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Thread: No......way......out

  1. #1

    Default No......way......out

    This week has been disastrous, to start with I have let three good friends down, these people who actually cared about me and gave me the time of day were kind hearted and trusting, and I broke that trust so I know I deserve to suffer the consequences of my actions and all I can say is I'm sorry, but saying sorry in a single tone on the internet does not reflect how much I mean it......the second thing that has occurred my girl friend has left me saying she needs some time which obviously I'm devastated about, but at the same time I have so much respect for her that I am willing to give her the time and space she needs.

    I don't do drugs I don't really drink that much either, maybe once or twice on the weekends but that's about it, I'm certainly not violent in nature I guess what I'm trying to say is on a hole I'm not a bad person, but due to my anxiety and paranoia I can't seem to hold on to the once I care about so I know there's room for improvement but how do I go about making it when I don't even have the strength to eat.

    Has anyone else ever got to that point were you feel there's only one way out?
    and if so how did you overcome that feeling? because it's destroying me. I want to become a better person I want to love and be loved back.
    Sorry if this post is hard to understand this will be the third night without sleep and my heads a mess and I can't even think straight let alone put my feelings into words that actually makes sense.

  2. #2


    I think i slightly know what kind of feelings you are talking about. Essentially you don't feel adequate for anybody?

    First thing first, if you don't mind my asking, what did you do to loose your friends trust?

    I have felt like I was in a hole before, that I wasn't good enough. I get feeling like that a lot with school and dating. I think the hardest thing about it all, is you think about how you are going to be in the future, and you put tons of emphasis on your faults and imagine what you future will be like with that as the main point. Try and think about one of your recent weeks in the past, how was that? If you say that this week is awful, then what made last week good? Do you find that most of the time life is fairly good? I try to remember that my life in general right now is pretty good. I don't have anybody to call my own, which is sad, but I have good friends who i get to hang out with every once in a while, and I get to live my life freely.

    Since you are having trouble with your friends, that might make it a lot harder, because one great fall back is to hang out with friends. If there is anybody else that you can talk to and explain the whole thing, that really helps a lot.

    Try and always be yourself, remember that if they wanted to be your friend in the first place, then there is a good reason why, it is because they enjoy to be around you. Don't make this mistake define your whole self perspective, its a mistake, it doesn't define you. If you were in capable of ever holding friends for more than a week or two, then you probably have a problem, but if you can keep a friend around for a little while, well that's not bad, there is probably a lot of uncontrollable circumstances involved and maybe a few little controllable circumstances. Just think to yourself, "I'm a likeable person, I have flaws, and they may always be around, or they may be fixable and I'll give it my best shot, but I am me, and i like me."

    Well, hopefully that helps out somehow, It may be completely useless, but I can really only tell you off the top of my head what kind of attitude i have been trying to establish for myself. I accept that I make a lot of stupid mistakes, and sometimes i talk before i think, but i've just kind of accepted it now, and if somebody is mad at me for it, i'm willing to admit that I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way, I just didn't take enough time to think about it first and it was an accident.

    Essentially, be willing to admit your faults but don't let them consume you. People like to be around happy people, even if they have to be apologetic about stuff. If you sink in often about doing something wrong though, then it will constantly make you sad, and make things worse. We are all human though and we make mistakes, be glad you make mistakes, only robots don't make mistakes.

  3. #3


    I'm sorry MonkeyDoodle. If you haven't said "I'm sorry" to your friends, and I'm assuming they are real life (not internet only) friends, you probably need to talk to them in person. Like Tyger said, we can't advise much about that as we don't know the circumstances.

    Losing a girlfriend, especially one who accepted your little side would be tough indeed. Reading between the lines, again as Tyger said, try to be yourself. At the same time, try to relax around your special people. Sometimes it's better to do more listening and less talking, especially if you're coming on too strong. Again, I'm reading between your lines, so I could be way off base.

    I hope you'll return to this thread and give us a little more information. We are hear for you and we do care. I certainly do.

  4. #4


    MonkeyDoodle...what's doin little one, this sound grim. I thought you were a happy little primate.

  5. #5


    Chin up old chap Try to keep talking to us and we'll try to help as best as we can
    Hey the sun is out today so much better than yesterday

  6. #6

    Default There are several ways 'out'...

    Quote Originally Posted by MonkeyDoodle View Post
    "..."..."due to my anxiety and paranoia I can't seem to hold on to the ones I care about so I know there's room for improvement but how do I go about making it when I don't even have the strength to eat.
    By getting to the root of the matter AND having help... If I'm not mistaken, you are so afraid or preoccupied with loosing people that you care a lot about... that you may actually be driving them away...

    You may be depriving yourself of food and sleep, and other self-care as a punishment to yourself... or you may simply be unable due to the anxiety...

