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Thread: Could you put away abdl tendencies if your partner asked?

  1. #1

    Default Could you put away abdl tendencies if your partner asked?

    After posting on another thread I had this question pop up in my mind:

    If your partner asked you to put aside your ABDL tendencies could you? Could the practice be quelled despite the desire?

    The question came to mind regarding what our priorities are. What the limits are. Do these tendencies define our ultimate happiness? Can the simple balance between kink/desire be trumped by seeking other stabilities in a relationship?

    This question is left open to anyone whether in a relationship, marriage, or not involved with anyone currently.

    Mostly hypothetical.

  2. #2

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    My idea is that if my partner truly loves me for who I am, then they - at the very least - won't mind my ABDL side. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love me for who I am, that's the entire point of marriage and love.

    So no, I wouldn't, because it's part of who I am and I'm not going to hide who I am to my partner. I won't shove it in their faces and I won't flaunt it around, because while it is a part of me, it doesn't entirely define me, as I am more than just an Adult Baby, but I am who I am because I had these tendencies my entire life, from a very early age even. If my ABDL tendencies bother them to the point where they want nothing to do with it and it annoys them or disgusts them, or causes them to push me away, then they truly don't love me for who I am, and that is not a relationship I want to be part of. I'm not saying she is forced to deal with my ABDL tendencies, but I do expect the person I fall in love with to accept and understand that I am who I am because of this, and I can't simply "turn it off" because they want it. If they don't want to change me or don't want to sleep in the same bed when I am wearing a diaper, that's fine, but I'd at least expect for them to accept it enough that I could do it on my own time without worry of judgement.

  3. #3

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    Though, hypothetical, I have done almost just that, though not in the instance that it was asked by my partner. I simply came out about it after dating a couple of years and ended up purging the interest and everything for about three years after that. I fixated and worried about it to the point that not being apart of the community and taking part wasn't as important as the relationship itself. After we split up, I eased back into it aboooout a year later with small things, such as more stuffed animals and a pacifier.

    I realize at this point in my life after having done such a thing that I have always preferred someone who would just accept this side of me and I'm thankful that I was able to find that someone. Well, he found me, actually. Anyways, it's tiring and stressful to be ashamed of something that I shouldn't be and even moreso to hide it. It's a simple comfort. If I'm found weird, that's okay. There are far worse things I could do to simulate the feeling I get from being silly. I tote around a stuffed animal and a pacifier while cleaning house - and it makes me happy. If anything, such a simple comfort keeps me more entertained by the day to day than most people I know personally.

  4. #4

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    I hid it from my partner and, most of the time, myself for 15 years. So technically I could hide it away again. I never thought that anybody would accept that side of me, I felt dirty about it.

    Would I be happy to hide it away again? No.. I now know that I am not a freak to be laughed at by the rest of the world and I am not alone in my feelings.

    While my wife and kids mean more to me than anything in this world and I would do anything for them, including hide away again (not that my kids know or will ever know anything), I am in the lucky position that I will never have to make this decision as my wife is an amazing person and fully accepts me.

    I just wish that everybody was so open minded and that everybody here had that special SO.

    Good question though, I have been talking to my wife about it recently.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by ilostthesheriff View Post
    After posting on another thread I had this question pop up in my mind:

    If your partner asked you to put aside your ABDL tendencies could you? Could the practice be quelled despite the desire?

    The question came to mind regarding what our priorities are. What the limits are. Do these tendencies define our ultimate happiness? Can the simple balance between kink/desire be trumped by seeking other stabilities in a relationship?

    This question is left open to anyone whether in a relationship, marriage, or not involved with anyone currently.

    Mostly hypothetical.
    This is going to be a completely hypothetical answer then


    Primarily I am IC - thus some form of "protection" is basically mandatory as none other medical working options are available in my case so far. I do also have a DL Side to myself, but no AB side at all (it's not something I could get any joy out of).... My DL-Side is what I would consider very mild and probably was born from the need during my childhood/Teenage years to cope somehow with the fact of still needing diapers, pads, etc...
    And to be honest the DL Side makes my IC life a good bit easier as I can at least find comfort in the items I have to wear rather than despise them as a last resort option like many IC folks I know.

