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Thread: Anxiety & Depression and a empty, sad and painful feeling in my chest

  1. #1

    Default Anxiety & Depression and a empty, sad and painful feeling in my chest

    Hi. I've never posted in the Mature Topics section before but lately my anxiety and depression have really been giving me a hard time. For weeks now I've had a constant hollow, empty, sad and painful feeling in my chest. I don't know how else to really describe it or what it is other than I'm pretty sure the anxiety/depression is causing it. The only things that take it away are diapers (which I can't afford right now) and several things that I can't rightly do in public. Those are cuddling my teddy bear (which helps instantly), sucking on my paci (which my mom STOLE from me) and smoking a joint, which is obviously not legal in my state. I was wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences and had any advice on what to do. Having a real hard time right now.

  2. #2

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    I've had this before. It really hurts and I'm so sorry you're going through this awful time right now. When emotional pain gets bad enough, it turns into physical pain. The thing I equate it to most when I get it is that it's really the same feeling as the 'rejection' feeling. You know that sensation when you asked a girl/guy out and they reacted in an unkind way? It's like a hollow, dropping, stabbing in your chest/ upper stomach. I get this sensation all the time when I am feeling depressed. It's almost like I'm rejecting myself, constantly, and then feeling bad about it.

    Do you think you might be rejecting yourself? Are you sort of thinking mean things about yourself, or calling yourself insults in your head? Are you saying things like "I can't do this" or "this will never get better" or anything like that? It sounds like you could be thinking negative things, and that doesn't help you get better. It might help to retrain your brain to think positively. I'm working on this myself, and it's really, really hard! It takes so much more time than I realized. But the times I've done it successfully have really paid off. I felt so much better when my thoughts stopped being so negative and untrue. It still happens for me a lot, but I am not anywhere near over my anxiety and depression issues. Here is a list of negative thoughts... see if any of these happen with you.

    A therapist can help you retrain your brain to think about things in a different, more fair and less negative way. I'm not going to tell you to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and smile and get over it. I know this stuff is serious and if people could do that, they would. No one wants to be anxious and depressed. I am saying, though, you do have some amount of control in this. You can see someone to help you, or read some inspirational books, or try doing some methods at home if you can't afford a therapist or have no insurance. It's also possible you might need medication to help you live a normal life again.

    Here's one thing that is helping me right now. Do something you can be proud about everyday. Like, maybe you take a walk or exercise. Maybe you clean your room / house. Maybe you made something healthy for dinner instead of ordering pizza. Do something everyday, even a little thing, that you can be proud about. That helps you give yourself positive things to think about, gives you hope, and gives you a great head start to a better future. Don't let any days slip by where you didn't do anything helpful or positive for your future. Don't just sit and watch Netflix in your diapers all day on your day off, even though I totally understand that it's so freaking hard to find the motivation to get up when you're depressed. Just try your best to do one thing, just one thing!

    You can PM me if you need. I'm working on a lot of these same strategies myself right now. I am noticing differences, but I still have hard days. Anyway, you're not alone, you're right that it completely sucks, but this won't be like this forever. You can't turn it off like a switch, but you can do something about it. And also, congrats on making this post here today. You already did such an amazing first step in reaching out for support.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    I've had this before. It really hurts and I'm so sorry you're going through this awful time right now. When emotional pain gets bad enough, it turns into physical pain. The thing I equate it to most when I get it is that it's really the same feeling as the 'rejection' feeling. You know that sensation when you asked a girl/guy out and they reacted in an unkind way? It's like a hollow, dropping, stabbing in your chest/ upper stomach. I get this sensation all the time when I am feeling depressed. It's almost like I'm rejecting myself, constantly, and then feeling bad about it.

