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Thread: Girl Advice

  1. #1

    Default Girl Advice

    I need some help with something that is really starting to bother me
    So there's this girl I know who I like a lot and she feels the same way about me, I probably would've already tried to make a move on her and ask her out but there's one thing that is stopping me, her height. I know this sounds weird but just hear me out
    She has a syndrome (im not sure which one) which doesn't make her a very tall person at all, she is 4'10 and I am 5'7 I'm nearly a whole foot bigger than her, this doesn't bother me as such but where i come from people tend to judge books by their covers, so naturally I'm worried that if I were seen with her that my friends and the people who know me would think I'm going out with someone much younger than me and start harassing me non-stop.

    So what do I do? Does it make me a bad person that I'm being held back by such a minor thing or not? I'm certainly stumped as to what to do which is why I'm making this thread I need advice on what to do.

  2. #2

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    If you like each other there is nothing wrong with going out to get to know each other.

    I once knew a man that was "dwarf" and he was the biggest man I ever had the pleasure of knowing. HE was one of the few people that I have known that when you talked to him you immediately knew he lived his religious beliefs. He was the most kindest and caring person, and you knew he was sincere.

  3. #3

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    I think you know the answer to your questions, you're just looking for affirmation. Of course it doesn't make you a bad person for being concerned about it. This is a new experience and you both need to talk it out and reach an understanding about how you will deal with any challenges that may arise. That's not unusual in any relationship. Many, many years ago I was involved in a relationship with an older person. Yes, some people made comments that I found pretty rude, but when my real friends got to know him, there was no problem. It's not an issue if you don't make it an issue.

    You've already indicated that you like her and care about her. My advice is to take it slow and see where it goes, same as any other budding relationship. Just don't let the possibility of judgemental or prejudiced people stop you from getting involved in a happy relationship. Best wishes, my friend.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by bvb123 View Post
    I need some help with something that is really starting to bother me
    So there's this girl I know who I like a lot and she feels the same way about me, I probably would've already tried to make a move on her and ask her out but there's one thing that is stopping me, her height. I know this sounds weird but just hear me out
    She has a syndrome (im not sure which one) which doesn't make her a very tall person at all, she is 4'10 and I am 5'7 I'm nearly a whole foot bigger than her, this doesn't bother me as such but where i come from people tend to judge books by their covers, so naturally I'm worried that if I were seen with her that my friends and the people who know me would think I'm going out with someone much younger than me and start harassing me non-stop.

    So what do I do? Does it make me a bad person that I'm being held back by such a minor thing or not? I'm certainly stumped as to what to do which is why I'm making this thread I need advice on what to do.
    The two of you could also have a conversation about how to deal with any negative reactions together... as long as you are both legal consenting and caring; it's really no-one else's business. I suppose that if excessive ignorant confrontations seem quite likely; you could be more selective about when and where you show more affection like holding hands and such... I think it may have already been said more or less... just be confident and relaxed in your relationship without giving other's book-cover judgements too much power...

    Live your lives,
    -Marka

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by bvb123 View Post
    I'm worried that if I were seen with her that my friends and the people who know me would think I'm going out with someone much younger than me and start harassing me non-stop
    If you're worried about strangers reporting you for sexual misconduct with a minor, that's one thing. But if we're talking about your friends and people who already know you, I don't see why this would be an issue. Unless she behaves like a 16-year-old, or unless your friends pretty thick, they'll figure it out, and if they don't, she can tell them herself how old she is. If they still give you trouble for dating someone who's short or looks younger than you, you're probably better off without them. I wouldn't waste an opportunity to pursue a love interest just because my friends might give me trouble.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by ManicMunchkin View Post
    If you're worried about strangers reporting you for sexual misconduct with a minor, that's one thing. But if we're talking about your friends and people who already know you, I don't see why this would be an issue. Unless she behaves like a 16-year-old, or unless your friends pretty thick, they'll figure it out, and if they don't, she can tell them herself how old she is. If they still give you trouble for dating someone who's short or looks younger than you, you're probably better off without them. I wouldn't waste an opportunity to pursue a love interest just because my friends might give me trouble.
    It's just friends I'm worried about, my friends tend to judge people by their looks so naturally I'm worried If I were seen with her they'd think I'm dating a kid or something you are right though I shouldn't let my friends get in the way of something that I want

  7. #7

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    I had the opposite problem in a way. There was a girl I liked who was taller than me, maybe 2 inches, but she was gorgeous. I didn't ask her out as I was afraid of what others we worked with would say. I never did and I have regretted it ever since. Maturity should start to kick in about your age so if your friends are making comments, then maybe they aren't very good friends. Ask her out. You're going on a date, which means having fun with each other regardless of the circumstances.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by bvb123 View Post
    I shouldn't let my friends get in the way of something that I want
    Exactly... if they are your friends then you shouldn't need to be afraid about that. Except some mean jokes perhaps, but that always happens from time to time, based on what they might find funny and if you also react how they imagine.

    Other than that... just don't think too much. It's okay to be concerned about her of course. But don't let something silly like her height be that much of a criterion.
    And by the way, you're not that tall either. Don't guys like, besides most girls also in reverse, around 4 inch smaller girls usually? So she's a bit smaller than that, but what about it. She's as big as Kylie Minogue... she's small, okay, but very good looking in my eyes. It's not about the size at all usually how pretty we may find people, besides that it doesn't matter at all if we love the person anyway.

    However, I understand your concern about seeming to date an underage girl. So I assume she's also looking very young? Altough on the other hand, you're also only 19 years old, so do you look that old? Or to be specific: How should an 19 year old look in contrast to being 16 or 17?


    Just don't worry too much, but you can still talk to her how she feels about that... perhaps, but don't offend her. And best of luck.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by bvb123 View Post
    I need some help with something that is really starting to bother me
    So there's this girl I know who I like a lot and she feels the same way about me, I probably would've already tried to make a move on her and ask her out but there's one thing that is stopping me, her height. I know this sounds weird but just hear me out
    She has a syndrome (im not sure which one) which doesn't make her a very tall person at all, she is 4'10 and I am 5'7 I'm nearly a whole foot bigger than her, this doesn't bother me as such but where i come from people tend to judge books by their covers, so naturally I'm worried that if I were seen with her that my friends and the people who know me would think I'm going out with someone much younger than me and start harassing me non-stop.

    So what do I do? Does it make me a bad person that I'm being held back by such a minor thing or not? I'm certainly stumped as to what to do which is why I'm making this thread I need advice on what to do.
    Seriously?
    You like her, she likes you, end of the story.
    And for what it's worth: if your FRIENDS harass you over having a small girlfriend, they are NOT YOUR FRIENDS.

    And no it does not make you a BAD PERSON - but an insecure one.

    also 4'10" isn't exactly dwarf-sized... she's 1m48cm - now it's not tall by any standard, but it's not that rare for a girl.
    And mate, with 5'7 you're not exactly a giant either

    So rejoice in having someone to like and be liked ... and the rest can go to hell.

  10. #10

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    [QUOTELira;1179678]however, I understand your concern about seeming to date an underage girl. So I assume she's also it's looking very young? Altough on the other hand, you're also only 19 years old, so do you look that old? Or to be specific: How should an 19 year old look in contrast to being 16 or 17? [/QUOTE]

    Yeah shes the same age as me but has this theory that she looks like a kid, however I don't think she does at all :P its just a matter of opinion I guess, which is why I was worried people are gunna think I'm holding hands and kissing a kid :/

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