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Thread: Therapy

  1. #1

    Default Therapy

    Hi all

    So I've only really just started coming to terms with this side of me (i have a long way to go). I've seen therapists for my anxiety, but never bought this up. Those of you that have had therapy: Do therapists tell you it is something to confront/get rid of or do they tell you to accept, and enjoy? Hope that makes sense. X

  2. #2

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Marting View Post
    Hi all

    So I've only really just started coming to terms with this side of me (i have a long way to go). I've seen therapists for my anxiety, but never bought this up. Those of you that have had therapy: Do therapists tell you it is something to confront/get rid of or do they tell you to accept, and enjoy? Hope that makes sense. X
    Marting,

    It really quite depends on whether it's disturbing your life, or helping you... and that's one of the things you'll find out in session... you're not expected to know... It may be a bit of both, but may only be a matter of shifting perspectives and finding a balance, and perhaps boundaries...

    -Marka

  3. #3

    Default

    They vary by advice, you will probably go through a few of them and they'll have different opinions about it.

    I have bad anxiety well. I haven't had the opportunity to have a visit with a therapist. If you want to bring up this side of you to them that's your choice. I don't think any of us can force this completely out of our lives. It'll be like forcing yourself to not be happy. I'm not trying to say that this makes you happy, but obviously this plays a big part of your emotions and I understand. Feeling guilty over a desire that was frowned upon growing up.

    You have to think more positively about yourself, while being little or wearing diapers. If you like it or not, the desire will always be lurking around the corner. It's not a bad thing, there's nothing wrong with you for having these desires. We are all people with other hobbies and walks of life. This doesn't run our whole life.

    The one thing that it does do is impact some of the decisions that we make especially when it comes to relationships with other people. I haven't been in a relationship with anyone myself. I don't know if I have an interest in a relationship, but i do have feelings for some people. I am still ashamed somewhat and worry what others might think of me and my little side.

    It is a tough test of time for us. Others have healthy relationships here, with knowing partners. Some keep it a secret still to this day. You just really need to decide if you want a life with someone as well.

    It's rather unhealthy to try and keep your little side locked up. Your constant neglect against it will affect you as well as your partner and others around you. You most certainly won't be happy with yourself if you went the quit route. The moment you see a diaper commercial or some diapers in the store, you will have some kind of interaction, whether looking or trying to ignore them, it will be there lurking around. Then you think negatively about yourself and punish yourself.

    You really need to take steps to accept yourself and your little side and take it along for the ride. I'm not saying to fully blossom out of your little's shell. Just accept that it's there. It's okay if you like to wear diapers. They are no harm to anyone beyond a diaper rash. If you feel you will get rejected by a partner, then by all means it was for the better. Your partner should accept you for who you are, not just the other 75%. They wouldn't be "the one".

    A few good steps to acceptance is to put on a diaper and do other things that you love. Go watch a movie at a theater. Go shopping. Play golf. Ride a bike. Just go live. Take your little side out of its cage and be you. Nobody will know you're wearing diapers.

    Stop being ashamed of yourself, talk to yourself in your mind while wearing if you feel guilty and think positive or think of something else.

    You really don't need an opinion about being an ABDL. They'll just tell you how they feel about it, or they'll just say it's okay and not know what else to say. The others will not even be familiar with what ABDLs are. They don't know how it feels to be an ABDL. Some might just be very intolerant about it.

    As I said before, live life, be happy. For yourself.

  4. #4

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    The therapist I know is there for me. He assists me in dealing with my feelings and thoughts so I can make decisions and choose behavior to help me reach my goals. He is non judgmental. He asked if I wanted to be a sissy and what that meant to me. He then helped me to recognize that my anxiety was a fear of being caught and what others might say. he then helped me see that my depression was from shame and guilt which I had nothing to be shamed about because I wasn't broken and that my guilt was unwarranted because I had done nothing bad to feel bad about.

  5. #5

    Default

    Thank you so much for your answers
    so far. Very insiteful!

    - - - Updated - - -

    For me at the moment, i must sayi i feel a lot of guilt. Perhaps i shouldnt, but it really scares me Quite lonely. X

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marting View Post
    For me at the moment, i must sayi i feel a lot of guilt. Perhaps i shouldnt, but it really scares me Quite lonely. X
    Aw, *hugs*! Guilt and shame are really destructive emotions if you're feeling them all the time. Therapists are generally concerned with making you feel "okay" about yourself and figuring out how to live the kind of life that you are happy with. They're not there to judge your choices.

    My therapist sees the AB/DL thing as being a "perfectly understandable" reaction to the anxieties I had when I was little, and that it's a useful "self-soothing" tool. The only reason to feel shame is if you worry about being judged by other people... But it's not other peoples' place to judge you. They don't have that right (unless you give it to them).

    Say you like watching Star Trek. Some people think that "Trekkies" are geeky nerds, so they might be condescending about things you enjoy. You only need to be embarrassed if you actually care what they think, or, perhaps, if you think that they are right in saying that doing geeky/nerdy things is "bad" or "shameful", so you feel bad about being driven by your base desires to watch Star Trek. But who cares if watching it is a "base desire"? Life should be pleasurable. Maybe watching Star Trek gives you a "cheap thrill" that other people wouldn't enjoy, but so what? You can't choose what you enjoy based on others' preferences.

    People in our society (including me!) would be slightly horrified at the idea of drinking human milk! Yet most are quite happy to drink the breast milk of smelly farmyard animals. The things people like to do don't have to make sense. I should be perfectly happy to milk from a clean human if I drink it from a "dirty" animal... yet I'm not! But, as a human myself, I'm "free" to choose without justification just because I want to... even if I don't understand why I would want to.

    Are you ever troubled by the fact that chocolate tastes good? Do you ever feel guilty about liking it or find your desire hard to accept? No! Of course not -- no explanation is needed! If it feels good, do it! (Within moral reason.)

    Anyway, I'm rambling again, but my AB/DL tendencies are closely tied in with my anxiety, so it's been really helpful to be able to talk about it with my therapist. It's not something that we talk about much now because it's not really that important, but it helped me feel like I was being open and honest (and that I could trust my therapist).

    I posted a few threads a while back asking how people brought up the topic with their therapists, and talking about my experience. If you'd like a read, they're here:
    https://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-t...hrink-how.html
    https://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-t...therapist.html
    https://www.adisc.org/forum/adult-ba...-confused.html

  7. #7

    Default

    I do not know of much I can add to the already great advice that is given, but I do see one thing I can state in a little different light.

    There is mention of Guilt and shame. These are the key product of the binge and purge cycle. The thing that a GOOD therapist would help you with is the acceptance aspect of the situation.

    The thing that I found was once I got through the self-acceptance aspect and gained an understanding of the whole issue, I was able to move on once the guilt and shame was conquered.

    Egor

  8. #8

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    Thank you for your understanding. Made bid steps this week. Bought some Goodnites and told my brother!

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marting View Post
    Thank you for your understanding. Made bid steps this week. Bought some Goodnites and told my brother!
    Wow!

    How did that go, Marting?

    If you care to share...


    -Marka

  10. #10

    Default

    Supprisingly well. We'd both been drinking, and had a heart to heart. He said it was'nt suprising considering our childhood!

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