a Dr appointment for me, then I'll have to explain to him!?
    I think it would be safer at this stage to just put on my Terry+Pants at night and be happy with that.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Kente View Post
    Thanks so much for those names of councellors.
    I have been to a trauma councellors who feels that I have got my life fairly in 'order' and I can go back to her anytime
    I need...but it's the cost!!!?
    I would love to be able to order some Tena maxi's and wear them everyday, but I can't really order them to my house otherwise my daughter would see them! And I don't know where I can go buy some in Perth!?
    Besides telling my daughter that I need them as I have started 'dribbling', she will immediately book a Dr appointment for me, then I'll have to explain to him!?
    I think it would be safer at this stage to just put on my Terry+Pants at night and be happy with that.
    Your welcome, Kente! And, I'm glad you are set-up...should you require it further...

    Could you set up a rental box for receiving packages elsewhere? Most diaper packages will be too large for a Post-Office-Box... but some shipping companies here in the 'states' offer package receiving... where you come to pick it up... Just an idea...

    Also... as a tip...if you wish for someone here to see that you've replied to there post... use the

    Reply With Quote
    feature It will then send a notification to that person...so, they'll be sure to see your reply as soon as they're available again...

    Until next time,
    -Marka

  7. #7

    Default

    I'm sorry to hear of your circumstances, I too have lost family who previously lived in Africa during civil unrest.

    Nothing can really be described as "normal" in a society where everyone is seen as individuals because of their nuances. You're no different.
    I don't think your trauma has influenced this scenario, but it's clearly something that plagues your thought. I'm not a psychologist so I can't offer any professional advice, but your situation is "normal" although suffers from the same "devious" label as all our activities do.

    By no means is there anything wrong with you, we all deserve a corner in our mind and lives where we can retreat.

    Do what you feel you have to do, but be wary that your children will also be going through a tough time, everyone has a crucible in their lives that strengthens them, it can be very difficult when they are put through that at a young age. I would avoid drawing attention to yourself as it could confuse your children, and too much misdirection can be damaging. I was damaged as a child myself, and even though it has made me a stronger adult I am still plagued by it.

  8. #8

    Default

    Reading this post, it just further confirms my conclusions that the world is sinking further into total evil. I am sorry that you lost your wife in such a brutal fashion.

    With regards to what is "normal", I myself have batted around those exact same thoughts over and over again. Like yourself, I have had the desires from the same age. I think I did more harm to myself by purging over the years than to, like I have now, totally embrace it and accept that I am an AB. Since doing that, I have really managed to dump the whole guilt thing.

    I do not care what society classes as "normal", as what I am doing is not harming ANYONE. Myself included.

    With regards to getting a supply of nappies, here in New Zealand we are able to have mail sent c/o the counter at our local post shop. There is no charge for that here. Perhaps Australia will have a similar thing.

    Best wishes,

    Christopher.

  9. #9

    Default

    Kente,
    You are as 'normal' as the rest of us here.
    You mentioned that you've been interested in diapers since you were very young.
    Since you've been through a terrible loss, maybe you're looking for comfort and security, etc.
    I'm not a doctor, but in my opinion it has nothing to do with the concussion you have suffered. If you feel the need to be nappied, go for it! It's your business.
    Please accept my sincere condolences regarding your loss. This is an ugly, evil world we live in and the way we cope with it is no one's business but our own.
    Good luck to you, friend.

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