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Thread: A Little Encouragement

  1. #1

    Default A Little Encouragement

    Hello everyone I have seen alot of threads with the following or similar to the following topic titles "I got caught" "how do I tell him/her" well I am here to just encourage all of you that your first step is to not care.. you are who you are and there is no changing that. I can't even fathom not being as open as I am anymore and I have no idea how I was so closed and survived my own mind. For instance here is a blunt but great way to weed out the crappy people in your life (Not applicable to all situations) as soon as you meet somone try to get into some sort of deep conversation if your hanging out for a long time to get to know eachother. Talk about your struggles that are socially well known and then bluntly bring up your diapers "I like to wear diapers alot and it's a part of me, I don't really know why I just do." I can't tell you how many friendships I have made just by being so blunt. The ones that shrug and go really? I know to keep. The ones that kind of get put off by it and don't seem accepting as soon as I say it I steer the conversation a different way and then never hang out with them agian. Now I know what alot of you are thinking. "Come on dude that is just harsh!" well... no it isn't and I will tell you why. I have been put down so much in my life for my diaper love and it was because I wasn't straight forword with my friends right away, if you tell people your a ABDL or DL right away they know what to expect and if they don't care they are right for you. It's just an aspect of your personality and if you feel like wearing in front of them and they somhow (Hopefully not) see then they won't freak and instantly think your a weirdo

    My expereince came in the form of a best freind of 18 years I had just told she changed my diapers as a child so she got very very creeped out but after about 2 months of conversation she acually understood and didn't judge me for it anymore. If I had been straightforword with her when it had happened the akward period could have been avoided completly I am almost certain. My beautiful girlfriend is also a great example, as soon as she met me I got into deep conversation after a bit and let her know bluntly. She loved me for it and we fell in love months later. I am telling all of you married guys who havn't told your wives HURRY UP because it may be too late sometime... and that makes me sad it really does because I love all of you on these boards

    All of you have helped me and I just wanted to share my insight

  2. #2


    My fiance and I were talking about how there were people on ADISC with spouses who didn't know ... he was completely shocked. Said he was glad I had not done that and so on...
    I would agree that ultimately people who do care ought not be in your life ... but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful with finds out.

  3. #3


    I honestly think this should be something everyone on here should read, it's a nice post anybody who is thinking on telling their family, friends or generally anybody about this side of them.

    And to you Bear, thank you for posting this. It's what I and I think a lot of others needed to read.

  4. #4


    There are some old sites postings one heading was when kids love diapers .
    I dont want any one to think the wrong thing here. But this for started 6 or 7 for me as a lot of us did.
    So that post should be a start . I put a link in then found in the links section to d****er old page . So if you want you google it I wont post it here or say any thing more.
    But you can find it.
    Im just older now and yes its for life .
    Sence some of us started as kids.
    Last edited by foxkits; 24-Apr-2014 at 04:24.

  5. #5


    It's always good to hear people talk about coming-outs that went well. We need more of that, no doubt.

    At the same time, when I hear people suggest that there is (or should be) some sort of coming-out code of ethics, I really have to disagree. I've heard far, far more stories of coming-outs gone wrong than not. Further, I've heard far more stories of bad coming-outs involving new or otherwise young relationships than mature ones. In other words, I don't see it as a do-it-before-it's-too-late thing, but rather a don't-do-it-too-soon thing. Most of the time.

    And the logic here is pretty sound, I think: In a young relationship, everything the other person learns about you is huge and subject to wild extrapolation. Why? Because they don't know you yet. Heck, before that first hello, everything that person thought about you was probably based on your physical appearance -- hair, clothes, etc. Or perhaps on some contrived blob of text in a personal ad. And that first hello was 100% of everything you'd ever said to them. So what does all this mean? I think it's pretty simple: Put the important stuff first and leave the less-important idiosyncrasies for later -- perhaps much later. Sounds a little dishonest, yes, but let's not be naive: Kickstarting a relationship is not about being yourself and just letting it all hang out. To a large extent, it's about being who you wish you were.

    The question to ask is really this: How important is AB/DL to you, and how involved does your partner need to be in order for you to be happy?

    As a DL for whom diapers are, to be blunt, an accessory to masturbation, I feel I have very little to gain by telling anybody, and much to lose. If I were single again, would I tell a new girlfriend? Absolutely not! Never. I would be back in the closet for at least a few years. My wife got to see a diaper-less husband for 13 years, so when the diaper thing finally leaked () she had no basis for claiming that I was some total weirdo. There was more than a decade of evidence to the contrary. I have heard of a few people who ended up in bad situations with their wives over this. My inclination is to believe that these people had dysfunctional relationships to begin with. I really see waiting to come out as the more strategically obvious thing to do.

    That said, I know that there are more than a few people on here who look on AB as a lifestyle and can't see themselves being complete without a girlfriend or spouse who'll diaper them, bottle-feed them, etc. And that's perfectly fine, but in that case it probably does need to come out early, or even before the first date. I'll hazard a guess that the majority of prospective girlfriends and spouses out there are not comfortable doing those things, and so finding that minority who are comfortable with it means getting the others out of the way with as quickly as possible.

    So, again, and in short: Coming-outs are great, but early on? They should be important. AB/DL is not the lifestyle to everybody that it is to some, and for those non-lifestylers, the question of whether to come out early in a relationship is not some trivial question of ethics, if it ever is. It's a very individual choice with individual implications. In my case, do I look back on my first few years with my wife and wish that I'd come out sooner? On the contrary; I think it would have been foolish.
    Last edited by Cottontail; 24-Apr-2014 at 05:48.

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