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Thread: My girlfriend caught me twice!

  1. #1

    Default My girlfriend caught me twice!

    I have been great at keeping things secret over the years hiding diapers, covers, onesies...etc in never to find places but going on a bender made me sloppy.

    First time a month ago she says what is this I found diapers and they are not normal ones(ABU super dry kids). At first she said oh thinking I may need them or something but I don't think so. They were in this travel bag that I always lock away in storage and it had everything else you could imagine in there. All very babyish. Anyways, she let it go and nothing else was really said about it.

    The Second time was about a week later since at this point I didn't really care and fell asleep with a paci in my mouth. Of course she opened the door quickly and before I could react she said "What are you doing with a pacifier?". I stumbled and bumbled and said it is for the cat.

    After this she would start joking around with me about it but it feels really uncomfortable if it comes up in any way. I did get rid of everything(best onesie I ever had and other great plastic pants, tops and diaper covers)but as you would guess I started buying stuff again. Oh well it could have been worse just hope she doesn't go to a party and let it slip out Only time will tell if we talk about it again and not really sure what she thinks or what to say.

  2. #2

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    How long have you been together? Might be about time to tell her.

  3. #3

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    6 years but not sure what to say. It would be great if she was into it but she is shy so not sure how to approach it yet.

  4. #4

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    Honestly, in this situation, it seems like the cat´s out of the bag already anyway.

    Whether or not she bought that „Cat-Pacifier“-story (... but... I mean... seriously?...), she´s seen AB-clothes. And diapers. Your size.
    So, whatever she might be thinking now, it´s probably something along the lines of
    „My boyfriend + babyish stuff = ???“ (Unless she´s aaaabsolutely... oblivious xP)

    Conclusion: If you trust and love her, and if you actually believe in this relationship, think about a good way to tell her, and just go for it.

  5. #5

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    Yeah, weather she would be into it or not, what matters is that she accepts you and is at least ok with it. She doesn't have to participate, but it's much better for her to know than it is to make up stories and keep secrets. Just start of with, "I'd like to tell you something about me..." "I'm an adult baby." It usually seems like saying you an adult baby works best, because it is the easiest term to make a correct guess with.

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    There is actually an article here that has better suggestions on how to tell a special someone.

  6. #6

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    Agreed. The hiding will just pull you apart. She is looking at strange things and wondering. You will have to address it. It's hard to do. but a lot easier than if you wait till she brings it up. I know that many times I want to say something, and my mouth won't do it, even though my wife knows all about me. So yes, we know how tough it is.

  7. #7

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    If it was easy to talk about there wouldn't be so many people keeping this a secret.

  8. #8

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    I agree with Bluegray. You've been caught twice, and I doubt she believes your story of the cats toy. If you think she's that dumb, you're mistaken. She can be waiting for you to talk about it on your own terms. I see her giving you space for what she doesn't fully understand.

    Maybe you should send her an email to understanding infantilism if you don't think you could speak to her about it. It will be better this way. If she doesn't want any part of this about you, and decides to leave, that would be better than living with constant paranoia. You would do yourself a favor and find out if you two have true unconditional love for each other.

    Then y'all can live a life without secret. You need to get this off your chest.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehiddenme View Post
    If it was easy to talk about there wouldn't be so many people keeping this a secret.
    Of course, Its ridiculously difficult, but it just gets more and more difficult the further down the road you get, and no mater what, if he doesn't tell her and one day she has to confront him about it because she found something that is really un-explainable, she will be mad at him for keeping it a secret for so long. He can risk it if he wants, and it is all up to him to decide what is best, i mean, if he knows 100% that she would reject him for it, and he still wants to be with her anyway, then yeah, i guess he should keep it a secret, but if he thinks that there is a chance that she will at least be able to deal with it and not be deterred in the long run from a relationship with him, then it is worth telling her the truth. I feel like good relationships are focused on being truthful with each other about important things, and him being an adult baby is an important thing, otherwise he would be capable of quitting it without any emotional stress over it.

    If he needs help telling her, then maybe he knows of a friend or family member who he trusts his life with, and he can start by telling them, and then letting them know he just needed to tell them so that he could practice in telling his girlfriend. He doesn't have to tell the whole world, but getting through telling one person makes the second time a lot easier.

    Anyway, sorry i'm pushing the subject, but i feel pretty dedicated to the idea of honesty in a long lasting relationship and being open about the ab/dl self to important people, whatever you define important people to be.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MeTaLMaNN1983 View Post
    Maybe you should send her an email to understanding infantilism if you don't think you could speak to her about it. It will be better this way. If she doesn't want any part of this about you, and decides to leave, that would be better than living with constant paranoia. You would do yourself a favor and find out if you two have true unconditional love for each other.
    Actually, the first few people i told, i couldn't do it without showing them a website and letting them read it first, just getting out the words 'adult baby' was like trying to breath underwater. Email is a good idea.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MeTaLMaNN1983 View Post
    You've been caught twice, and I doubt she believes your story of the cats toy. If you think she's that dumb, you're mistaken. She can be waiting for you to talk about it on your own terms. I see her giving you space for what she doesn't fully understand.
    There is a pretty good chance that in the back of her mind she could start thinking, 'how dumb does my boyfriend think i am?' Its probably not best to leave her thinking that.

  10. #10

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    When I read you thread I thought maybe you should change your screen name to Thiniceman, because I think you are on thin ice. Face it. She knows, or at least thinks she knows. When my wife found my online diaper order I had to explain the whole thing, something I definitely did not want ever to do. She was very supportive and asked me if I had enough supplies. I think that since your girlfriend didn't make a big deal out of what she found, she will be the accepting type, which means you will be one lucky dude.

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