    Do you think you might be rejecting yourself? Are you sort of thinking mean things about yourself, or calling yourself insults in your head? Are you saying things like "I can't do this" or "this will never get better" or anything like that? It sounds like you could be thinking negative things, and that doesn't help you get better. It might help to retrain your brain to think positively. I'm working on this myself, and it's really, really hard! It takes so much more time than I realized. But the times I've done it successfully have really paid off. I felt so much better when my thoughts stopped being so negative and untrue. It still happens for me a lot, but I am not anywhere near over my anxiety and depression issues. Here is a list of negative thoughts... see if any of these happen with you.

    A therapist can help you retrain your brain to think about things in a different, more fair and less negative way. I'm not going to tell you to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and smile and get over it. I know this stuff is serious and if people could do that, they would. No one wants to be anxious and depressed. I am saying, though, you do have some amount of control in this. You can see someone to help you, or read some inspirational books, or try doing some methods at home if you can't afford a therapist or have no insurance. It's also possible you might need medication to help you live a normal life again.

    Here's one thing that is helping me right now. Do something you can be proud about everyday. Like, maybe you take a walk or exercise. Maybe you clean your room / house. Maybe you made something healthy for dinner instead of ordering pizza. Do something everyday, even a little thing, that you can be proud about. That helps you give yourself positive things to think about, gives you hope, and gives you a great head start to a better future. Don't let any days slip by where you didn't do anything helpful or positive for your future. Don't just sit and watch Netflix in your diapers all day on your day off, even though I totally understand that it's so freaking hard to find the motivation to get up when you're depressed. Just try your best to do one thing, just one thing!

    You can PM me if you need. I'm working on a lot of these same strategies myself right now. I am noticing differences, but I still have hard days. Anyway, you're not alone, you're right that it completely sucks, but this won't be like this forever. You can't turn it off like a switch, but you can do something about it. And also, congrats on making this post here today. You already did such an amazing first step in reaching out for support.
    Thank you! I have been seeing a therapist and we've trying to find the right medication(s) to help. I wonder things like "Should tell her about being AB/DL?" and "Does she even know what that is?" or try to make me get rid of it. I've wanted to tell her but I've never ever told anyone about this part of me (except here of course.) It's so hard trying to get the courage to tell her. Sent you a PM.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by gnd567 View Post
    Thank you! I have been seeing a therapist and we've trying to find the right medication(s) to help. I wonder things like "Should tell her about being AB/DL?" and "Does she even know what that is?" or try to make me get rid of it. I've wanted to tell her but I've never ever told anyone about this part of me (except here of course.) It's so hard trying to get the courage to tell her. Sent you a PM.
    Thanks for the nice PM! Well, as far as talking about ABDL... the thing with that is; do you need to talk about it because it is something you want to stop? I only mention things that are problems in my life. For me, being ABDL isn't a problem. It can be a strange coping mechanism, but it is not out of control for me. I do it here and there, and wear diapers about once a week. It's not an addiction. So I don't have any reason to talk to my therapist about it. If it is not a problem, then it would be kind of strange to tell your therapist, similarly to just bringing up how and where you masturbate (assuming you do that in a non-harmful way!)

    So, basically, if you think being ABDL is a problem that you need to stop, or it has become an addiction that is out of control (buying too much stuff, spending way too much time being an AB, missing out on life because you would rather be an AB) then totally mention it to your therapist. But if it's not a problem, she doesn't really need to know about it. I never mentioned it to mine because it's not an addiction or problem.

    Basically, the rule for therapists is: Is XYZ causing my client to problems that interfere with his/her life? Those are the types of things they help with.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    Thanks for the nice PM! Well, as far as talking about ABDL... the thing with that is; do you need to talk about it because it is something you want to stop? I only mention things that are problems in my life. For me, being ABDL isn't a problem. It can be a strange coping mechanism, but it is not out of control for me. I do it here and there, and wear diapers about once a week. It's not an addiction. So I don't have any reason to talk to my therapist about it. If it is not a problem, then it would be kind of strange to tell your therapist, similarly to just bringing up how and where you masturbate (assuming you do that in a non-harmful way!)