    BUT and this is just myself - I have NO DESIRE at any rate to INVOLVE anyone else in my DL fantasies... not even my girlfriend. Also the DL Stuff has over the years become less and less sexual to me, to a point where I no longer feel any sexual attraction to the diapers as an object.....
    My SO knows about my IC of course, and she knows about my DL side...
    And yes maybe especially because it's a coping strategy of sorts and I have a medical dependency on diapers quitting the DL Side would be really difficult. Because the diaper would have to remain and act as a constant reminder.
    But the whole issue is moot in my case, as my DL Side doesn't involve my SO to any degree aside from having to wear diapers for the IC stuff... .so I don't see what she would get (beneficial) out of me stopping my DL desires.



    On a general level so, removed from my individual "condition" I do believe that you can QUIT ANYTHING... be this a drug addiction, a fetish, or whatever else...
    IF YOU TRULY WANT TO.
    I do not think that you can get RID of the actual desire on a subconscious level... but you can certainly master the urges, and don't follow through with anything.
    is it easy? I doubt it...
    Is it worth it? that really depends on the motivation and what you will get from it.

    Personally though I don't think that doing such a thing for another person would be a healthy act... and I do believe if the other person truly loves you, a fetish shouldn't be such a big deal.
    BUT: IT REALLY DEPENDS ON HOW YOU HANDLE your fetish... now if you want anyone elese to be involved, well the other person can rightly so say "no thanks" and no one should be pushy after a "no".
    Also I am a firm believer in moderation with those things... if you come out with a kink such as ABDL stuff and initially the person whom you have confided in is "accepting" it doesn't mean to be a free-pass to run around in diapers, etc... all the time or even flaunt it... acceptance does not equate to "liking" it.

    And this is to me at least crucial... if she would ask you to CUT DOWN, curb down the desire, don't act out on it in an obvious matter, but for example would be ok if you wear diapers under your clothes, etc... than I guess "quitting" (in terms of really keeping a low profile) is not a big deal at any rate.

  6. #6

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    No. I wouldn't want to give up anything. It doesn't matter if it's diapers, video games, or anything that interests me.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by ShippoFox View Post
    No. I wouldn't want to give up anything. It doesn't matter if it's diapers, video games, or anything that interests me.
    Damm right

  8. #8

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    Being the partner of an AB myself, I can't imagine ever asking him to just stop and give it up 100%. We're having boundary issues right now, but that doesn't mean I want him to change who he is because his source of comfort is different from my own. I guess in a sense I'm lucky because it's purely a comfort and joy of being little for my husband. There is no sexual aspect to it for him so it never crosses into the bedroom or effects our physical relationship in any way. It took me a good long while to adjust and become comfortable with sleeping next to him while he was diapered, but now it isn't a big deal. I even let him spoon me while wearing because well, it's just normal in our home now. Asking him to give it up would be the equivalent of him asking me to stop reading to relax. And let me tell you, this book worm would be agro!! In the end, if someone truly loves you, they would NEVER ask you to erase something that brings comfort and joy to your life. They may need more balance, but your returned love for them should have no problem with that request! Anyway, that's my take!!
    Last edited by AgentVixenJ; 15-Apr-2014 at 18:08. Reason: auto correct makes me sound illiterate!!!

  9. #9

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    Nope. Wouldn't do it.

    If he can't accept it, it's his problem, not mine. And honestly when seeking a partner I would be looking for someone who not only accepts my ab/dl/bf side, but would be willing to play a more active role in it as well. I'm not trying to sound selfish, I personally just need someone who can fulfill my emotional needs.

    As the saying goes, love me, love my dog. Or my fetish.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaStarshine View Post
    Nope. Wouldn't do it.

    If he can't accept it, it's his problem, not mine. And honestly when seeking a partner I would be looking for someone who not only accepts my ab/dl/bf side, but would be willing to play a more active role in it as well. I'm not trying to sound selfish, I personally just need someone who can fulfill my emotional needs.

    As the saying goes, love me, love my dog. Or my fetish.
    Especially if you use the same size diapers

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