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Thread: how do others deal with being apart from there SO for amounts of time?

  1. #1

    Default how do others deal with being apart from there SO for amounts of time?

    I just signed up to start a automotive tech school at the end of September for 9 to 12 months so I can make a*career out of what I love doing. Its about 5 hours away from where I live, they have dorms where I will be staying it like a apartment with 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms everyone has a key to there room that unlocks the front door too, the bedrooms are really small like Maby 8ft by 8ft.
    My question is how do others deal with being away from loved ones and SOs I will probably only be able to come home one or two weekends out of a month and my wife won't be able to come with me. I'm excited about going but also really scared , my wife and I are going to try to talk as much as we can and we want to
    Try Skype, im definitely going to bring some of my baby stuff I can hide away and some of my stuffed animals to comfort me.
    Its just scary going away from my wife/mommy for a long time.

  2. #2

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    Long distance relationshiping is one of the toughest things one can deal with.
    My wife and I dated for about 2 months before she had to return to her schooling/job across the country.
    We spent about 6 months having only a phone relationship.

    If things are currently going well with you and your wife, you should be fine.
    My advise would be : 1. communication is the most key. -- let her know how your thinking and also pay good attention to what she tells you. its easy to feel like your drifting apart in these situations because you wont have physical contact. which leads to...
    2. if you dont already, start sending random texts throughout the day, tell her you love her, wish her happy day, tell jokes , and so on and so forth. Your going to need to make up for not having time with each other.
    3. MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER!! this is most important, and it will be tough, but if you have to set aside even as little as a half hour right before bed, you need to make dedicated time where its just a moment for you two. talk about each others day,communicate.
    your going to be tired and run down and may not want to talk, but you need to keep this open, because once you let this not be a priority things drift.

    I may be one of the last people to be giving advice on this subject, as my wife and i are currently in a year long , long distance relationship, and our marriage has seen some stress because of it. but we talk every night regardless. being apart can be difficult. but remember to keep focus, and to remember why you are doing school.

    try to put your self in her shoes, and do some nice things for her too, because she may not say, but may also feel neglected too. some times its hard to put our selves in others shoes and realize they may be hurting too.

    to sum it up, keep positive, communicate,communicate,communicate, appreciate, and keep your focus in the forefront.
    if you do that, i cant promise it will go with out a hitch, but i know it will be alot easier. its because we did these things that we were able to get married. and its been why were still together right now.

    I hope this is helpful. kick schools butt. And be advised that 9-12 months in school will go so fast youll barely notice.

  3. #3

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    I've been in the relationship with my SO for now over 12 years and both of us during that time had to be away for a few month for work / education and other stuff.
    Whilst never "easy" - at least to us it was always important to do the following:

    - Remember that it is a limited time... so you will be back living together.
    - Keep in touch (skype, email, etc.)
    - write letters (this one I LOVE ... you anticipate getting the next letter from her and she does the same for your letters... be creative... etc).
    - If you get back together in between the time you're away (weekends, etc) try to make the most out of it,... don't just succumb to sit on the couch and watch movies... do something worth remembering, create lasting memories, etc.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by EPO1
    - If you get back together in between the time you're away (weekends, etc) try to make the most out of it,... don't just succumb to sit on the couch and watch movies... do something worth remembering, create lasting memories, etc.
    My wife, then my fiancee, graduated from college six months before I did. She ended up about 300 miles away, working a shit-paying job and living in an even shittier apartment than she'd had in college. I drove out to see her about every other weekend and helped her kill cockroaches. No joke. Those bad old days still come up in conversation quite regularly, so I guess they are "lasting memories" -- of a sort. Shared suffering is a good form of bonding too, I guess.

  5. #5

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    I've been dating Near long-distance for 2.5 years.

    We text, we chat, we sometimes Skype, and we do what we can to meet up in person periodically. We make long-term plans with an eye towards being in the same location.


    That's really the long and short of it - it stinks being away from the person that you love, and you just have to do as much as your circumstances allow.

  6. #6

    Default how do others deal with being apart from there SO for amounts of time?

    I'll admit I'm kind of terrified about this prospect as well.

    I just found out that I'll be heading to Officer Canidate School next Spring, and naval flight school after that, both of which combine to be somewhere around 6 months in training. My girlfriend is someone I've known literally since I was in diapers (we grew up together) and I've never been away from her for more than a few weeks.

    In a few ways, it feels like dealing with that might be harder than even becoming a naval officer.

  7. #7

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    On this site saying you've known someone since you were in diapers could be just a few weeks.

  8. #8

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    Thanks for all the advise sirscience! Epo1 I'm definitely going to make to most out of every minute I'm visiting, I didn't think about writing letters that's a really good idea. I'm going to make sure I talk to her every day as much as I can, even if we only actually talk on the phone at night.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cottontail View Post
    My wife, then my fiancee, graduated from college six months before I did. She ended up about 300 miles away, working a shit-paying job and living in an even shittier apartment than she'd had in college. I drove out to see her about every other weekend and helped her kill cockroaches. No joke. Those bad old days still come up in conversation quite regularly, so I guess they are "lasting memories" -- of a sort. Shared suffering is a good form of bonding too, I guess.
    I like that ...

    no honestly, I fully agree with you on this one!

  10. #10

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    I would say that staying in touch by phone and email on a daily basis was important. Out of sight, need not and should not mean, out of mind. My lady friend lives some distance from me and we see less of each other than we'd probably like. However we do try to stay in touch on a daily basis. When we do get to spend time together we try to make every second count by treasuring that time making the most of it, not wasting it with silly arguments etc.

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