    So, basically, if you think being ABDL is a problem that you need to stop, or it has become an addiction that is out of control (buying too much stuff, spending way too much time being an AB, missing out on life because you would rather be an AB) then totally mention it to your therapist. But if it's not a problem, she doesn't really need to know about it. I never mentioned it to mine because it's not an addiction or problem.

    Basically, the rule for therapists is: Is XYZ causing my client to problems that interfere with his/her life? Those are the types of things they help with.
    Thanks. That makes sense. It's not an addiction, though I do wish I had a caregiver to take care of me from time to time I don't want 24/7 so its not a problem. I probably won't say anything about it.

  6. #6

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    Hello gnd567

    I have dealt with this for many years now, and I totally understand what you are saying.

    People that do not have this have no idea how debilitating it can be. I have gotten so sick and it is just because your body cant fight both the depression and everything else therefore your immune system shuts down.

    I glad to hear that you are seeing a therapist. I hope they are teaching you coping mechanisms to help ground your thoughts so that you can overcome the depression.

    If you need any suggestions to help with grounding PM me and I will share the ideas that I used.

    Good luck.

    p.s.

    I went through hell to finally get my meds figured out and at the correct dosage. Be patient, my therapist told me there is two options, 1) get on the first try or 2) it will take 9 months to figure it out and there is no in between.

    Hang in there.
    Last edited by egor; 29-Apr-2014 at 03:41.

  7. #7

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    I can say Ive been going through a rough patch in life, got injured in 2012, I fell 30 feet onto my face. Survived a traumatic Brain Injury, broken wrist,shoulder, and herniated discs in my nearly broken neck, fractured face and sinus, and loss of 90% of the vision in my right eye), still can't drive, have no long term future, my career is pretty much over, Im still recovering mentally and physically, can't drive, in debt, and owed thousands. My glimmer of hope depends on how everything plays out in court. Its a very long drawn out process. I also live alone in the rural desert, no one really has visited me in a year and a half. I feel very much like Ive lost 2 years of my life, I turn 37 this week, I was 35 when I was still working and in good health and my career was only getting better, I worked so long and so hard to get to where I was at and now I depend on my Mom to get rides to buy groceries with money I really don't have.

    The only thing that helps is my dogs, diapers(I now wet most nights and must wear at night though I still like them) and medical marijuana which is thankfully legal and I have more than enough reasons to use it.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by gnd567 View Post
    Hi. I've never posted in the Mature Topics section before but lately my anxiety and depression have really been giving me a hard time. For weeks now I've had a constant hollow, empty, sad and painful feeling in my chest. I don't know how else to really describe it or what it is other than I'm pretty sure the anxiety/depression is causing it. The only things that take it away are diapers (which I can't afford right now) and several things that I can't rightly do in public. Those are cuddling my teddy bear (which helps instantly), sucking on my paci (which my mom STOLE from me) and smoking a joint, which is obviously not legal in my state. I was wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences and had any advice on what to do. Having a real hard time right now.
    My therapist from years ago recommended a book to me. It helped me and when I start drifting back in a low period, I will re-read a chapter to remind me. Here's a link to the book on amazon feeling good the new mood therapy

  9. #9

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    I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I've suffered from depression too, especially during my college years. I know all about that hollow feeling in the chest. I sometimes have those feelings return. Sometimes, it's almost like I need to revisit where I was so many years ago. Fortunately I don't stay there for more than a day or two.

    I keep very busy, and that helps. What helps me is that I'm now retired and I have a descent income coming in, so I can afford a bike to go bicycling. I can go out to eat, have a beer, and buy diapers and plastic pants. I enjoy reading and writing and walking. I know that when one is very depressed, it's hard to self motivate, like walking or riding a bike. Hopefully the meds will work and you'll find things to keep you occupied. Finding someone to share your life would be even better. That was my goal after I graduated from college, and it's worked well for me.

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