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Thread: Confused rant about homosexual experience, please help....

  1. #1

    Unhappy Confused rant about homosexual experience, please help....

    Sorry if this ends up too long, but I've got a lot on my mind so...
    A couple of months ago a guy I met about 2 YEARS prior in a park (note to self: NEVER give out your phone number to some random kid)
    called me and kept pestering me to hang out with him.
    At first I said no defiantly, and as we were talking somehow I mentioned that I was (and still am) a virgin, and then he invited me over to his house to "meet some girls" I guess?
    I don't know what I was thinking but I went. At first he started talking about how he was going to call some girl that wanted to have sex with me, now I was kind of skeptical. He gave me some clothes to wear because he said my clothes weren't attractive enough. Then he asked a somewhat personal question: if my groin was shaved. I said no. Then for some stupid reason I agreed to have him shave it for me. Again, I don't know what I was thinking Because he was pulling on my penis, naturally I got an erection, and he started to suck my penis. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he thought I had got an erection because I was turned on.
    I have never had the slightest idea that I would be bisexual, and still think that I'm not, but I'm not quite sure. I am not attracted to having sex with a man. He stopped and we then did something that I would consider more normal but a little weird: started watching porn. But then he suggested we watch a GAY porn. Which we did. By this point he had offered me meth, which I reluctantly snorted. Now that we were watching gay porn, he started to jack off. I was a little perturbed but we kept watching.
    A little while after he suggested that we try what we saw.
    Now I was maybe slightly buzzed from the meth and beer, but for some reason I said ok. Then we went into the bathroom and uh, did some stuff. I couldn't get an erection and was reluctant to everything, but for some reason or another I agreed to do it. Now I am confused because, I really could have left at any point but I stayed, and agreed to do everything. Maybe I am too naive or maybe I am too passive, I don't know. But I really do not want to see him ever again (not to mention everything he said was a lie) nor do I have any inkling to do anything with any other guys. He called me several times after that saying annoying things and trying to pressure me more, but I would say no and hang up.
    Sorry if this is long again, I just really wanted to get that off my chest. I didn't tell anyone but my mom, who was understand, I didn't even tell my twin brother whom I tell everything to (except that I like diapers). Thanks for listening to me rant.

  2. #2

    Default

    Next time if you decide to experiment, don't pnp! Your lack of an erection is known as "Crystal dick"

  3. #3

    Default

    That's what the guy said but I really think it is because I wasn't turned on at all.

  4. #4
    Butterfly Mage

    Default

    There's a lot about human sexuality that isn't cut-and-dry. A lot of folks think gay/straight is an either/or thing. The Kinsey Study pretty much determined that sexual orientation has a whole lot of grey area to it. I think the Kinsey Scale goes from "0" for "exclusively homosexual" to "6" for "exclusively heterosexual". However, there probably aren't many people who are "0" or "6". Most gays would actually rate a "1" and most straights would rate a "5".

    (Note: I might have the numbers reversed. It might be that 6 is gay and 0 is straight. It's been a while since I was in college).

  5. #5

    Default

    From your story I wouldn't think you're gay, or bisexual for that matter. Having a homosexual experience doesn't mean you are. You've been there, done that and apparently didn't like it. There's nothing wrong with experimenting. If anything it should make you more sure about your sexuality.

  6. #6

    Default

    Yeah, it sounds like you were just passive...

    The fact that you didn't enjoy it is what's important. I'd put not stopping it down to drinking, the pressure, maybe the meth and maybe a desire to simply experiment a little.

  7. #7

    Default

    Getting an erection doesn't mean anything. I bet you could go out in the woods and rub up against a tree, and, if you did it right, get one. Tactile stimulation will do that.

    As for your story, I had a friend of mine have something vaguely similar happen to him. He ended up at some guy's apartment and the guy was trying to massage him and then get him to watch a DVD with him (his DVD collection seemed to contain an awful lot of gay porn). At that point he decided to split. He's been pretty homophobic ever since.

  8. #8

    Default

    The guy tried to convince me otherwise. I'm not homophobic, but I hope people with a more open sexual orientation aren't like that guy. Because he was a total asshole trying to control me.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie F View Post
    Yeah, it sounds like you were just passive...

    The fact that you didn't enjoy it is what's important. I'd put not stopping it down to drinking, the pressure, maybe the meth and maybe a desire to simply experiment a little.
    I don't think I could have said it any better.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by watashinicksan View Post
    Sorry if this ends up too long, but I've got a lot on my mind so...
    A couple of months ago a guy I met about 2 YEARS prior in a park (note to self: NEVER give out your phone number to some random kid)
    called me and kept pestering me to hang out with him.
    At first I said no defiantly, and as we were talking somehow I mentioned that I was (and still am) a virgin, and then he invited me over to his house to "meet some girls" I guess?
    I don't know what I was thinking but I went. At first he started talking about how he was going to call some girl that wanted to have sex with me, now I was kind of skeptical. He gave me some clothes to wear because he said my clothes weren't attractive enough. Then he asked a somewhat personal question: if my groin was shaved. I said no. Then for some stupid reason I agreed to have him shave it for me. Again, I don't know what I was thinking Because he was pulling on my penis, naturally I got an erection, and he started to suck my penis. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he thought I had got an erection because I was turned on.
    I have never had the slightest idea that I would be bisexual, and still think that I'm not, but I'm not quite sure. I am not attracted to having sex with a man. He stopped and we then did something that I would consider more normal but a little weird: started watching porn. But then he suggested we watch a GAY porn. Which we did. By this point he had offered me meth, which I reluctantly snorted. Now that we were watching gay porn, he started to jack off. I was a little perturbed but we kept watching.
    A little while after he suggested that we try what we saw.
    Now I was maybe slightly buzzed from the meth and beer, but for some reason I said ok. Then we went into the bathroom and uh, did some stuff. I couldn't get an erection and was reluctant to everything, but for some reason or another I agreed to do it. Now I am confused because, I really could have left at any point but I stayed, and agreed to do everything. Maybe I am too naive or maybe I am too passive, I don't know. But I really do not want to see him ever again (not to mention everything he said was a lie) nor do I have any inkling to do anything with any other guys. He called me several times after that saying annoying things and trying to pressure me more, but I would say no and hang up.
    Sorry if this is long again, I just really wanted to get that off my chest. I didn't tell anyone but my mom, who was understand, I didn't even tell my twin brother whom I tell everything to (except that I like diapers). Thanks for listening to me rant.
    If you honestly think you're straight, you almost definitely are. Anyone gets an erection from being touched down there, by either sex, straight, gay, or somewhere in between.

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