    Quote Originally Posted by MonkeyDoodle View Post
    Has anyone else ever got to that point were you feel there's only one way out?
    and if so how did you overcome that feeling? because it's destroying me. I want to become a better person I want to love and be loved back."..."..."
    Yes, I and many others have experienced a similar condition. Overcoming that starts with knowing there is more than one way to resolve this... and by that, you've got to get in touch with the many and varied resources to empower you to properly deal with this matter.

    I also believe that you love, and are loved... you must know that anxiety, depression, and such things... tend to obscure those realizations...

    Becoming a 'better' person... can be a bit misleading... Becoming a better you, involves knowledge, empowerment, and better health!

    Can I get free therapy or counselling? - Stress, anxiety and depression

    Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe.

    Everyone has feelings of anxiety at some point in their life. For example, you may feel worried and anxious about sitting an exam or having a medical test or job interview. During times like these, feeling anxious can be perfectly normal.

    However, some people find it hard to control their worries. Their feelings of anxiety are more constant and can often affect their daily life.

    Anxiety is the main symptom of several conditions, including panic disorder, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder and social anxiety disorder (social phobia).

    However, the information in this section is about a specific condition called generalised anxiety disorder (GAD).
    Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)

    GAD is a long-term condition that causes you to feel anxious about a wide range of situations and issues, rather than one specific event.

    People with GAD feel anxious most days and often struggle to remember the last time they felt relaxed. GAD can cause both psychological (mental) and physical symptoms. These vary from person to person, but can include feeling restless or worried and having trouble concentrating or sleeping.
    Help in a mental health crisis

    The Out-of-Hours Urgent Advice Line number is 0800 0234 650

    You really are not alone... getting the help to navigate the anxiety comes without contingency of friends or significant-others, though it does bid well to mending and maintaining all manner of relationships... including, a proper relationship with yourself...

    If you care to share more detail here...that's fine, and we'll talk about it... however, I strongly urge you to seek proper assessment just the same... there isn't any good reason for you to suffer needlessly... I assure you, there are good options that are not finite nor drastic...

    Wishing you wellness!

  7. #7


    Hey, Monkey, First of all, I'm really sorry to hear how tough things have been for you. It can be devastating to lose people who are close to you. I'm concerned about your statements that 'there is no way out' or 'there is only 'one way out.' Is there a risk of suicide? If so, I would strongly advise you to call a local distress centre if one is available in your community or consider getting yourself to the hospital emergency room.

    It's hard to comment about the past week without having the details, but I see reason to be hopeful. I'm not sure what happened with your friends, but is it possible to talk to them and work this out? Perhaps an apology may be required. We all make mistakes and if they are really true friends, then hopefully you can all get things back on track. Again, I don't know the details, but it sounds possible.

    Losing a girlfriend is rough, but you're saying she needs time. Time from what? I'm sure the diapers are involved, but I suspect it's more complicated than that. You indicated that you're suffering from anxiety and paranoia, which is a pretty deadly combination if left untreated. This can also be pretty hard on people who want to be supportive, but are unsure about how to help. Your girlfriend may want to be with you, but she might first need some changes to occur before the relationship can resume. Again, without all the facts, and not knowing your girlfriend, it's just speculation.

    Monkey, I recall from one of your recent posts that you've had a hard time maintaining friendships, that when things are going well, you suffer from anxiety and paranoia, becoming terrified and running away. It almost sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy that the relationship is going to end in disaster, so it happens. And then you punish yourself for it.

    For now, it might be a good idea to talk to your friends and see if you can reconcile with them.

    Give your girlfriend the time and space she has requested. This doesn't mean you have to write off the relationship... she may simply be wanting you to get some help for some of the issues you have identified in your threads.

    Most importantly, Monkey, and speaking as someone who cares about you, I really think it's time to get some counselling for your problems. It sounds like you've had great people in your life, and my concern is that you are pushing them away, due to the anxiety and paranoia that you have identified. There could be underlying causes to these symptoms which may need to be treated by a professional. This would not only help you with the fallout from the past week, but also help you in dealing with relationships in the future.

    Your question:
    " Has anyone else ever got to that point where you feel there's only one way out?"

    Yes. In my younger days, I've been suicidal, I lost a partner to suicide, and I've lost friends to suicide. Believe me, with the right help, the right support, and a willingness to make some changes in your life, these feelings don't last forever, no matter how painful it feels right now.

    There is always another way, Monkey.

  8. #8


    Monkey doodle ! are you ok ? as you've not posted all day i'm worried about you

  9. #9


    I know we don't really know one another but if you need someone to talk to feel free to contact me . I'm a good listener

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by parcelboy2 View Post
    Monkey doodle ! are you ok ? as you've not posted all day i'm worried about you
    I'm okay thanks, sorry I haven't replied to any of your posts it's a lot to take in and process, but I really do appreciate your support.
    I spoke to my girl friend on the phone today and we are going to meet up next week for a chat so hopefully things will work out with me and her, but until then I will give her the space she needs. Maybe getting professional help is something I should look into.
    Once again thank you all for your support it really does mean a lot to me and hopefully I will get myself back on track because being depressed sucks plus I'm not very good at it anyway.........*Monkey*

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